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Quick! What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "jab"? For me it's something uncomfortable. A euphemism for how I feel when something isn't going my way. "I'd like to jab this spork into my eye!" I'd say with all the hyperbole I can muster and an eye roll. I don't see "jab" as something that I'd want done to me even in the best of circumstances. It doesn't scream pleasant. It's quick and to the point.
So of course the last thing I would ever want done to myself is to have something jabbed into my boob. Because I am among friends I feel comfortable in announcing that I have thought of breast augmentation before. In the heat of the moment while drinking with friends I cup my own breasts giving them a little more lift and oomph so that they were skyward as opposed to low hangers. It's genetic, you see; I just don't have great boobs.
Friends of mine will protest and say that I have a great rack. And I have paid a lot of money for this rack of mine via numerous bra fittings and letting some strange woman in the Nordstrom fitting room stare at my breasts. I'm vexed when I hear about these new ways to improve yourself that are "less invasive." Anytime someone suggest jabbing something into my breast to keep me from having a 'real' boob job doesn't make me feel all that at ease with the process.
The "boob jab" inserts -- albeit quickly -- the gel form of Macrolane into the breast tissue. It gives instant lift and can provide an increase of at least a full cup size. It's a no muss, no fuss procedure that lasts up to 90 minutes. Results are immediate and voila! You've gone from a B cup to a C cup during your lunch hour, and for only $4,000 a pop! Sounds grand, doesn't it?
Too bad it's not permanent: the boob jab only lasts about a year. Then you're right back where you were before, but $4,000 poorer. Even better!
Excuse my sarcasm, but it's hard not to do eye roll after eye roll when I hear of things like this. And in no way am I at peace with my body. Frankly, I hate my body. I would love nips and tucks and for something to be a little tighter or longer or leaner. Sure, I'd enjoy longer lashes but I wouldn't put anything on my eye lids to make it happen; I'd get false lashes. Or use this great invention called MASCARA. Just like I would love better, firmer breasts but I wouldn't have someone put an "injectable" into my boob so that I could have them for a brief moment. I'd just get a better bra.
I am not a woman who mocks plastic surgeries and finds them all silly and unnecessary. I'm not some uberfeminist who feels that woman are keeping themselves down and damn the man! LET'S ALL BURN OUR BRAS! I'm just a woman who knows that nothing is perfect and that there are things out there to help with the imperfections. I'm a woman who knows that right now there are things that can improve what I hate but at the end of the day these things can be removed and I can be soft and lumpy. I don't need permanence and I don't understand why at the end of the day some women cannot say,"This is my body. It sucks but at least I can appreciate it."
