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Hi, I'm Karen Ballum, but I'm better know around the web as Sassymonkey. I live in Ottawa, Ontario -- Canada's national capital. (No, I do not li...

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Cooking (and Cookies!) for One

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One of the things that Dominique Browning admitted struggling with in her memoir, Slow Love is cooking for one. It's something I've struggled with and continue to struggle with when my husband goes off on business trips and I'm the only one home. The difference between me and Dominique? I actually enjoy cooking.

What I enjoyed about Dominique's cooking journey is that it really is a journey. We see her start with meals of peanut butter and red wine. While I've never had quite that particularly combo I've had similar meals. She branches out into cookies and muffins. We see her comb the web for recipes. She does, eventually, embrace the slow cooker.

I lived alone for a long time and I sympathize with her because cooking for one person is hard. Really hard. Well, kind of. The things is when you are cooking for yourself it become a very personal exercise. It makes some people more daring about what recipes they'll try. It made me less so. I knew I'd be stuck with whatever creation I concocted and well, I have issues throwing out food unless it's really, really bad.

In my experience, there aren't a lot of good cookbooks out there for singles. Again, I think it ties back to the very personal nature of cooking only for ourselves. We may have different tastes for what we'll eat when we're alone. I'd get cookbooks from the library by the truckload and if I was lucky I'd find one or two recipes I'd actually want to try. Most often I didn't. I never did find a cooking for one cookbook that I'd buy. I did, eventually, find a cooking for two cookbook that I quite like, which is an improvement over the six or more servings in many standard cookbooks.

chocolate chip cookies

Image Credit: Brian Richardson

Unlike Dominique, I not willing to eat the same thing over and over again. I don't have a sweet tooth either. Her muffin and cookie baking marathons would have just resulted in the baked goods sitting in my freezer for far longer than was good for them. For those odd times when I did get a sweet craving I'd usually treat myself to something scrumptious at a bakery.

I do understand her desire to automate dinner. Being the person responsible for everything is exhausting.

By the time I've gotten through all the preparations for cooking -- the scrubbing, the scraping and grating and chopping and rubbing and coating and whatever else is required -- I feel like I've been playing with my food for an hour. I'm tired of it. I've lost my appetite. p. 182

Dominique confesses that she simply does not enjoy cooking. There are certainly days where the last thing I want to do is haul myself into the kitchen, but more often than not I do it. Sure, I do grab take out sometimes but we keep a stash of fast(ish) foods in our freezer. We throw frozen soup or homemade pasta sauce in a pot and let it defrost and simmer. We can usually unearth some veggies in the freezer. Food, for my family, is often how we show our love -- not in quantities but in the preparation of that special dish that is bound to make someone smile. What we tend to forget, is that those people we want to make smile? They can be ourselves.

Have you ever struggled with cooking just for yourself? And confess -- have you ever made a meal out of cookies?

BlogHer Book Club Host Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey and Sassymonkey Reads.

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jthornton306 7 pts

Cooking can certainly be healing - at least, it has been for me. As we read along her branching out and trying new things in the kitchen, I could easily see that if it were me, I'd probably be doing the same thing!

I love to cook - if for no other reason, I love the end result!

jackirenee 5 pts

Heck, I haven't even bothered to cook the cookies and just made a dinner out of the dough. I went through phase of eating alone and generally didn't bother much more than a bowl of cereal or chips and dip. Now that I cook for so many so often, I find cooking a meal just for myself to be exciting. But when you have to do it all the time, not so much fun.

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

jackirenee giggle. There are a few cookie dough diners in the comments of this post. I remember having a college sleepover (yes really) and cookie dough was the primo snack that night.

kemerselis 9 pts

When i lived by myself, there were plenty of chips and cookie nights. I definitely regret a lot of them. I still have not learned the art of cooking for myself but I have mastered tbe confidence to eat out on my own!

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

kemerselis I have had some of the best service EVER dining on my own -- especially in fancier (for lack of a better term) restaurants.

Gretchen Joy 6 pts

Oh my! I can't imagine cooking for one or even two for that matter. I have four children and my husband for whom to cook and while at times it gets to be a cumbersome task, I generally enjoy it. I, like Ms. Browning, love to bake and have on more than one occasion, breakfasted on chocolate chip cookies and coffee, a grand combo meal if you ask me!!

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

Gretchen Joy I've always been more fond of cake for breakfast rather than cookies. ;-)

If you *could* cook for yourself, any idea what meal you'd make?

Gretchen Joy 6 pts

sassymonkey If I ever got to cook for myself I'd make Pad Thai or French Onion soup. Though, usually when eating alone, I opt for sushi and I'm not ready to attempt to fix that on my own anytime soon!! (And we have ice cream cake for breakfast on each of our 6 birthdays! Love that!)

jekecana 5 pts

Gretchen Joy I'm with you! I have 6 kiddos & my hubby to cook for. I think it would be very difficult to cook for less than my small army :) It took me a while to figure out how to cook ENOUGH food but now I don't know how to go back! ha

biogirl 5 pts

Oh I am terrible about cooking for one! I would like to think I would do better if I was eating along more often, but as of now I will just eat a piece of cake, a bowl of cereal or a spoon full of peanut butter mixed with cream cheese icing for dinner if my husband and baby aren't around to make me be a little more reasonable!

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

biogirl There's nothing wrong with being a bit unreasonable from time to time. ;-) I think that if you ate along a lot you'd find it less satisfying to eat that way all the time though.

Gretchen Joy 6 pts

biogirl Oh I grew UP on spoonfuls of peanut butter!! I like to dip it in chocolate or vanilla, but would definitely not turn my nose up at cream cheese icing!

birdonbramble 6 pts

I love baking but I must confess that I don't enjoy cooking quite as much. I'm rarely cooking for one these days, but my old method for dealing with this issue was to make food that could be morphed into something else as it became leftovers (leftover rice became rice cereal or rice pudding for the next day, leftover stir-fry became the stuffing for an omelet, etc. -- this way you don't get so sick of the same foods!)...

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

birdonbramble I think that is a really smart way to cook, whether you are cooking for one or more than one. I really do. It's a definite skill... one I'm still working on developing.

labuenavida 11 pts

When my husband's gone for work, I often find myself eating crackers and fancy cheese for dinner instead of a REAL meal. That said, I've more recently made an effort to try and make Chicken Curry whenever he's gone--it's something that my daughter and I both love, but he absolutely hates the smell of!

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

labuenavida I do like a good fancy cheese and crackers dinner. Or sometimes a fancy dip and crackers dinner. ;-)

Love that you use it as an opportunity to make something you and your daughter love but he doesn't.

Gretchen Joy 6 pts

labuenavida At our home, we call those "Daddy's gone dinners."

Jannabee 5 pts

I can pretty much make a meal out of anything. I hate to cook so if I can get away with not cooking and finding something to eat, I will. Once I had children, I realized that my methods would no longer work. We do eat at lot of sandwiches. I hate coming up with new meals all the time and I can never please everyone!

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

Jannabee I can't remember who it was but someone told me that you really can't please everyone at the table all the time. They told me that each meal should have one dish that everyone at the table will eat but after that, they are on their own. I kind of liked it and try to apply it when I'm entertaining.

bourriquet76 5 pts

I've never really lived alone, so I've never had to cook for just one. However, I've noticed, especially when my husband was gone for four months with military training, that it's hard to cook without another adult around. I struggled just to feed two kids and myself, too many leftovers, we all got tired of eating the same things, etc. I saw where Brown was coming from, it's tiring and doesn't feel worth the effort. (Since I do have the kids, I had to persevere, they do insist upon eating!)

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

bourriquet76 Question -- do you meal plan? I've been doing it for a year now and I've noticed we're doing much better at eating a variety of different things. It's also easier to try new recipes when we know exactly when we are going to try them. We can see when we're getting ruts and boost ourselves out of them.

scaron 5 pts

Back when I was single, cooking for one was tough. Actually, it wasn't because I rarely did it. I was more likely to microwave something or get takeout. Those weird frozen twice baked potato things? A favorite of mine. And pierogies with salsa. Oh and instant mac and cheese. But cooking? I just skipped that.

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

scaron While I had one when I lived alone... we haven't had a microwave for a year and a half. If you ever know someone who wants to cut quick processed meals out of their diet -- it's a lot harder to make them when you can't nuke them.

tanyab1976 5 pts

While baking and cooking are definite passions for me, if I had to cook/bake just for myself I admit I'd rarely eat a meal. It would depress me to make a meal and sit down by myself to eat it.

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

tanyab1976 Ok, I'm going to bug you a little bit about this. Because I've heard similar things from friends who could not imagine going to a restaurant, movie, etc by themselves.

Why would it depress you? Why are you not worth it?

kristendom 5 pts

I hate cooking. No, really, I HATE it. So I have made meals out of cookies, ice cream, and still a favorite - cereal. I struggle more with cooking when I'm trying to find something healthy for my son to eat (frankly, he prefers ice cream for dinner, too). So I guess I can definitely appreciate both yours and Domonique's willingness to stretch your boundaries and really find a way to prepare meals vs. snacking on whatever is convenient. I'm still looking for the will and energy to do that.

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

kristendom I do find if I make the effort I do have more energy to it. I think it helps that I frequently crave vegetables. ;-)

DinaRuns 8 pts

I like to cook but do struggle with cooking for one. My husband goes to school and has one night where he gets back pretty late. After my workout and a shower, it's usually pretty late so I have a go to of salad and a sandwich or maybe some eggs. That is often the amount of effort I am willing to put in on my dinners for one.

I will confess to having done wine and a French or Italian bread with an olive oil/balsamic vinegar combo for dinner. Would only ever eat that alone.

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

DinaRuns I've had that dinner before. Sometimes I really jazz it up and have some cherry tomatoes on the side. ;-)

tiaras-and-trucks 17 pts

I'm a lazy cook when it's just me. My favorite is soup and bread or cheese and bread. Usually it's the kids and me, though, if Ryan isn't home, so I make them something I know they'll eat, like breakfast for dinner and just call it a night.

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

tiaras-and-trucks I get lazy. I'm lazy sometimes. ;-)

erin.etheridge 7 pts

Since my husband left yesterday for two months of Navy boot camp, I've been discovering all sorts of things I didn't think I did as one half of a couple until the other half was gone. I actually enjoy cooking. It's kind of therapeutic for me (although I don't do it all that often.) In some of my lower moments these past couple of days adjusting to being on my own, the idea of cooking has been soothing.

It's something that occupies my time and my mind, and results in something delicious (hopefully) with a sense of some small accomplishment.

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

erin.etheridge I hope your husband does well at boot camp. Go Navy!

I think there can be something very gratifying in taking care of yourself by cooking good meals. As much as it can be a pain in the butt sometimes it makes me feel good when I feed myself well.

Florinda 5 pts

I enjoy cooking when I can spend time on it, which means I don't do a lot of it these days. I do NOT like cooking anything that takes longer than 30 minutes after a day at work and an hour or more driving home, so if I can prepare something ahead of time that just needs reheating, I'll do that. The tricky part is getting my husband to NOT think of foods prepared in advance as "leftovers."

I cooked for myself for the 3.5 years between my divorce and moving in with my second husband, but I'd only do it a couple of times a week. Like Dominique, I don't mind eating the same thing for several days in a row, so I had no problem with cooking dishes that made 4 to 6 servings (because it IS hard to find decent recipes for just one person!). At the same time, I was probably a little more adventurous about cooking then than I am now, because I didn't have to please anyone but myself.

labuenavida 11 pts

Florinda I totally relate. When I worked full-time, I HATED cooking. There was just nothing enjoyable about trying to throw together something healthy and balanced after working all day!

Now, I've learned that I actually love cooking, but only when I can do the "cooking-while-slowly-stirring-and-sipping-on-a-glass-of-wine" variety.

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

Florinda What about a slow cooker? Does that count as leftover? ;-)

mytemperedtantrum 6 pts

Yes! I was a single mom for 9 years - just me and my daughter. When she was a baby and a toddler, it was so hard to find the motivation to actually cook. It got easier as she got older. Now, with a husband and a second child, I'm definitely cooking more often. And yes, we've made a meal of cookies! And ice cream...

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

mytemperedtantrum You should combine the cookies and ice cream and make a meal of homemade ice-cream sandwiches. ;-)

AMagicMommy 5 pts

I loathe cooking! I'd much rather bake! So if im dining alone chances are it's something quick, cereal, pb&j, or fast food. Lucky for me the hubs likes to cook so I don't mind picking up th slack on days he's not up for it. I guess for me being the mom of four, cooking is just one more thing I have to accomplish during a day that already doesn't have enough hours.

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

AMagicMommy My friend who doesn't like cooking? Prefers to bake as well. She likes that baking is very precise, which is why I like it less than cooking.

Well, that and I don't have much of a sweet tooth.

HonestAndTruly 6 pts

Ok so first of, YES, I admt it. I have made a meal of cookies before. Or cookie dough. Or maybe both. I'm not proud.

That said, I did struggle with cooking for 1 when I was single, though I fall into the camp of a) I enjoy cooking b) I can eat the same thing over and over and c) I love to entertain, so I can feed other people. That said, I do a lot of non recipe cooking, which helps a lot. That takes practice though, and there were times when I just couldn't face eating something one more time, which was when it moved into the freezer. Once it had lived in the freezer for long enough, I could finally justify throwing it out... if I hadn't managed to eat it.

I get her challenge, but fortunately I found solutions, too! (And making cooking dough and freezing it into little balls so you can bake just a few at a time is another great solution, if you can stop yourself from just eating the dough....)

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

HonestAndTruly If you can stop yourself from eating the dough -- ha!

Non-recipe cooking -- I usually start off with a recipe and then after I'm comfortable with it I play with it. Which is great except when your friend asks for your recipes for lasagna and then think you are hoarding it as a secret. I don't measure. I just throw things together until they look/taste right.

demandablue 12 pts

I kind of cook for one all the time because my children and husband refuse to subsist on my diet. They only thing we all agree on is Kale. Thank goodness it's like... the most healthy thing a person can eat.

I love cooking, too. When I'm alone and have the time to make a complicated recipe, I enjoy doing it, even if I'm the only person eating it.

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

demandablue As long as I'm in the mood for cooking I enjoy it. I do find that when I force myself to cook I'm usually happier with the results than if we grabbed take out... unless I was craving something in particular. (I'm looking at you Chinese food.)

JennaHatfield 59 pts

I don't even like sweets, but yes, I've made a meal out of cookies.

Also: My Grandma has been struggling with the cooking-for-one thing ever since my Grandpa passed away. She never cooked for one, never lived on her own. It's been hard for her. I didn't live along for LONG after college, but I did enjoy cooking for myself. I just didn't enjoy cleaning up the mess. ;)

labuenavida 11 pts

JennaHatfield Oh yeah...I enjoy cooking a lot more when I know that someone else will be pitching in with the dishes!

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

labuenavidaJennaHatfield I'm with both of you. I enjoy cooking a lot more now that my husband cleans up the mess. (It's our deal - I make yummy food, he cleans up.)

Angie_HomeGrown 5 pts

If you plan to have every meal cooked fresh - yes, I can see where that would be difficulty. The answer to cooking for one might be making larger meals and freezing or canning meals to have for later. Cook for one meal and put away three or four future meals. This works for most foods including cookies. Freeze the dough or freeze them after baking.

sassymonkey 141 pts moderator

Angie_HomeGrown It know someone who does that a lot. @moonsoar posts a lot on my weekly meal plan posts (in the loving food group) and she does a lot of large batch cooking and freezing.

For me it depended on what it was. I always had a lot of frozen pasta sauce and soup in the freezer.

showmyface 5 pts

I honestly have more trouble cooking for two than cooking for one. My husband isn't a fan of leftovers - he wants more variety in his life. This means a lot of small preparation for meals. Things like two portions of meat on the grill, a small side. I love to cook, but I'm also fine with eating the same thing over and over. It's simpler and more time efficient.

Dominique's choice of peanut butter and red wine really puzzled me. I've tried many wines and I've yet to find one that I feel goes well with peanut butter. Yuck!