Do You Act From Love?

I didn't understand her intentions, as some other readers have said. Lucy always seemed moody and insecure. I can understand her feelings of stress and acting from that instead of love. It's difficult to act from love when stress and anxiety permeates from other areas of life.

Lucy was all over the place and her motivations were difficult to assess. She always seemed on edge and cranky. I did like the contrast between her cranky dissatisfied self and Lucy at the end of the book with her life so seemingly well wrapped up. I think she was acting out of a fear of love which at times caused her anger. Once she settled down into love she seemed much more contented.

I didn't really understand Lucy's motivations either, which is why I had such a problem with this book. I don't do anything unless I know exactly what I'm doing, so I don't identify very well with people who don't think things out as thoroughly as I do.

That said, I do, especially with my family, find myself saying or doing things that might not be in everyone's best interest. Am I doing it out of love or anger? I don't know, but like Lucy, I sometimes feel the need to do SOMETHING, even if it isn't the right thing.

it's going to be my mantra for 2012!

I try, it's hard, but it's always a learning process, especially with kids. Two days in a row, one of mine spilled food in the car, because they weren't paying attention. It's really hard to act out of love with food everywhere, yet, at the same time, trying to remind myself, they are kids, things happen, etc. Sigh, parenting is difficult.

This reminds me of a quote I once heard (I wish I knew who had said it) that all actions are taken out of either love or fear. In this case, I think Lucy was afraid that things were changing without her and that she had no say in the changes that were happening to her family. But then again, I also think that fear and anger are very similar emotions.

I try to act out of love as much as I can, but I realize that more often than not I'm acting without any motivation at all - I'm mostly on autopilot. I don't want to be that way. I want to be more conscious of what I'm doing and know why I make the decisions I do. If there can possibly be anything magnanimous in my actions, I'd like to do it.

I often find myself acting out of anger without even realizing it. Until after. One of my New Years goals (starting now) is to check myself before I get to that point.

I try to act out of love, and for the most part, I think I do. I don't get really angry very often. I'm a pretty calm person. But, I tried some hormone therapy and went on testosterone for a while...and wow, found myself flying into anger so much easier! It was wild!

I think I act out of love, but I react out of anger a lot of times. My intentional acts are usually lovingly motivated, but my unintentional acts that are more reactions to the world around me or someone else's actions are usually anger motivated. It's just human nature I think. I think it's great to discuss it like this though, it's definitely making me become more aware of my motivations by reading through all of the comments.

I think that I act more out of love. For me when I am feeling anger I tend to bottle it up more inside and punish myself versus taking it out on others. I actually think I need to act out of anger a bit more to create a balance!

While I TRY to act out of love, I'm often quicker to act out of anger. I agree with the other commenters that the two are other intertwined.

I think I act out of both ~ anger and love ~ often confusing even me! Too much passion, perhaps. *Smile!*

~Virginia

I think you get the angriest at those you love the most, because you're so invested in them. So anger and love are intricately blended! With children, we (I) must be careful to respond with love, because if they see a lot of anger, they learn anger. If they see love, they learn love. I once heard that if an adult is angry with a child, it's the adult's problem -- as adults, we (again, I) must learn to temper our anger with a lot of love when dealing with our children. It's hard, no doubt, but it's most certainly worth the effort.

I agree love and anger are often intertwined -- especially when someone is motivated into action by their emotions. I like to think that I act most often out of love. When I feel myself acting out of anger (or jealousy) I try to make myself take a moment to think about the bigger picture of the consequences of my actions. Most of the time I fairly successful -- but every once in awhile -- I don't remember to think before I act -- and I'm not as happy with the results.

Reading about Lucy and how she reacted to different situations I could totally relate to her. While I try not to act from anger I think sometimes anger can often be the motivating factor. I do think, however, acting from love is something we all do often, especially when you have children. A lot of actions are out of love for my children and husband.

I think, I THINK, I mostly try to act out of love. But you're right, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. What about those times when I act out on behalf of my loved ones (like my five-year-old son)? Am I acting out because I love him? Or because I'm angry someone hurt him? Or both? And how do you tell the difference? I guess that would be my question - is there always a difference?

It's definitely something I'm working on. Of course I act out of love often, but when I am treated poorly, it is much easier to let my temper take over instead of taking a deep breath and thinking about what good can actually come from me speaking out of anger. It's something I've been working on and assume I will be working on for some time to come.

I love this question because it's something I'm learning a lot about as I grow older. I used to be really good at acting out of anger, and at times I can still pull off a whopper of a reaction. But I've come to understand that about myself and find it so much more peaceful to be aware of my emotions and try to have better balance.

The interesting thing about this book is that, in the beginning at least, it seemed as though Lucy was acting out of boredom. That's a whole other ball of wax...

You hit the nail on the head. I think she didn't know what her motivations were and to be honest with you at times I found that very annoying while reading the book. I wanted her to be more assertive but towards the second half of the book I realized that her attitude was perhaps a defense mechanism. She had been hurt enough by the situation and I don't think she could handle any more pain. Towards the end I made peace with her actions and felt better about how she reacted.

I think everyone has the best of intentions of always acting from love (I know i do) sadly acting from anger in the heat of the moment does occasionally rear it's ugly head.

I wish I could say that I acted from love more than anger, but it's something I am working on. It is definitely easier to act out of anger, but like lifeneedsedits said, sometimes the anger comes out of love. When Lucy would say something and immediately regret it, I recall so many times in my life when I acted like that and regretted it because I knew how harsh I sounded. Like I said, it's something I'm working on -- and I'm continuing to learn, it is so much more satisfying when you act out of love.

I like to believe I mostly act from love. When I act out of anger, it's often out of being hurt deeply or fear that one I love could've been hurt. I couldn't really tell what Lucy was acting out of... except maybe her own confusion. I found it hard to relate to her a lot of the time.

Sometimes the reason you wind up getting so angry is BECAUSE of love. It's difficult to be angry at things you don't care about. I agree that a distillation of feelings is often necessary before opening your mouth, and a little self-awareness goes a long way.

I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by love almost all of the time, but like everyone, anger can overwhelm pretty much everything. Thankfully, anger is usually short-lived, while love lasts the ages. I try my best to act out of love, but it is challenging to say the least. Anger is the easy path.

I was often confused by Lucy's motivations, but found her to be frustrated more often than not. (except for her vandalism) Her world was changing - and had been for some time -physically and otherwise. I think she expected to walk into her Lake of Dreams town and it not have aged. So she was both frustrated and scared, and yes, sometiems angryl. And I most certainly REACT to anger, but I'd like to think that when I plans thing I act with love.

I think I get caught up in my feelings too much and sometimes don't allow myself to act from love instead of anger. But I love the message of the book about learning to act in love can bring you much more peace.

Acting from love is something I like to think I have been working on the past few years. Though acting from anger over love is not as much my issue, acting from fear is. I try daily to choose love over fear, whether it's with big decisions, or little things, which has really helped me to overcome a lot of my anxieties.

I tend to act. Be it from love or from anger. Usually with my kids it comes from love, but sadly with my husband it tends to come from anger. In the day to day it is difficult to stop, take a breath and choose my words wisely. I didn't have problems with Lucy's search, if it were me, and I had the time I think I would have pursued the mystery too.