Do You Ask For Help?
One of the things that quickly becomes evident while reading Vanessa Williams' memoir You Have No Idea is that she has a great support system. One of her biggest supporters is her mother and co-author, Helen. It was interesting to read about the pair of them because they get along well, yet in many ways they are opposites. Vanessa knew she could ask for help when she needed it. Helen wasn't someone who really ever asked for help. I think I fall somewhere between them.
"My mother never ever asks for help. It's not in her nature. She's tough. She's like steel. If there was a problem, she could handle it. Alone. But this time there was her silent plea to me. I need you here. Help! I can't do this alone. Page 248
There are a lot of factor that go into whether or not I'll ask for help. What am I trying to do? Who am I asking? What are the stakes? I will often refrain from asking for help until I'm at the point when I'm so stressed I'm about to have a complete and total meltdown. (In case you are wondering, it is similar to a toddler's tantrum but with less screaming and flailing and with more crying and wine.) I often feel like I shouldn't have to ask for help, that I should be able to do things all on my own. I don't like having to ask for help and I judge myself harshly for it.
And that's just silly. I don't feel this way about other people. I'm always happy to ask help out others if I can and I don't think there's anything wrong with them asking for my help. Sometimes I am kinder to others in that regard than I am to myself.
Are you good at asking for help?