Do You Fit In Or Do You Stand Out?

Book Discussion

One of the first things that we learn in Stella Duffy's Theodora: Actress, Empress, Whore is that Theodora is not like the other girls. She does not fall in line. She does not obey. She's a fighter. She stands out when she is supposed to fit in. It is both her greatest strength, and her greatest weakness.

"You don't fit because you don't want to. You wouldn't want to just be pretty, you'd rather stand out, make them laugh." p. 13

I've never been particularly good at fitting in, particularly in junior high. I had too many strikes against me to feel security among the popular kids. I was a brainy bookworm that wore glasses and did not wear anything close to resembling the right clothes. I hovered around the edges of the popular until one day I realized that the kids around me weren't really my friends and were unlikely to ever be so. Today we'd generously call them frenemies. I walked away and found myself some new friends.


stand out

Image credit: vvvracer

At the same time, I wasn't, and am not, quite like Theodora who wanted to stand out. Admittedly, for her it was partly for survival. She didn't have Comito's talent or Anastasia's sweetness. She took risks that made her stand out, that made the crowd love her. She was brave and bawdy. But I can't say that I didn't understand her desire for attention, for someone to see her. It helps to remember that when Theodora was performing on the main stage is the same age we were in middle school. Didn't we all just want someone to pay attention to us?

Do you think you stand out or fit in? Do you ever wish you fit in or stood out more?

BlogHer Book Club Host Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey and Sassymonkey Reads.


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