Do You Put Your Dreams On Hold?
By Karen Ballum on March 15, 2012
Ace Jones, the heroine of Stephanie McAfee's Diary of a Mad Fat Girl often made me laugh when I was reading the novel. She's feisty but under that tough exterior shell she's really hiding a soft, vulnerable heart. As much as Ace's antics made me laugh there were times when she made me sad. Like of many of us, Ace put her dreams on hold because she was scared of failing.
Ace is passionate about art but she was also frightened of failure. It was safer for her to hide herself away and teach high school level art classes than it was for her to risk failure. It was easier to encourage her students passion for art than to risk failing at her dreams.
Now don't jump on me. I don't believe that those that can't do teach. Those that can do make the best teachers and I've been lucky to have those kinds of teachers. Ace, however, didn't have a passion for teaching like she did for art. I know that teaching gave her the opportunity to hide from her dreams because she told us so in the book.
That's the thing about Ace -- she puts on a really good front. If you suggested to any of her friends that she was scared they'd laugh at you. Loudly. I think we all know an Ace. They hide their fear well.
I've often wondered if I was lucky in that I didn't have a great dream that I wanted to pursue. What if I have wanted to be a published author? Or a painter? Or a judge? Or even a member of the Cirque du Soleil? The only dream I really had as a kid was that I wanted to go to college. Yes, my dream was to learn and I wear those nerd stripes with pride. I learned a great many things in college -- probably just as much outside the classroom as inside of it. Learning is something that I can continue to do thanks to life, libraries and the internet.
But what I had really wanted to do those other things? Would I have had the courage to pursue them? It's a hard question to answer. I'd like to think that I'd at least have tried but there are very real things that can hold us back. Thank goodness I never wanted to be in the Cirque du Soleil because I don't think any amount of training could overcome my lack of coordination -- I'm the person who trips going up up the stairs.
In Ace's case, and I believe this is true for so many of us, the real thing holding her back was her fear of failure. She was letting her fear win.
Do you let fear hold you back from doing something that you are really passionate about?
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