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Hi, I'm Karen Ballum, but I'm better know around the web as Sassymonkey. I live in Ottawa, Ontario -- Canada's national capital. (No, I do not li...

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Do You Like Your Name?

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In Eleanor Brown's The Weird Sisters, the three sisters felt defined by their names and their roles within the family dynamic. Due to being named after characters in Shakespeare's plays, the sisters felt that their roles had been chosen for them.

We wear our names heavily. And though we have tried to escape their influence, they have seeped into us, and we find ourselves living their patterns again and again. p. 63

I've been thinking a lot about names lately. Many of my friends are pregnant or know someone who is so there's been a lot of baby name talk. A friend whose name has a slightly unusual spelling and who goes by her second name due to family tradition has decided she wants neither for her child. I am, of course, ever helpful by suggesting names that I've made up and that I know she will never name her child just to make her laugh.

Credit: Quinn Dombrowski

Despite my silliness, I know that names are serious business. My name was not supposed to be my name. My mother had another chosen for me but then some neighbours named their child that name. (I do not believe it was intentional, just bad timing for my mother.) My eldest sister was given the task of coming up with a new name and well, given that she was a fairly young teen I'm glad she settled on Karen and not something a bit more wacky. (Think about what names you thought were awesome when you were 13. See what I mean?) My name and I have gotten along really well. The most I have to complain about is that I went to school with a fair number of other Karens in addition to Darrens and Erins which mean you really have to pay attention in class or you'd be answering when you weren't actually called on... a bit of a hazard for someone who was prone to daydreaming.

Unlike the Andreas sister, I never felt like my name defined my role. Does it define me? Perhaps, though I know a number of other Karens, even had one as a roommate, and I can't say I've noticed any Karen-specific qualities about us.

Do you like your name? Do you feel it defines you?

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flutie.mcd 6 pts

sure i like my name; but i've never liked the way it sounds together with my last name. because it ends with an "m" and my last name starts with an "m" it always sounds like it runs together. i've always toyed with the idea of changing my name, but i also kinda feel like the name that is given you is kinda sacred.

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 flutie.mcd When I was younger I used to want to change my last name - usually to my mother's maiden name. I ended up growing attached to it in the end though. 

Cheney 14 pts

Well, my name is Cheney. I have never really liked my name - still don't, actually. There were a rough eight years when I kept hearing things like "Ya like the dick, Cheney?" "Don't shoot me in the face, Cheney." "Are you Dick Cheney's granddaughter?"  Yeah. There was that. I guess I just always wanted to blend in, I never wanted anything to stand out, but I was saddled with something that is always a conversation starter.  Oh, well. 

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 Cheney Yeah, I can see how that would be really annoying.  I can't imagine those eight years were a lot of fun for you. 

thetreehugger 5 pts

This is such an interesting topic to me.  I loved the article and reading the comments!

 

Growing up, I wanted my middle name (Christina) to be my first name.  It sounded prettier to me than my first name, Jennifer.

 

Now, my name is me.  With my last name thrown in the mix too, Webb, I get lots of interesting nickname combinations.  All through high school, I think everyone including my teachers thought my first name was Jennifer Webb because no one said my first name without using my last name.  All of the nicknames are unique to different times in my life.  For my first year in college I was jcwebb and even now when I talk to someone from my freshman year they still call me that.

 

I've grown to love my name and my numerous nicknames.  It is a part of me.  It may not necessarily define me, but it's definitely a part of me.  I will never change my name, not even my last name if I get married.  My name has too much meaning to ever be changed.

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 thetreehugger I get you. I didn't change my last name when I got married, though it's never been as tied to my first name as yours is. I just felt I wouldn't feel like me if I changed it. 

allicatcook 8 pts

I do like my name. I also have several friends who are pregnant, and deciding on a name seems so daunting!

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 allicatcook It does. I know my friend worried about it a lot but they are happy with the name they have chosen. Now they are just waiting for the baby to come! 

Cate from Sweetnicks 5 pts

I do like my name, but more heavily weighing on my mind is the fact that my four-year-old daughter has recently announced that SHE doesn't like HER name, Madeline.  Hoping it's just a phase, because, of course, I totally love her name!

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 Cate from Sweetnicks I'm sure it's probably just a phase. I know I went through one where I didn't like my name, as have many others in this thread. 

WhatTheJules 5 pts

I love my name "Julianna". I was always annoyed that, according to family legend, my father misspelled it on my birth certificate, adding an extra 'n'. I am over it. I also love my nick name "Jules". I don't even mind saying I love them, I made neither up, they were gifts I am grateful for. Thanks Mom, thanks friends. Now, for that middle name "Lee". Yuck. 

I am grateful that I was given a giant name to grow into. A queen's name, a beautiful name.

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 WhatTheJules lol My husband's name is Lee and it's my sister's middle name. ;-) 

lindseyallyn 6 pts

I like my name. What I used to really dislike was my middle name, Allyn. It sounded too much like a boys name when I was little. Now I love it and use it as part of my user name everywhere I sign up. I think it is unique and not a typical spelling. 

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 lindseyallyn I like Allyn. :) 

z0mbiekitty 6 pts

I do like my name (Samantha). My parents were hoping for a boy, and when I popped out, they came up with "Sam" as the closest thing they could get to a boy name Haha I'm glad they went that route instead of just going ahead and giving me a boy name! 

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 z0mbiekitty I went through a phase where I wished I had been named Samantha. :) 

Indigo 11 pts

I don't mind my name, I wish it were less common for women my age. I was one of a zillion with the same name growing up -- oh thank you Days of Our Lives for my name. My mother wanted my middle name to be my first name, my dad said no way. 

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 Indigo giggle. Days of our Lives. I think that's kind of awesome. 

jbhops 6 pts

I love my name. I wouldn't trade it for anything. It defines me and has no relation to anyone in our family. I'm an original. :)

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 jbhops There's a lot to be said for originals. :) 

ToscaSac 5 pts

I like my name. It is unique like me. I still have not met another person with my name although it is famous and social media is making the world smaller and flatter. My name is a blessing.

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 ToscaSac Since my name is rather common I find it fascinating that you've never met anyone else with your name. 

athomewithginac 5 pts

I like my name and I never really understood how someone could not like their name. I don't think it defines me in any way because that would mean my 10 extra pounds defines me in some way too (which I don't particularly like!).

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 athomewithginac I know a few people who were teased horribly as children because of their names. I can totally see how people could not like them. 

See Jamie Blog 5 pts

I do like my name. I was named after my dad (I'm Jamie; he's Jimmy). At the time, my name was pretty unique, especially for a girl, but a few years later it grew in popularity. Does it define me, though? It's just part of who I am, like my eye color or hair, etc.

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 See Jamie Blog I love that you were named after your father. (Though I'm glad I was not - neither of his names lend themselves to nice girl names.) 

Sandy D 5 pts

My name never seemed to have fit my personality. I'm bubbly and dramatic and Sandra just sounded so boring! However, I've grown to love it as I've gotten older. I use to want to be called Regan. Don't ask why!

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 Sandy D I like the name Sandra and none of the Sandras I've ever met have been boring! 

thedailyjulie 5 pts

When I was growing up, I wanted more than anything for my name to be Jennifer. I have no idea now why I picked Jennifer but it just sounded so beautiful to me. Much better than boring ole Julie. Now, I love my name. I thinks it's classic and simple. Though, I don't feel my name defines me, it is certainly part of my identity.

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 thedailyjulie I went to school with a LOT of Jennifers and I often wondered if they ever wished they had a different name. 

labuenavida 14 pts

I did dislike being named Meredith growing up--it was always a name that people couldn't spell, or used to tell me wasn't spelled correctly. However, as I grew up, I realized that it means "keeper of the ocean", which actually describes me perfectly. I'm totally one of those people who feel like they've dried up if they haven't been in a lake or a river recently! 

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 labuenavida I hear you on the need for being near water. I grew up on an island. If I can't get to water somewhat regularly, even if I just see if from the car as we drive by, I get twitchy. 

Not Like a Cat 11 pts

My name is OK. I didn't like it much when I was a child--I wanted to be Elizabeth, or possibly Theresa, but mostly Elizabeth, which I thought was the most wonderful name in the world--but I've grown to accept that it is Julia. No room for cool nicknames. No changed of a mysterious or gender-anonymous nickname. No way to change my nickname to suit my mood. Just Julia. Always Julia. Staid, like me. But now I'm glad it isn't Elizabeth. I think. ;)

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 Not Like a Cat No Jules? Or is that not considered a cool nickname? 

 

I went through an Elizabeth phase too. I think in part because it is a lovely name but it's also a name that allows itself a wide variety of nicknames. 

Love Invents Us 5 pts

I don't dislike my name, but I have never felt it suited me very well.  It is more of a girls name than a woman's and I've always felt it had the ring of the cheerleader about it.  I don't think of it as defining me, although it is my name and a name is important.  I guess I like the fact that if you learn of my name before you meet me, you may imagine someone entirely different than the me who shows up.  A kind of a "don't judge a book by its cover" way of defining.

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 Love Invents Us I find it interesting how we (we as in our society) typecast people by their names. 

JewelsD 30 pts

I always liked my name- Julie- because my grandfather named me after my grandmother (Julia). I always wished it was Julia, but his nickname for her was Julie, so that made it even more special. My sister wanted me to be named Donna. I do wonder if I'd have been different with a different name.

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 JewelsD Aw, I loved that you were named after your grandmother's nickname. 

write 2 the point 6 pts

I have not liked my name in a long time. In fact, I have always wished that my middle name Anne was my given name rather than Karen. I think much of it has to do with my ex-husband telling me that my name sounded unfeminine and harsh. So I don't know--maybe one day I will like it again--my current husband just calls me sweetie and I like that!

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 write 2 the point From one Karen to another - your ex can suck it. lol Karen is not harsh or unfeminine. ;-) 

bereccah 24 pts

I like my name, Rebeccah. I didn't use to because I grew up in the 80's when it seemed that everyone else was named Heather, Tiffany, Jennifer, etc. But now I really like it, especially the unusual spelling - makes me think of bookends, and since I love symmetry, that makes me happy. :-)

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 bereccah Oddly I don't think I went to school with a single Tiffany. We had a lot of Heathers, Melissas and Jennifers but a few Receccas too - none of them had the "h" though. 

mdelacruz 5 pts

I love my name.  Always have.  I am pretty sure my mom named me after St. Monica.  St. Monica prayed unceasingly for her son, St. Augustine who has a pretty amazing story.  He was truly a man of questionable morals and ended up being transformed and giving his life over to good and servitude.  I am not deeply religious, but I do love this story and the uniqueness of the name.

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 mdelacruz It is a lovely story, and I do like the name Monica. :) 

adventuresinbaby 6 pts

I like my first name. I wasn't the biggest fan of my maiden name, due to the infinite ways it could be used to mock me. I always hear, "Kids will find something to mock you about, regardless of what name you choose!" But you know what? Some names just make it way too easy. I've gone by a nickname my whole life, like the Andreas sisters. Perhaps, it's defined me more than I think....I'm still not much of a grownup. 

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 adventuresinbaby Yes to both - kids will always find a way and some names make it easier. I remember we had a regular substitute teacher whose last name was "Garbus" - didn't take long for kids to start calling her Miss Garbage. After a couple of years she changed it. 

SabrinaBlogs 221 pts

I had no problems with my name until my teachers made a big deal about my not having a middle name. Others around me, however, took action. My sister and my cousin didn't like their names and for a while there had created entirely new names. It was the weirdest thing I'd ever seen. My sister has even gone so far as to have her alias tattooed on her chest. Funny, I just never knew it was an option. 

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 SabrinaBlogs I've known a few people who don't have middle names, but I'm surprised your teachers made a big deal out of it. 

corley 5 pts

My first name was my grandmother's maiden name, and my middle name was her middle name, too. I LOVE my unique name and the family history behind it - I feel so connected to my full name that I couldn't bear to change it when I got married. My kids will definitely have names with deep personal significance to me and my husband. 

sassymonkey 839 pts moderator

 corley I've always loved my grandmother's maiden name but it does not work as a first name with either my or my husband's last name, which is kind of a bummer. It does work, potentially, as a middle name. That said, if I ever named a child my grandmother's middle name she'd probably come back from the grave to haunt me - she *hated* it.