How Soon Is Too Soon For Couples Therapy?
By Karen Ballum on November 21, 2012
Since I had not read Bared to You, the first book in Sylvia Day's Crossfire series, I was surprised to find that Eva and Gideon were in couple's counseling. Based on what I had read to that point in Reflected in You, their relationship still seemed young and new. By Eva's own admission, they hadn't been together that long:
"We knew some of the basic cohabitation stuff about each other after spending so many nights sleeping over at our respective apartments. He'd met half of my family and I'd met all of his. But we hadn't been together long enough to touch on a whole lot of the periphery stuff. And frankly, I think we weren't as forthcoming or inquisitive as we could've been, as if we were afraid to pile any more crap onto an already struggling relationships."Page 22.
The more I discovered about Gideon and Eva, both individually and as a couple, the more their couples therapy sessions made sense. There is a tendency to think of couples therapy as being a tool for people who have been in long term relationships and need help getting through a rough patch or to think of it as a last resort before dissolving the relationship. I know that is how I've personally thought about it and I wondered why. I came to the conclusion that it was how I was used to it being depicted in media and fiction.
Yet I still have a hard time imagining any of my past relationships that I would have been willing to go into therapy for that early. Heck, there are past relationships I wouldn't have been willing to go into therapy for after two years. (Hey, I didn't say they were good relationships!) For Gideon and Eva, the therapy sessions were a signal that they were serious about their relationship and they knew it wasn't going to be an easy one to navigate. They knew they needed help and were willing to seek it out. I believe it also showed trust in each other. It made me a bit more hopeful that Eva and Gideon would get their happy ever after.
What did you think of Eva and Gideon's therapy sessions? Would you or have you considered going into couples therapy early in a relationship?
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