Using Texts To Strengthen Your Relationship

Book Discussion

I firmly believe that technology had changed how we do relationships. When we are apart from our loved ones we don't just have to rely on phone calls and letters. We have emails, social media, and yes, even text messages at our disposal as a means to communicate. Sometimes it's easier to put our thoughts out via text than it is in person, as Sophie Morgan discovered in Diary of a Submissive:

"We spent the entire evening tapping messages back and forth. It sounds daft -- I could have nipped around to his flat straight from work to have the conversations we had, but I think both of us felt that talking in person would be too awkward to start with, make it harder to admit those whispered desires that others could so easily judge. I finally realized through that, while I had figured it was pretty difficult explaining to a potential boyfriend that I might like him to dominate me in lots of filthy and mutually pleasurable way, the other way around was even tougher -- as James explained his fears of being seen as a misogynist, an abused or worse." Page 196.

While the conversations I have with my husband via text are not the same as those that Sophie and James had, I understand the underlying message that she's expressing. Sometimes it is easier to have those conversations not completely in real time. If we've had an argument on the phone or before one of us has left the house, it's easier -- and sometimes better -- to send an apology via text than it is to do on the phone. It's not because either of us has trouble verbally apologizing, but sometimes we need the time and space afforded by text (or email) to self-edit and really think about using our words.

text love

Image Credit: Agata Ryszkowska on Flickr

That's not to say that we only use text when we've behaved badly or have difficult things to talk about. We use it for mundane items such as telling the other to pick up milk on their way home. We also get darned silly with our texts. Some our texts are a simple, "You're silly." In fact, we often send those posts while sitting right next to each other on the couch. We are, indeed, easily amused. We also use texts to keep each other updates when we travel separately. The last thing either of us does when we board a plane without the other is to text and say, "Boarded. I love you. XO."

Do you and your loved ones communicate by text?

BlogHer Book Club Host Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey and Sassymonkey Reads.


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