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Hi, I'm Karen Ballum, but I'm better know around the web as Sassymonkey. I live in Ottawa, Ontario -- Canada's national capital. (No, I do not li...

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What Does Your Pen Reveal?

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There is a very brief moment in Jeremy Page's Sea Change that I unabashed love. I'd like to think that most writers would feel the same way, that they'd see themselves in that same place. Guy sits down to write and examines his pen, thinking of all the places it's taken him and wonders where it will take him next.

"Very consciously, he looks at his pen, poised there -- at the dark vein of ink in its center. Since he started this sea journey, the level of ink has shrunk by half an inch as it's unravelled into the long inflected line of his writing. He wonders about the ink left in that pen. What it will reveal to him." p. 146

I liked it so much because it was a moment where I really identified with Guy. It was something I struggled with throughout the book. I don't have children. I haven't experienced deep tragedy. As much as I dearly love being a bit of a hermit, I have no desire to cut myself off from the world like he did. But in that moment, when he stared at his pen, I got Guy.

pen notebook keyboard

Credit: Pete O'Shea

There are times when I am really not certain who is control -- me or the keyboard. There are times were I've sat down to write thoroughly convinced that I knew what a post would be about only to reach the end of it and realize it is nothing like what I thought it would be. Sometimes I fight it, wrestling for control. There are time I let it flow and go wherever it wants to go. And there are times that neither the pen, keyboard nor I am happy with where things have gone. Some days when I am in control but I think, often, that I am not the one steering the ship.

Are you in control? Or is your pen?

BlogHer Book Club Host Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey and Sassymonkey Reads.

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HonestAndTruly 8 pts

I love this concept. It so fits with what I do regularly. I sometimes feel like I know where I'm going, but the end result is so often not what I'd expected. He had a unique way of going about his life - not what I would have done - but, like you, I get this about him.

erinbrowne 9 pts

I'm actually conflicted. Sometimes my mind tries to override what my pen is telling me I should write. It's the hardest struggle for me as a writer.

lifeasaSAHM 8 pts

I loved this bit in the book. I felt like it described exactly what happens to be - I often think of something but my hands tell it the way it should be.

tracikeel 7 pts

I think the pen is a way to unlock thoughts. Obviously, we are in "control" of what we write, but so many times we lock down our own thoughts. The pen is the key that unlocks thoughts and feelings we've locked away.

rainydayinmay 5 pts

When I write, it is definitely my pen. The story goes in directions that consciously I don't direct. i think that is why I find myself feeling most alive when I write. In life, I am what many would deem a control freak... So it makes sense to see that I would be my most human self when writing and throwing all caution to the wind.

megzalzala 6 pts

When I write, I am usually the one in control mostly because when I am on a roll (which happens far too rarely) I think faster than I can type. I like to think of the pen/keyboard as the key to unlocking my creativity. Once I am sitting down and actually writing, my ideas spring to life. And the more often I write, the easier this becomes. :)

Mama4Real 6 pts

For me, I usually start with an idea, and when I sit down and type, it just flows out and twists and turns in ways I never expected. I'm always amazed when I sit back and see what I've written, and wonder, "Where did that come from!??!?"

Rita Arens 66 pts

I am, though I love the idea of the book or the post being in the keyboard or the pen. But I plan out most of the things in my head before I write them, so that analogy doesn't work for me.

MyMommysPlace 9 pts

I think that when the pen is in control, my writing is better. Too often, my head gets in the way.

roses2me 8 pts

My keyboard usually takes the lead, for better or for worse. Some days, I have to just leave some posts alone and unposted knowing that my feelings or emotions needed an outlet that the world does not need to read. I'm thankful for those outlets but realize the need for judgement with regards to public and private thoughts!

jamesandjax 5 pts

My keyboard always takes me to a place I didn't expect. Without fail. That's why I find blogging so exciting!

sarahlipoff 6 pts

My pen often leads the way - but I always back it up :)

The fact that Guy carried around this journal and added to it was heartbreaking to me. I so wanted him to continue writing and writing but also knew if he just put it away, he'd be able to move on.

ewillse 12 pts

Also, I completely identified with the idea of draining the pen being a satisfying way to measure writing. There's just something about seeing the level of ink drop, knowing it's left sentences in its wake. freeing, to measure ink output rather than words written... makes sense, especially when the writing itself is the goal, as Guy is writing, less to generate a thing, than to have the journal help him deal with his loss.

ewillse 12 pts

When it comes to a pen, I write slower than I think... so I stay pretty in control, because my hand physically can't stay on top of what I'm thinking. I get a few seconds delay to mediate.

Typing? I type faster than I think, sometimes. Which doesn't lead to as many mishaps as you'd think. A few good ones though "So I'll see you on Spaghetti?" I meant to type Saturday for spaghetti dinner... it conflated.

Indigo 9 pts

My pen is in control, I've been there so many times just as you said where you thought your post would be about one thing, and then it turned into something else. I suppose you could say that my thoughts are in control and that if just let go, if I just let the words flow my pen will write what it needs to.

I really adored this book, it is probably my favorite that we've read so far. Thank you Jeremy Page for writing such a brilliant story!

erin.etheridge 8 pts

I loved that passage as well. Brilliant observation, beautifully rendered. I admit I don't often write without a particular purpose or end in mind, but whenever I have consciously chosen to let the pen lead, I've always been pleasantly surprised. I should do it more. The thing is, writing freely can be a challenge because you're giving up your conscious control.

Guy obviously had resolved to let go and see where the pen took him, particularly when he acknowledged that purposefully writing Phil's poor leg out of the equation didn't change the overarching, free-flowing narrative of his journal. In that way, Guy was incredibly brave.

victorias_view 1199 pts moderator

My pen has a mind of its own once I pick it up! I have no idea where it will lead me sometimes :)

Ashleigh Burroughs 16 pts

Oh, dear. I thought this was my own personal secret. The keys take over when I plunk myself down on the chair. My brain may start the topic, but my fingers are on their own. I find thoughts that surprise me, ideas that startle me, feelings that make me sigh.

I do love using a pen all the way through to the end of the ink, and wondering where all the words have gone. It still didn't make me identify with Guy, but you are right, Karen, it was a particularly poignant moment.... if he weren't so self-indulgent and unwilling to move on I'd have liked it even more :)

a/b

HeatherF 8 pts

More often than not, it's the pen in control and it's a beautiful moment when it happens. Things come out of me, through the pen when it takes over, that I never knew existed in me. I long for those moments; they are pure bliss.

One Frugal Girl 6 pts

It's definitely a combination of the two, but more often than not my pen seems to have a mind of it's own.