What Does Your Pen Reveal?
There is a very brief moment in Jeremy Page's Sea Change that I unabashed love. I'd like to think that most writers would feel the same way, that they'd see themselves in that same place. Guy sits down to write and examines his pen, thinking of all the places it's taken him and wonders where it will take him next.
"Very consciously, he looks at his pen, poised there -- at the dark vein of ink in its center. Since he started this sea journey, the level of ink has shrunk by half an inch as it's unravelled into the long inflected line of his writing. He wonders about the ink left in that pen. What it will reveal to him." p. 146
I liked it so much because it was a moment where I really identified with Guy. It was something I struggled with throughout the book. I don't have children. I haven't experienced deep tragedy. As much as I dearly love being a bit of a hermit, I have no desire to cut myself off from the world like he did. But in that moment, when he stared at his pen, I got Guy.
There are times when I am really not certain who is control -- me or the keyboard. There are times were I've sat down to write thoroughly convinced that I knew what a post would be about only to reach the end of it and realize it is nothing like what I thought it would be. Sometimes I fight it, wrestling for control. There are time I let it flow and go wherever it wants to go. And there are times that neither the pen, keyboard nor I am happy with where things have gone. Some days when I am in control but I think, often, that I am not the one steering the ship.
Are you in control? Or is your pen?