Would You Do What Ella Did?

I have to be honest, I'm not so sure I would've done what Ella did. Its was very brave of her to stand against the family to do what was right, only to have her heart ripped out. Although I believe letting Paige see the children was the right thing to do.

I really wanted Ella to do the right thing - although as I read on, what the "right thing" was kept changing in my mind.

As I read the book I was hoping that Ella would share the letters she found because even if things didn't turn out her way, at least she could rest with an unburdened conscience. I know that I would have done the same thing because I couldn't live with myself otherwise. But I can't imagine how difficult that must have been!

I don't think that I could be as brave as Ella was! The whole time I was clutching the book, hoping the best for her and the kids but I couldn't help but think that she should have kept it to herself. I do know that it would have been hard to keep in the long run but I tend to think about the now and not so much about the later!

I would hope I'd be brave enough to do what Ella did. I just know that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't. Yet I can't imagine HOW I would do it. I definitely wouldn't do it in court.

I was impressed at Ella's move to be closer to her kids. It was just such a testament to her motherly love for them that she lived in a place she hated just to be physically near them. She lived for those quick weekend visits. How amazing. THAT is motherly love.

I'm really not sure! Part of me says that Ella did what was morally right, although she didn't go about it in the best possible way. But the other part of me says that the outcome was not what was best for the children at that time. Yes, they should know Paige at some point, but right after their father died? Right when they are in most need of stability? It's a tough decision, for sure!

I also would like to think I would do the same thing. The guilt of not telling the court about the letters would absolutely eat me up. Knowing that I was awarded custody because I hid evidence would not suffice. Her decision to move closer, although difficult, was definitely the right decision. Making difficult choices is a part of life. I hope that I too would be able to make the right decision no matter what the outcome might be.

Yes, I like to think I would do the right thing. It's so important to be honest, especially with the children involved in the situation. Keeping the letters hidden would be like a small sore that eventually festers and can't be controlled. It would eat away at your sense of right and wrong. If you expect your children to grow up and follow your lead, you have to be a responsible role model. And, sometimes, that includes making tough choices.

I'd like to think that I'd do the right thing, at least in part because I'd drive myself crazy with the guilt if I knew I'd gotten what I wanted for the wrong reasons. I think Ella was the same way; if she'd been granted custody under false pretenses--and withholding evidence that could have changed the outcome certainly sounds like "false pretenses" to me--it would have eaten away at her. She was trying to bring secrets out into the open, not add to them.

I am in a similar situation as Ella because my child is adopted and during this part of the book I was hoping and praying that she would do the right thing because children deserve to know that their mothers (step, adopted, biological and otherwise) love them. I think there is something about being a parent that gives you more courage to do the right thing even when it's hard because it always has to be about your children's needs more than yours.

I'd like to think I would have done what Ella did with the letters (except not in such a dramatic fashion - I definitely would have talked to my lawyer about it first!) but I don't know. I kept thinking about that the entire book -- would I have done the same thing? I know I would have kept the children together and I would have also moved to be closer to them. One thing that didn't sit well with me was the judge changing his mind just because of the letters - and allowing the children to be uprooted so soon after their father's death -- I'm not sure that is what would have really happened in real life.

We would all like to think we could do what she did, right? And I'm pretty sure the guilt would lead me to it, but throughout the book I kept going back and forth yelling at the pages (yes, it was stressful :) at Ella and then when we learned more about Paige realized that she made the right choice. I was still feeling a bit panicky when she moved to Vegas about whether that was the right choice for her, but I'm glad to see that it all turned out as well as could be.

I would like to hink that I would make the same or similar choices as Ella. She was honest, but still wanted to keep the children and do whatever was best for them. Even when she was offered to be able to have full custody of the boy she said no because that would take him from his sister. I didn't like Paige either at first, but she did have a right to her children and Ella knew that.

I honestly kept questioning MYSELF while Ella was making the decision, and I'd like to say I'd do the right thing, the lawful thing, but who knows.

But about Paige - she could have come back to see the kids, kind of like she "swooped in" at the funeral. It didn't have to be just letters and phone calls.

And what about Joe? Hard not to be mad at him after that.

I think Ella made the absolute right decision by giving the letters to the court. Knowing what we know about Ella's character, by the end of the book she was tired of living with secrets. She was ready to have everything out in the open so everyone could move forward. The burden of carrying the weight of these secrets was too much to bear.

I too was anti-Paige until the letters were discovered. The peer pressure to keep them hidden would've been hard to go against, but I was very glad Ella did tell. I'm not sure what I would've done but hope it would've been the right thing to do.

I also appreciated that she kept the kids together & fought hard {by going to Vegas} to gain Paige's trust & eventually them back.

It has to be hard to go against your family's wishes. That being said, I was rooting for her to confess and was relieved when she did. I don't know if I would have had the strength that she did after all she'd been through, but I hope that I would have been able to tell the truth as well.

I don't think I would have done EXACTLY what Ella did. I think the stress and panic of having the letters and knowing they existed would have gotten to me before going in to the judge. I don't think I would have held it in until being there. I think I would have talked to my lawyer before hand. Maybe if the lawyer had disclosed the discovery of the letters the ruling would have been slightly different.

I don't want to say I'm a better/more honest person than her by telling someone about the letters as soon as I found them. I just don't think I would be able to handle covering a secret that big. It would drive me crazy with anxiety.

At first I was really angry with Ella. I wanted her to be stronger - to stand up to the birth mom who left. But once the letters were uncovered and all the secrets started to come out I was even more angry with her husband for hiding all of this from her. It's something we don't really think about unless faced with that other person being gone. Just reading this made me re-evaluated if there was anything from my past that I had hidden that I didn't think was relevant to my marriage now but really would be important for my husband to know if I was gone. I really liked how it ended because I think that it was the best for the kids. Sometimes it's sad that it takes tragedy for adults to come to their senses...

I would definitely have to do what Ella did. My conscience (sp in the post btw) would demand it. I'd have to live day after day knowing that I went with a "the ends justify the means" philosophy... and that would keep me up at night. And I hope that my children will grow up feeling the same way.

I thought that was such a great question and I thought about it when I read the book. I like to believe that I would do what Ella did. I like sleeping at night and I'm pretty sure keeping something like those letters secret would have haunted me forever.

That's what made the book so great because it really did feel "true" and maybe not in such big way as Ella experienced I can identify with life (at least my life) continuously presenting choices between what's expedient and convenient and what's actually the right thing to do.

My best self would have done what Ella did. Clearly I would have been tempted by the possibility of securing my rights to avoid sharing this knowledge. But omission is lying and someone else would have been in a position to hold this over my head. It was the best choice.

I agree- I wish Ella would have brought up the letters sooner (her holding onto them hurt her case, I think), and I also would have told the court about them. Both because I'm a lawyer (and therefore ethically bound to do so or lose my license to practice law) but because it's the right thing to do. You can't claim to have a moral high ground to keep the kids (as Ella was doing in the beginning- not maliciously, but still was doing) if you get mucked down in the process.

Not an ounce of me would want to do it, but I think I would make myself do it. It's what is right for the kids, maybe not in the short term, but especially in the long term.

Yes, as it was what was best for the kids. Ella went about it in the wrong way without consulting her lawyer, etc. and in turn put everyone through so much more. It was a difficult decision though and hard to judge her.

Yes. It would completely and utterly suck, but I would do it.

It really was the best thing for the kids.

I would hate it, but I would do it. I have one of those overdeveloped senses of righteousness and taking something that precious away from another mother would just eat me up until the day I died.

Once that door was opened, there was no going back. The letters existed -- and it meant that Paige wasn't the lying villain we thought she was ... I would have done the same thing as Ella -- it's the right thing to do, even though it hurt and caused so much pain.