You Don't Have To Be Alone

What Guy has with his journals is both complete-aloneness and a sort of shadowy companionship, where he can soothe some of his lonely feelings, but the companionship he creates is a tightly controlled fantasy. The interaction doesn't ask for much from him, and probably feels safe.

I'm tempted to draw parallels between Guy's journals and the days when Internet-chatting with friends feels like a better idea than going out and about face to face.

There's also a big difference between utter solitude as a life choice, and a few recharging hours or days. If you're alone in one room, and someone else is gone for a few hours but will come back, or you can hear the other person puttering around upstairs, that's the benefits of solitude, but nothing too extreme. Guy has pretty emphatically withdrawn from people, and crawled into his own thoughts.

I think there are times when both scenarios are needed. When trials have come into my life I always need time to just be alone with my thoughts and try to collect myself to face the world. And then there are times when you need to pick yourself up and go on with life for yourself and for others.

I feel both some days. There are times I just need to be alone. Then others when I know I need to be around, or at least talk to, people. I think Guy chose wisely at first in taking time to himself, but then it ended up being part of what held him back in life.

I need to be alone sometimes, but I also value my time with others. When I need to get away or be really alone, i'll head out for a solo run and just think about whatever it is on my mind.

I'm alone in my work every day, and though I don't get lonely because someone to talk to is just a click away, I do feel ready to talk to a real live person at the end of the day. When I am sad I find myself reaching for my friends and family immediately -- I am an extrovert and always feel recharged and better after connecting with someone.

I have been alone quite a bit in this year since my husbands passing and there are moments of it that are treasured, yet I think we all need to find relationships that will help us to balance our lives and not only receive the nurturing we need but also be able to give to others. I don't believe we were created to be alone all the time, I am most certainly grateful for the relationships I have.

I need times to be alone, but find, in times of loss or grief, gathering together with others is the healthiest way to work through my sadness or frustration. Being around loved ones is so beneficial when going through tough times - even when you don't feel like dealing with them. When I'm upset, even though I might not want to, I often call my mom. I know she'll always listen and give me unconditional love.

I need both. I need moments to myself because everyone grieves in their own way, but then I also need to feel the love of the people around me.

That was one of my favorite quotes of the book. I love that he came to that realization. I think in our times of grief and hardship, we have the urge to push people away and think we are better off alone when in reality we need the help of others to overcome our trials.

I need a balance of alone time and time with friends and family. A balance, frankly the opposite of Guy's life. I want people in my life nearly everyday, but I need time by myself to write, think, process and relax. It's a balance and the lack of that balance was one of the saddest things in reading Sea Change.

I need both. I need my family, I need to my children, but I also know that if I don't get that "me" time, I'd be lost. That balance is precious to me, because it allows me to be there, to be "me," for them in ways I would not be able to if it was all-them-all-the-time.

Having a little one who is deminishing the length/existence of naps is hard for me. Even after over a year of parenthood, I feel like I'm constantly adjusting to the change in lifestyle.

I don't want to be isolated, but I do want to be able to CHOOSE to be alone if I'd like. I know it's not a realistic wish since I'm a parent, but it would be nice. As I type, I've got a little child magnet clawing at my leg for undivided attention. Oops! Being on a boat right now in the middle of the ocean sounds pretty appealing!

I am absolutely a person who needs alone time and downtime, to recharge my people-batteries.

I need my alone time...to reach inside and "get" myself. But I do need to reach out to others I think women in general feel the need to "tend and befriend". I could never be alone for the rest of my life...much of who I am is a direct reflection of my relationship with those I love. I have never been afraid to reach out to others.

I think we all need alone time, but an hour or a day seems to work better than a few months alone. By that point I would be in dire need of reaching out!

I am often alone, but never lonely. If I am sick I like to be alone, if I am sad I like to have someone around me. I am never ever afraid to reach out if I need someone or if I think being alone is not helping. I am blessed to have people around me who can give me my space but rush to my side as soon as I need them (especially when I don't yet know I need them). I think what Guy did is a misguided and perhaps dangerous way to cope.

I feel the need to be alone often. December is very stressful, there are so many people who want a piece of my time and honestly, I'd just rather be alone or with my husband and daughter.