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Hi! My name is Zandria, and I live in Washington, DC. I wrote for BlogHer.com for over three years (on topics related to single life and online datin...
 
 
 
 

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Boredom: I Can Fight It

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Most of the big decisions I’ve made in my life were motivated by boredom. I spent a semester abroad in college; moved to California and then back to the east coast; changed jobs after living in the DC area for less than a year -- all because I felt like I needed to do something different. When boredom starts to weigh me down, I start feeling like I need a major change in order to shake things up.

I’ve been wondering if maybe this isn’t the best strategy. Sometimes a major change can yield great, unexpected results -- and I don’t regret any of the ones I’ve made so far -- but it’s not a cure for boredom. (A temporary distraction, sure.)

If I’ve learned one thing, it’s that making a major change isn’t the only answer. I’m not saying I won’t move away from my current location at some point, or that I won’t change my job once I find something better suited for me, but I know I can’t be in a rush just because I feel like it's time to change things right now.

I can’t move away or change my job every time I get bored or frustrated. I’ve done this before, and the one huge lesson I’ve learned is that once you get to that new location, or settle into that new job, the feelings of boredom will come back. I’m the same person whether I live in Virginia, France, or Zanzibar. Humans are adaptable creatures and we tend to get used to changes in our lives very quickly.

Having previously made those big changes, I finally realized that I need to make more of an effort where I am right now. If I wait for a location change or a new job to bring unknown experiences into my life, I’ll always be flitting around from here to there, never satisfied with what I have.

I have to learn to open my eyes and search for experiences that aren’t far from my grasp, that are accessible to people who stay in one place. For me this means learning to be more social (which has been happening), and taking classes so I can keep my mind occupied with new information and experiences (which I’ve also been doing). I’ve been making an effort to do these things, but I know I could do better. Sometimes it’s hard, but I also have to remember that it’s my day job that gives me the ability to pay for all the things I want to do (like the classes I try and trips I take).

Boredom is both good and bad. It can be a huge source of frustration, but it’s also a fantastic motivator. If I didn’t get so irritated with the excruciating sameness of things, if I didn’t feel like I was doing the same thing day after day…what else would motivate me to change the ways things are?

I’m the kind of person who doesn’t like watching TV because I hate commercials; who won’t re-read a book or go out of my way to watch a movie I’ve already seen; who can’t spend more than 15 minutes on an exercise machine at the gym; who wouldn’t dare get on the Metro for my daily commute without some kind of reading material. I know these things about myself, so I take precautions: I get books from the library so I’ll have something new to read, and I make sure I always have one of those books with me when I get on the Metro; I go outside to get exercise (where the scenery changes!) so I don’t have to stay indoors.

Since I’ve learned to do these things automatically in my daily life, it should work the same way with the bigger things, too. I need to keep looking for new challenges so I won’t get to the point where I’m so frustrated that I feel like my only recourse is to do something major.

What do you do in your daily life to keep things fresh and new?

Related Reading:

Jennifer is bored and restless and, like me, she knows she must continue to work if she wants to afford all the things she has planned in the upcoming months. Her post is called “Ramblings of a Restless Hermit.”

Auburn Kat has been in a “major boredom funk lately and just can’t seem to figure out how to

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Zandria 5 pts

That's how I feel, too. If I make a big change, I've still taken "me" along for the ride. I'm still the same person, no matter how many big changes I make in my life. (I mean, of course I'm constantly changing and growing as a person, but IN GENERAL...)

I don't think there's anything wrong with "flitting" (reading multiple books at once, trying new things). I meant "flitting" in context of always trying to make big changes when in reality, maybe the smaller ones would work just fine.

Personal blog: Zandria.us ( http://www.zandria.us )
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness ( http://blogher.com/blog/zandria )

Zandria 5 pts

Funny that you mentioned rock climbing. I've been wanting to do that for a LONG TIME and it just hasn't happened yet. Maybe this week, though -- a friend of mine who knows what he's doing is supposed to take me. I hope! :)

Personal blog: Zandria.us ( http://www.zandria.us )
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness ( http://blogher.com/blog/zandria )

Zandria 5 pts

Checking out local happenings, that is. I've gotten a lot better about finding out what's going in my community -- there was this huge art festival in Old Town Alexandria (Va) this weekend, both Saturday and Sunday. It took place outside, with all these art vendors lined up in the street (they do this once a year, and they shut down a big portion of the main road that goes through this area). It was great. :)

Personal blog: Zandria.us ( http://www.zandria.us )
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness ( http://blogher.com/blog/zandria )

Pam 5 pts

Funny coz it's true. All of my big work changes have been motiviated by boredom. I really don't mind if a job is hard, or stressful, but if I'm bored, it is All Over. It's why I finally went freelance exculusivley. And it might be why I love to travel so much, though even that can have moments of boredom 

Typcially, if I get restless and don't have the resources to do something big, I open the paper, check out the local calendars, and go somewhere I don't know anything about. That's how we ended up at the Railway Museum a few months back, it's how I ended up at Sheep Farmer Days, it's how I end up a lot of places. That's a good thing. It's bad that I can be so impatient with it at vork, though now that I freelance, I know that everything is temporary. Because of that, I'm rarely bored AND I know that when I am, it won't be for long. 

Nerd's Eye View ( http://www.nerdseyeview.com )

Candelaria Silva 5 pts

I learned that I take me with me - so, inevitably my tendency to want to go on to the next thing, change scenery, etc., wouldn't work because, at the end of the trip - there's still me.

I find that flitting from thing to thing: the walk, the books (usually 3 or 4 started at a time), the writing, the work, trying new recipes, seeing new movies, calling and writing friends, etc., helps.  I can still be consumed with one thing for long stretches of time but having other things nearby that I could do helps me tremendously.

blog.candelariasilva.com

Good and plenty!

kazari 5 pts

And although I may fantasise about moving to London, or quittting my job - my husband, my life and my career are all in the place I need to be right now.  So I'm looking at the other stuff (rock climbing, anyone?) to soothe my itchy feet.

And I started a new blog about it.  To make me more mindful of all the things I have in my life now.  And so i make the changes I want, and don't just talk about it.

On the end of my rope. ( http://myrope.wordpress.com )

Zandria 5 pts

What makes some people more prone to boredom, I wonder? It's not like I have a jumpy personality or can't sit still -- I can sit for hours in front of a computer, for instance. But I'm okay because my mind is being occupied.

I'm totally feeling you on the new hobbies and new experiences -- I've found that's the best thing that helps me when I'm feeling antsy. And yes, having travel plans to look forward to is great, too! :)

Personal blog: Zandria.us ( http://www.zandria.us )
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness ( http://blogher.com/blog/zandria )

Kathy333 5 pts

Oh gosh, I could have written your post lol!
I have to say, my wandering ways, my inability to stay still, has not ceased even with kids. In my life, I have always been easily distracted and quick to boredom.

For me, the one thing that has really helped is my ever-loving need to know new information or start new hobbies. For instance, I took up photography pre-kiddos. I took a black and white photo class at the local college, bought a camera, used to explore with the camera and had some great experiences doing this. I've taken up other hobbies as well, and spend a great deal of time reading and learning about them (gardening, bird watching, kayaking, hiking, etc).

Traveling is another great boredom outlet for me. We almost always have trips planned still, as it gives us something to look forward to (my husband is much like me in this aspect!) We map out routes, check out local things to do online, order brochures, etc . . . If we don't have a trip planned then we are thinking about our next great adventure.

Now we are moving cross country again. And in three to five years, moving on from there. I'm excited about going but you know what is weird? I'm excited in many ways because i know it is not permanent and in a few years another adventure awaits lol!!

I don't think this ever ends, but it sure leads to a great, exciting life filled with really colorful tales to tell!

Kathy

Mama Marathoner ( http://www.mamamarathoner.com )

Allbusiness:Working Mothers ( http://www.allbusiness.com/specialty-businesses/wo... )

Zandria 5 pts

There's nothing wrong with having wandering ways -- and I don't think the urge to make major changes will ever leave me, even if I don't act on it -- but I think we tend to forget all the options we have close by that don't take a lot of effort to try. :)

Personal blog: Zandria.us ( http://www.zandria.us )
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness ( http://blogher.com/blog/zandria )

madeintaiwan 5 pts

I also used to have a very short attention span!  Now that I have kids in school, I've had to curb my wandering ways (sigh), but I've realized that there's a lot to be found right where you live.  I like to look for local festivals, shows or markets, hike in the woods, go to the beach, or, if all else fails, go and roam a bookstore for a couple of hours to re-open the mind.  

http://watermelonmama.wordpress.com/