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“I love you but I’m not in love with you”, “It’s not you, it’s me”, or how about “I just need some space”? Yes, we’ve heard them all before – haven’t we? Since launching soyouvebeendumped.com in 2000, thousands of lines have been sent into us from all four corners of the globe.
The line that inspired SYBD was given to me one Sunday night after I’d just flown from San Francisco to Glasgow. It was a delivered by a guy I’d merely dated for a few weeks. We had a lovely romantic reunion that night. I gave him loads of little presents. And later, when snuggled up in bed, he rolls over, sighs and says, “I could totally fall in love with you” which I thought was rather lovely, until he added “but I’m thinking of becoming a priest”. That was it, we were finished who wants to two-time God? (’Sad thing is, he never did become a priest and married the next girl he dated!)
TYPES OF DUMPS
Over the years it seems like dumping lines fall into less than ten categories. Some are harsh, some are martyrs, and still others are confused. There are break-up lines pertaining to families, religion, work and some are just plain unexplainable. What follows are actual lines that have been sent into us.
FAMILY DUMPS
Sometimes dumpers pass the buck and it’s the family that takes the blame. "I can see us together forever, just not with your two kids. If you didn't have them then we would have something." Or “I've decided I love you more as a sister, so I can't see you anymore.” Or “I can't go on. The stress I am getting from my mother is just too much.” Some people blame it on mothers, even more bizarrely, “I know you're not The One - because you leave the lid off the toothpaste and my mother would never do that.”
Or they make a generic excuse about their life and work –being too busy off comes up but I prefer when they cite work in more unusual ways like, "You scientists just don't understand.", "You're the philosopher, you work it out" or "It's a corporate finance thing. That's why it's so hard to do this."
THE HARSH DUMP
Some times a dumper can be down right nasty, “Did you really think we were going to get married and have children?” – was one of the more memorable lines over the years. And the rather classy, “It’s not like if we tried for the rest of our lives, you would get to be better in bed” also stood out. And “I met someone else who doesn't bore me to tears” was a bit of a cracker.
THE MARTYR DUMP
Sometimes people opt to be more of a martyr and make it seem like it’s in your best interest to call it quits, “I am breaking up with you now before you get too attached to me...so I am doing you a sort of favour, aren't I?”. Or “It's just that you might be the one for the rest of my life and I don't want to blow that by going out with you now.” Huh? A better attempt is, “I'm just not ready for you yet! You make me want to be a better man and I have to work at it!”
One similar to this was given to me - “Just give up on me, I am not worth the trouble. I am just going to be alone for the rest of my life.” Just what can you say to that?
THE RELIGIOUS DUMP
Religion can play a big part in break ups – regardless of the faith. I always liked “Even though we’ve been together for two years, you’re Jewish and I’m Catholic, what would the Pope say?" and the classic “We have religious differences...you think you are God and I don’t agree.” Let’s not leave out the, “It wasn't the will of God” line.
THE CAKE AND EAT IT DUMP
Some dumpers are rather greedy, “Can't we get divorced and still be together? I mean it's just a piece of paper....” and “Can't you just be in my life like the rest of my female friends?” or the ole chestnut, “I am not ready for a relationship, but I still want you in my life.” I especially loved “I'm confused, but I'd like to see you both - her on the weekends and you in the commuter parking lot.” Huh?
I thought I’d leave you with some of my favourites over
