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Since when did it take a restraining order to break up? I happened to mention how hard it is to get a temporary restraining order against someone and someone else said that this is the only way to break up these days. What! Then last night, I took a friend home from dinner and a movie and found an old car and a young boyfriend in her driveway, uninvited and unwelcome (just the boyfriend – the car could stay!).
Hmmm…what to do, what to do? He came over to my window and introduced himself, ripe with good manners and a hearty handshake, but then I remembered that he is a trainer. And, my friend is no physical match for him. She whispered under her breath that everything would be okay but my instincts told me otherwise.
Turned out he was more of a lovesick puppy than anything else but still, he had no right to come over unannounced with his big ole trainer body and truck. That's just plain scary. What if my friend had been coming home from a date? As Mammy said in Gone With the Wind, "T'aint right, t'aint right, t'aint right!" And Mammy was always right! By later today, my friend realized how wrong that former boyfriend scenario had been. Was it going to take a restraining order for him to accept that their romance was over?
A restraining order is a big deal and can go on one's record for up to three years. It's nothing to sneeze at and many companies do a thorough background check before hiring and a restraining order on one's record is a big bad ding type of "ting." As for myself, I've had my own share of "fans" gone too far so I can tell you what a restraining order is all about – first the forms, of course, because what bureaucracy doesn't function without the forms! The forms have to be filled out in quadruplicate or so I recall and then you have to write an essay as to why this person should be restrained from coming near you and contacting you via phone, e-mail, and text. And because you are affecting someone else's future, your reasons had better be sound. (Mine were sound as a bell but felt more like a nightmare to have to write out for the judge!)
A judge evaluates that which you have written and decides whether you're in. If you get his John Hancock on your documents, you may then go to the Sheriff's office and apply to have them delivered by your hired peeps (kind of like bounty hunters that you hire to serve the document), friends or relatives, or you can have The Sheriffs Office process the restraining order. I love the Sheriffs Office so I asked them to do it but was told that it might take up to a week. I didn't think the judge would want to keep a known stalker out on the street and sure enough, the papers were served on a Monday after having been filled out on a Friday.
But wait. More bureaucracy – we have to keep people employed! You must go back to the office where you got your original forms only to be told that those were the wrong forms so you have to start all over again. Hey, it's an adventure! Embrace it. I write so I can live twice…and sometimes I don't have to because I'm already doing just that! It's déjà-vu as you start again but by now everyone knows you and they are all super friendly and want to make sure that you get your papers completed before quitting time which is something proximate to a banker's closing time. Public servants. I can only imagine our future health care.
Once you have everything in hand, you go to the Sheriff's office and find…they're closed. I started on a Thursday. You come back the next day, file your papers so they can serve them before anything can happen to you. And they are good about being speedy. Really. Otherwise, it could be bad p.r. for them. Hopefully, you are now safe and sound. If there is any question in your mind about whether you need a restraining order, talk to the police. They are trained to provide this kind of information to you. After all, they are people with problems, too, and they are trained in domestic situations and stalkers and such. Never allow yourself to be in
