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Remember my fiasco with “the doctor with bad bedside manner”?
I hadn’t seen Dr. Sigall for probably ten years. As I walked into his office and embraced the doctor who 22 years ago delivered my baby girl, it felt like I’d never left. Quiet, patient and thorough, he reviewed the mammogram report and examined my breast. He explained that while the radiologist said that the findings were “probably benign,” he wasn’t comfortable waiting for six months to re-check. He referred me to a breast specialist and asked that I see him immediately.
My new doctor was just as attentive and patient, but what was I doing in his office talking about a possibility -- even a slight one -- of breast cancer? This couldn’t happen to me. This kind of thing always happens to someone else, right?
As my husband and I sat in the doctor’s office listening to my biopsy options, I had an uncomfortable feeling. The doctor didn’t pressure me. But I could tell by his tone of voice and body language that he favored having the biopsy. As I walked out of his office, I decided that I couldn’t afford to do nothing.
I drove to Los Angeles to have both of my breasts biopsied, for different findings. I wasn’t thrilled when only one biopsy was successful; the other had to be done surgically. As I left the hospital, my gut feeling told me that the news would be gloomy, yet I felt calm and composed.
The call from the doctor came the next evening. Forget the feeling in my stomach the day before, forget the signs and my earlier intuition, this was real! The voice on the other end of the phone softly said the words that nobody wants to hear -- my biopsy came back positive, and there is cancer in that particular area of my breast.
My son was standing two feet away, and I wasn’t ready to tell him, so I took the phone upstairs, closed my bedroom door and activated the speaker. My husband had a look of horror on his face when he understood who I was talking to. Looking at him I knew I had to be strong, but how? As I struggled to pay attention to what the doctor was telling me, my mind was already trying to figure out the right thing to do.
Going through the options, it became clear that the surgery had to be done immediately, which meant going in for more tests to get ready. I hung up the phone, more concerned for my hubby than me. He looked heartbroken and scared, while I felt a wave of shock wash over me. Instead of the “fun” being over, it just beginning.
It took two days to get my head, heart and emotions back in alignment, but once they settled down I felt like my normal self again. I firmly believe that we are only dealt what we can handle, and whatever we go through in life happens for a reason. I’m virtually surrounded by all of you wonderful ladies, I have a voice, and I’m going to use it!
DON’T wait if you have an abnormal mammogram, and don’t listen to “probably benign” findings. “Probably” should never be part of our vocabulary when it comes to our health. Why bother getting early mammograms if we are not going to act on them?
DON’T settle for doctors with bad bedside manners. You are special, and you deserve so much more.
DON’T postpone any kind of tests, as they sometimes save lives.
As for me, I’m scheduled for surgery, and will post this blog after it’s done. I don’t want to alarm my parents or the kids until it’s all over and they can look at me without worrying about what the doctor will find when he operates.
I will make it my mission in life to tell every woman I know that biopsy is YOUR choice and should be exercised if there is ANY doubt.
I will make more time to live in the NOW, and not when I have time.
My publicist once told me that Fabulously40 couldn’t get much recognition because while the concept is good, I didn’t have a wild, exciting or traumatic story that people can relate too. Well, now there are no excuses. I’m a cancer survivor (and forever will be because I’m just getting started), and my publicist better get Fabulously40 the coverage we deserve!
Here’s to your health
