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Breastfeeding and Weaning - It Should Be Easy, Right?

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Breastfeeding is totally natural so it should be easy right?  We all know that's not true.  My own experiences with breastfeeding were excruciatingly painful in the first month.  Both times.  But fortunately, weaning is not so hard, or is it?

One of the biggest controversies when it comes to breastfeeding is the length of time babies are breastfed. Some women are uncomfortable with it and only breastfeed for a few days or a few weeks. Some women only breastfeed while they are on maternity leave and switch to formula when they return to work.  Other working moms pump during work or use a combination of breastfeeding at home and formula at daycare.  Most women in the United States wean by the time the child reaches one year of age.  And finally, there are moms who breastfeed for an extended time until the child self-weans. Which is right?  Whatever works for you and your child of course.

The American Academy of Pediatrics says, "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child."  But these are guidelines and are oftentimes cause of mother angst and guilt for either breastfeeding for too short or too long. 

Amy Gates put up a thought-provoking post on extended breastfeeding until age 3, 4, or 5.  It is not the norm in the United States, but elsewhere in the world, it is unheard of to stop breastfeeding before the age of two.  The cultural pressures to wean before the age of two in the industrialized world are huge.  Here are my own experiences in breastfeeding and weaning.

When my son was born, we went through the usual trials during the first month and settled into a nice regular schedule for nursing.  I went back to work full-time and found a daycare near my work so I could breastfeed him at lunch.  I also pumped twice during the day to fill in the rest of the feedings.  When he was 10 months old, I stopped pumping but continued to nurse him at lunch.  By then, he was also eating a variety of baby foods.  Whenever people asked me when I was going to wean, I replied about a year.  This artificial end date was partially based on the AAP recommendations and was also due to the fact that we were thinking of having another child.  I had no interest in breastfeeding through pregnancy, although some women do it.  I personally thought it would be strange to be tandem breastfeeding a toddler along with a newborn.   

I thought about weaning when my son turned one, but we had a nice comfortable schedule going.  Eventually around 15 months, I started to wean and cut back on the feedings.  Week by week, I dropped one feeding, starting with the daytime ones.  We kept the morning and evening feedings and my son was perfectly fine with it.  After a few weeks, I dropped the morning feeding and then finally the evening feeding.  Since my son was always awake and raring to go in the evenings, I didn't rely on that feeding to put him to sleep.  So it went very smoothly for him.  I was a bit crushed to be giving up this precious bonding time, but I knew it fit into my grand family plan.  About a week later, my breasts were engorged with milk. 

"What do I do?"  I asked my husband.  He suggested putting my son on to nurse and I did.  He obviously hadn't forgotten what to do in a week and drained both my breasts.  After that final feeding, my breasts were fine.  They got the message.  Shut down the milk factory.

Unfortunately, it took a whole year to conceive my daughter.  I lamented the missed time that I could have been breastfeeding my son.  But he was healthy and took to drinking regular milk just fine.  And I was enjoying my freedom not being constantly tied to him.  My husband and I finally managed a weekend getaway.  What a concept!

When my daughter was born, we knew this would be our last child, so I vowed to breastfeed her to the age of two.  This brought lots of raised eyebrows even from my husband, who felt he would never get his boobies back.  Let's face it, when your breasts are used as a milk factory, they can't do double duty as sexual objects.  Around twenty months, my father fell ill and I had

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mamacat 5 pts

I love to read about other women's experiences with nursing their babies.  Each and every mother I have chatted with has had such a different time of it, and each person is an inspiration.  I personally weaned my first baby when she was about 5 months old and my second at about 6 months.  I was devastated both times because I desperately wanted to nurse them longer.  I've heard so many great things from moms who have been able to breastfeed past the first year...  However, I ended up weaning both girls fairly early, each for different reasons.

I think at this point I have come to terms with the early weaning.  I am glad I was able to have those first months of breastfeeding my babies and I am sure they will gain the nutritional benefits from them.  If we have a third child I will try once again to nurse longer - perhaps the third time will be the charm??

MamaCat @ My Quirky World ( http://www.myquirkyworld.blogspot.com )

moonfever0 5 pts

I am pretty comfortable with my body, but I just couldn't do the dual duty. I was always worried that I would have a let down (which I did often!) and it just felt weird to have my husband there where my kids were just drooling on me. So I normally just put a burp cloth on me in case of let downs and pretended they weren't there. Yeah, I know, just all in my head. They're back now!

Angela at mommy bytes ( http://www.mommybytes.com )

Carrie Blankenship 5 pts

While the breastfeeding experience is so vastly different and individual for all - it is interesting, even years post breastfeeding, to read about it.  I think, for me, because our bodies and what they can do (GROW a person and then NOURISH it!) will always fascinate and amaze me.

All three of my kids were breastfed, and each one was different.  My oldest was weaned easily at 1, when I was 3 months pregnant with his brother.  My second weaned himself, by pulling away and showing no interest in anything he could not cart along with him (sorry, boobs aren't detachable!) around 9 months.  And my youngest nursed until 1 as well.  She refused to take a bottle or cup here first year, no matter the contents (pumped breastmilk or formula) and I was so worried she would be difficult to wean, but it was quite the contrary.

While I had easy experiences, with only one case of mastitis in my collective 2.9 years of breastfeeding, it is important to understand that not all women have it as easy as we did.  Many do not produce, many feel uncomfortable.  And as natural as the process may be, there are underlying social and cultural issues that sometimes prohibit women from breastfeeding and I hope that they do not feel excluded for the choices they make when it comes to their children.

Carrie at Stop Screaming I'm Driving! ( http://stopscreamingimdriving.com )

VanderbiltWife 5 pts

I think it's great that more and more people are starting to nurse for longer like the rest of the world. I have a 3 month old daughter and we are exclusively BFing (I pump at work). I'd love to nurse her until she self-weans but it seems that so many people think you're insane to breastfeed even to a year old. You don't want to be a wacko, but it's so normal and natural! I guess formula is just so readily available in our culture and breatfeeding in public is so unacceptable that people can't fathom wanting to do it for any length of time.

EKalma 5 pts

This was an interesting post, but I have to disagree on one point. Your breasts CAN do double duty as a mechanism for feeding your baby and sexual objects. I am both a mom and a lover to my man and the two parts of me work in conjunction. My breasts are not only for my son. They serve two purposes and I love that my breasts can nourish my child and bring me sexual pleasure as well. I know that this is a sensitive topic because many people can't see breasts as anything but sexual objects, but there is no reason your breasts can't be a part of your sex life just because you're nursing.

Blacktating Blog ( http://blacktating.blogspot.com )

stanle17y 5 pts

Breastfeeding is the hardest thing I've ever done!  I had such a difficult time with my first... the nurses were actually surprised that I was willing to try again with my son.  But, he was so easy!

Despite it all, I nursed them both to nine months.  I don't ask if they remember it...  It's enough for me to remember that wonderful time.  I cried when they weaned, but I knew it was the best thing for all of us.  It's a right of passage to wean... it means they're growing up.  And that is only the beginning.  It's a milestone; one of many more to come.

Thanks for a great post!  :-)

MommyWizdom ( http://blog.mommywizdom.com )

smd042 5 pts

I weaned my son at 9 months because we wanted to get pregnant again and I thought I needed a "break" between nursing and being pregnant.  My second child weaned herself at 16 months when I found out I was pregnant again, and number 3 nursed until she was I dunno 19 months or something. 

I am definitely for nursing longer.  Having a "break" in between didn't make a lot of difference, and my son had all kinds of issues with the formula and not gaining weight (though it took us a while to make the connection.)

But it is totally up to you and your child.  I think any amount of nursing is totally awesome. 

moonfever0 5 pts

I had a Medela pump-in-style and it was the best. My son was squirmy too (and still is) but our nursing session were short and sweet. I was so grateful to get an extra snuggly daughter the next time.

Angela at mommy bytes ( http://www.mommybytes.com )

lolagoetz 5 pts

My son weaned himself before a year. We just eventually dropped off as he lost interest. I hated pumping anyway - never did have a good enough pump to really make it less frustrating (except at the hospital - loved their pump!). But I was so sad when it happened. He no longer cuddles much. It's always go, go, go! I do miss that time with him.

Becky
misspriss.org ( http://misspriss.org )
organizedmother.com ( http://organizedmother.com )

cakeburnette 5 pts

When I was pregnant the first time, we decided to try breastfeeding for at least 6 months for the financial benefits.  Then after he was born, I discovered we were one of the very few fortunate families for whom nursing came easy from the start! No pain, no latching issues.  Anyway, long story short, I LOVED nursing and the bonding that automatically has to come with it.  But I got pregnant again when he was 6 months old and he was a BUSY baby who had better things to do than sit in Mama's lap to cuddle and snuggle and he weaned himself between his 9th & 10 months (my OB said the milk may have changed its taste, which may have been a big contributor).  Anyway, I cried for a solid two weeks every time I gave him a bottle, but he seemed fine.  When my daughter came, I was DETERMINED to nurse her as long as she wanted.  Unfortunately, we moved two states away when she was 16 months old, and by then we were down to just a morning and/or night feeding. Hubby said to not remind her if she forgot to ask to nurse (she would come to me and ask, "I nuss?" in the sweetest little voice).  So the week we moved, she stopped asking, and we stopped nursing.  I am still sad about that AND SHE'S 10 1/2!!!!!  (not that I would have still been nursing her now or anything, LOL)  I loved nursing and it was such a wonderful positive bonding experience for my two and me.

AmberS 5 pts

I'm so impressed by pumping moms.  That takes real dedication and commitment, and is a real gift to your children.  Although I worked and breastfed I'm Canadian, and so I have the first year off and found that I was able to continue nursing without having to pump.

~ Amber

www.strocel.com ( http://www.strocel.com )

moonfever0 5 pts

Since he is getting plenty of nutrition, you can probably cut it down to once in the morning, once at naptime and once in the evenings. And whenever during the night... I don't remember how I handled the middle of the night feedings, but maybe by then they had tapered down. My daughter definitely woke up in the middle of the night well past 16 months, so after I weaned I just climbed in bed and slept with her if she woke up.

Angela at mommy bytes ( http://www.mommybytes.com )

Skye 5 pts

My son is still nursing about 5 times a day and once or twice a night at 16 months, in addition to eating tons of solid food and drinking water and juice. I have definitely started to wonder if that's going to taper off the nursing or if I need to start pushing him a little bit. I'm going to BlogHer by myself this year, dang it!