Butterflies

        The "talent" of making a lot of friends in a blink is like a second nature for children. We all know, as adults, this skill is very beneficial for their future social intelligence and ability to easily interact with others while responding to their feelings in a positive way.

     

         But not always things are as bright and easy as us parents we would love to. Not always our children are like those social butterflies that we see everywhere around us. Sometimes the children need to be guided through all this journey called social life. And it's our duty not only as parents but as adults as well, to teach the younger generations the good values of our society and a proper behavior.

        We might want to start with the ability of discerning between when it's the right time to give up and when to keep the "battle" going. Of course no one likes their offspring to always be the loser, the one that's always at the end of the food chain, sort of speaking, but lets face it, a child will definitely be in one of those situations at one point and we need to teach them how to gracefully lose, explaining that it's almost impossible to win all the time.

        How do we help them to overcome the breakdown? Simply by being a good example to them, by letting them beat you at games you play together and then take the lead and be the winner, in both cases showing excitement towards the game itself and the fun involved not the score.

        Some kids are very shy and have a hard time to integrate and mingle with other kids, not because they chose to, but because of their nature. Instead of just sitting there and watching others playing, teach them how to join them by approaching one kid that seems friendlier than the others and look more like your child's type. By trying to catch the whole group's attention, he/she will only manage to add up to their frustration as children can be and are really noisy when in a group and obviously he/she might get overlooked and unheard. 

        Children don't give a damn about "politics" and they always say what's on their mind, which is so refreshing and praiseworthy. But as we live in a society of rules and regulation and policies and...so on and so on...they need to learn how to be diplomatic, even when they speak their mind. And it's all because by not being diplomatic, they might end up hurting someone's feelings. People can be so sensitive, in such weird ways, sometimes. The best way to teach them diplomacy is the force of example so remind them how they've felt when someone else has hurt or offended them. 

 

        In my opinion, teaching children to stick to their beliefs and their opinions is a good way to help them grow and nurture their confidence. Yes, it feels like Heaven when your child agrees with you all the time but a child that always knows how to stand up for themselves is a child that's gonna succeed as an adult, most likely easier than the "well behaved" ones. 

 

        We just need to teach them do be convincing in a polite, calm while firm way and not to try and get what they want by screaming and throwing tantrums. And when they do resort to this strategy all we need to do is stay calm and stick to our beliefs ourselves, not shouting and screaming or even worse, hitting them as their answer to violence is, obviously, violence.

 

        Judging by the above, an outsider might believe parenthood is nothing but a nightmare and an endless road, full of crocodile tears and tantrums but the truth is, if parents' life would be an easy one, there will be no beauty in it, just boredom. 

 

 

             And I would take beauty anytime :)

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