It also left open the possibility for the Legislature to use a term other than marriage for state-sanctioned unions as long as it was also applied to opposite sex couples and not used to distinguish between them.

This sounds like an ideal solution – and now that I’ve “met” Denise, I know that some gays don’t want anything to do with marriage b/c it stems from religion and patriarchy. What do you think? Do you want marriage, or would you be happy with a state-sanctioned union that would give you and BP the same rights as marriage?

I just wish people could see that we are just like everybody else.

Eventually, people will see it. But it will take time. I think that in our lifetime, gays will receive equal rights, but the stigma will still be there. It will take several more generations before gays are part of mainstream. Surely you believe it will happen? It can't stay this way forever.

Vered DeLeeuw
www.momgrind.com

I'm tired of suggestions that we sit on our hands and look pretty whilst others debate whether to throw us under a bus.

I'm quite patient (usually) when discussing this with those who are unsure and or unknowing, but in this case, the courts had to weigh in. In my opinion, the governor if in a private and weak moment, might well state he is rather relieved to have the court rule this way. And I don't believe he will let it be made into some sort of election campaign inspire those on the right through fear issue.

We need to be discussing this as a nation. We need to come to a new level of maturity. We need to rethink what we legally sanction for relationships. There have been strong hints this state will one day get to a more enlightened place about modern American families... and gay families are just one example of families who might find assistance in updating government's role in who benefits under such aw. 

nelle

I guess maybe I'm a little confused by your question. If I were granted the same rights as a marriage through a state-sanctioned union, then how is that not a marriage?

What I want is equallity. I want to have the same rights and
protections under the law as any straight couple who gets a marriage
lisence. If it's called marriage or if it's called state-sanctioned
unions, I don't care, as long as the terminology and rights are the
same for all, gay or straight.

I'm actually not sure that the social stigma will ever fully go away. I think things will get better, and I think that we will see equal rights in my lifetime, but I don't think there will every be a day where there isn't a stigma to being gay.

zoe

gaymo

When you said that it is the same. I think so too. But what if straight couples can choose a "civil union" or a "marriage", but gay couples can only choose a "civil union"? Some will argue that it's still not full equality, even if the same rights and protections are granted under both arrangements. I would disagree, and it seems like you would too.

Really? You think there will always be stigma? You must be a pessimist by nature. I HAVE to believe that some day, not in our lifetime but sometime in the future, society will become advanced and sophisticated enough that people will look at each other and will not see gender, or skin color, or sexual orientation, or religion. Or maybe they will see it, but it will not matter. Perhaps I am overly optimistic. I've been accused of that before. 

Vered DeLeeuw
www.momgrind.com

I agree with all the previous commenters that this is a complicated issue, but still it's an exciting first step. I have a gay brother who lives in California, and it was thrilling to see how happy he was at this news.

Kalyn Denny
Kalyn's Kitchen

Congratulations to your brother, that is exciting news for him.

I've written about this a bunch, but only from the experience of being the daughter of a gay man and having LOTS of gay friends who are as "married" as I am and raising amazing families.

My take is that "marriage" is a religious thing and that the state has no business offering anything but civil unions - and that EVERYONE has the right to one of those - Civil Unions For All!. In most states, you have to get all the paperwork done in the courthouse anyway, the marriage is really just a blessing...

As for optimism and a day when gay families will be recognized....  I think we'll get there, stigma free, in my lifetime. Maybe my world view is skewed by living in a bastion of liberal thinking, but....  So many of my daughter's freinds have gay parents, or bi-racial families or any number of other previously stigmatized manifestations of love. Are they free from all stigma now? No, not by a long shot. But every generation that is raised with it seeming normal is a HUGE step towards a future in which we recognize that love is love. 

___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE: A Web Site To Save The World

Start Her Up: A blog for Women Entrepreneurs

Congratulations to all gays and lesbians living in California.  This decision is a great step forward in true equality.  I am just a little jealous that my own country Australia can't seem to join the 21st Century where same-sex marriage/union is concerned.  Our goverment has decided that it will let the states have a same-sex couple registration, but will disallow any state that attempts to bring in a civil union because it looks too much like a marriage.  *sigh*  Maybe one day....

Dancing About Architecture - Blogging just got queerer.