Calling out the bully
By Indigo on January 31, 2012
A few years ago I wrote this post. I never named names, however the nosy next door neighbor of this girl certainly knew who I was talking about — because he alerted her parents to this kid’s actions. And then I got a phone call. The mother and I had a conversation, she said she talked to her daughter and that she admit that she rang our bell, and ran because my husband scared her off. I thought it was interesting that they bought her story, but whatever, we agreed that our kid’s both needed time apart from each other. She asked me why I didn’t just call her when this happened, and to be honest I had already called her enough about things that her daughter had done that we BOTH were unhappy with. I also never named names and who would have thought that I had a nosy neighbor who thought it was his business to CONSTANTLY be in MY business via my blog?
Everyone has choices. I chose to write that post and publish it. After talking with that mother I decided the proper thing to do would be to remove that post from my blog. We’ve been friendly with each other, our daughter’s have played together a few times, and as far as I know there hasn’t been any problems. I should point out that my daughter attends a different school, so they really don’t even see each other until the summer anyways.
And then Sunday happened. However first I need to fill you in what’s been going on with Maisy.
Maisy has been diagnosed withintervertebral disc disease (IVDD). I first noticed that she was having problems with her hind legs over the summer when we’d return from walks and her hind claws would be bleeding because she had wore them right down to her paws. She never complained, never limped, never stopped walking (or running) the entire time. I just figured that her claws had been cut too short. Weeks went by and I noticed that she was dragging her knuckles when she walked through the house, I could hear it due to the hard floors we have, she sounded like a zombie shuffling. She also started to stand with her hind foot folded over. Something was clearly wrong so I took her to the vet around September or October, at was this time that she was misdiagnosed as having arthritis. The cure? Get her out and walk her MORE!
Those “more walks” didn’t happen for very long. And sadly, within a matter of weeks Maisy went from having no issues of walking to kind of having a drunken sailor walk (no offense to the sailors, my dad was a sailor!) to sometimes losing all ability to move her hind left leg. Finding my dog with her hind legs in a splits position where she is unable to stand up without help just about broke my heart. So, off to the vet we went again. This time she was diagnosed with IVDD and we are on the road to figuring out the right medication cocktail in order to make her more comfortable. We started with Tramadol twice a day and Deramaxx once a day (basically pain pills and an anti-inflammatory). Within a few weeks it was obvious that she wasn’t doing better. She was unsure of herself, wouldn’t step off of the area rugs at home and wouldn’t go outside unless I stood out there with her, and then it would sometimes take her 10 minutes just to get the right position to relieve herself.
The previous Sunday I was volunteering at the Icebreaker Indoor Marathon when my husband called. I need to get home now. SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH MAISY. That whole ride home from the Pettit Center I thought this could be it, I had no idea what condition I would come home to. Well, she had gotten too excited and her hind leg was convulsing out of control. She basically needed some time to lay down and relax.
I consulted the vet the next day and we moved onto the medication cocktail #2, Tramadol and Prednisone. In order for her to be on the Prednisone she had to be off of the Deramaxx for five days. Those five days were miserable. For me and for her. We were able to start her on it over the weekend, which meant she finally received some relief. The problem lies in that the drugs mask her pain and we have to be INCREDIBLY CAREFUL with her. No jumping on/off the furniture, no running around the backyard, etc… It sure would be nice if you could just say to your dog: Just hold still for the next month so you can get better. We need you Maisy, you are a part of this family.
So back to Sunday. Maisy and Josie are sleeping on their designated love seat. My daughter and I are watching TV in the family room. And then the doorbell rang. The dogs spill off the couch in a pile, of course Maisy with her hind legs not working very well is at the bottom of the pile with the 95# dog on top of her. There is jumping, there is running, there is scampering towards the front door, which of course we don’t even use because there’s a giant dog crate in front of it. My daughter looks out the bay window and no one is on the front porch.
Here’s the thing about our house. I can look out any window and see what’s going on around most of the block I live on. I look out my bedroom window and see two kids running past my next door neighbor’s house and cutting across the street into a yard. Who it was on Sunday? I don’t know and I honestly don’t care. What I care about is the fact that my dog is most likely dying and I finally got her on some meds that allow her to be comfortable, then a couple of kids come along and they decide to have some fun and ring MY doorbell and then run off. Well, let me tell you, I’m pretty sure those kids have hugged my dog over the last five years. Did they know that their choice would cause a chain reaction on the inside of my house that would make me livid? No. I realize that.
However I felt it was as good a time as any to post a friendly reminder on the subdivision’s Yahoo! group that said this:
Have a talk with your kids, the neighbors don’t appreciate it when they ring their doorbell and then run away. It’s rude.
It was responded to with the following:
These are kids. And didn’t you have enough trouble when you accused the wrong kid of doing this at your house the last time you brought this up?
Of course “P” is my nosy neighbor who reads (or at least used to read) my blog. I suppose writing about it on my blog could be referenced as “brought this up” but I certainly didn’t accuse the wrong kid when I wrote about it. Key thing to note here: Eye witness whom I am married to SAW it happen AS it happened and then SPOKE to the doorbell ringer while she was running away. Furthermore, the other girl has spent loads of time at our house. She’s a delightful young lady and is welcome here any time. I actually asked her about the “event” one day, she spilled the full scoop to me. It’s all in the past and I honestly couldn’t care less about it. Kids do stupid things ALL the time. At the time I wrote that post, in 2008, I was questioning whether or not I should allow my daughter to continue playing with someone who I felt was not a good influence.
That said, my response to “P” was the following:
Oh that’s very interesting Paul, I saw the kids this time and last time. I didn’t accuse wrong then, and I certainly didn’t have any trouble about it.Kim
I’m not sure what this “trouble” is that he is referring to. He read my blog, he was able to identify the kid, clearly he guessed correctly and alerted the mother, who called me, we worked it out, etc…. and now his logic is that I “accused wrong” when I never even said who it was … do I need to point out that HE CORRECTLY ACCUSED the kid and called her mother about it and started this whole ball of drama rolling in 2008? Gosh this is getting good.
“P’s” response to me last night was (and really, to get the full effect you simply must imagine he is pointing his finger at me):
Let me refresh your memory. One of the mother’s involved had a direct conversation with you and told you to your face it was not her child that rang your doorbell the last time. For the record she was none to pleased either that you wrongly accused her child. And once again…these are kids playing! Just saying!!P
Okay. So let’s get this straight now. I wrote a blog post and didn’t name names, he read my blog and correctly ID’d the kid who did this, called her mother, her mother called me, we worked it out, etc…. blah, blah, blah. And somehow he’s got it in his head that he needs to refresh mymemory??? Refresh a conversation that I had with another mother, of which he WAS NOT a part of AT ALL??
Let me break this down for you. Yes, the mother and I did have a direct conversation. She called me on the phone and I talked with her. She did not tell me anything to my face because we were on the phone. The words “my child didn’t do that” was never said and for cripes sake there is no ill feelings between the two of us at all to this day (at least not on MY end). Perhaps she vented to him about our conversation, I don’t know, and I don’t really care, everyone deserves the right to vent. WHY DO YOU THINK I HAVE A BLOG???? However all this gossip coming from “P” about a private conversation (from 2008) that is none of his business is just childish.
I wouldn’t even care if it wasn’t for the fact that he’s posting this stuff on the Yahoo! group for the subdivision and slandering my name in the process. All I care about is my dog and what happened inside of my house after the “these are kids playing!” went on.
Ringing the doorbell and running is just mean. Since when is it okay to be mean? And what kind of role model goes ahead and tells a kid to do mean things to their neighbors? And no, I don’t recall ever ringing the doorbell and running when I was a kid. Are you freaking kidding me??? Have you met my father?
This is not he first time that he’s read my blog and then gone off to misreport something to a neighbor and to be quite honest it’s very irritating.
That time that I was on vacation and this happened I called the DNR to see if you could put live traps in your yard in my village (the answer is yes), the next thing I know I’m getting an email from the president of the Home Owner’s Association saying he heard that “I called the police”. Huh? I wonder where that incorrect information came from? I don’t care about the rabbits in my yard and would never dream of setting a trap, so calling someone to find out the proper information seemed like the right thing the do. I certainly never CALLED the police to lodge a complaint, as if the police would actually come out for a bunny rabbit complaint. Pfft.
Paul if you are reading this, which you probably are, you know what? I actually agreed with you on your post last year to the group about getting out there and voting. I do vote Republican and I also support Gov. Scott Walker and all that he has done for the State of Wisconsin while he’s been in office so far. I disagreed with the way you went about it on the group and did not want to see any sort of drama in the neighborhood. However, I can now see you for what you are, the neighborhood bully who just wants to cause tension where ever you can.
I refuse to be bullied by you.
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