Calling in reinforcements: Kiddo's going to grandma's

I have decided that I am not and cannot deal with this terrible two thing for one more second today. When the whining and screaming starts at 3-something in the am it's enough to want to claw your eyes out. Speaking of eyes, I've been so stressed out, always on the defensive, that my eyelid has started twitching every 10 seconds or so and I can't see out my eye.

This morning was a special treat of terrible twos. Kiddo woke up and decided that his blanket was hot and he didn't want it. So I go in his room to settle him back into bed and put his blanket on the floor. Then he immediately starts screaming about wanting it back. So I give it back to him and he throws it on the floor. Then it was Kitty. I hand her to him and he chucks her across the room at me. Then he wants her back. I hand her to him again and say DON'T you dare throw her again. So he does. Then he begins demanding pancakes and lunch, RIGHT NOW. Um, no. It's the middle of the night. I brought him a graham cracker, told him I didn't care if he went to sleep or not but quit screaming or I'm gonna Duct Tape his mouth shut then I walked out of his room and let him continue to scream. About that same time this morning there was a mystery call on my phone that left no message..

Ugh. Everything is a challenge. I know he's testing limits but he's gone above and beyond pushing the boundaries. I don't know how to get him to behave appropriately even once a week at this point because all my parenting techniques and arsenal of tricks are depleted. I've tried bribery, taking everything away, ignoring him, smothering him with attention, giving in, spanking, time out, and sending him away. When he stays elsewhere for the night everyone says that he is a perfect angel. WTH!!!! It seems the more I give the more he takes and doesn't want. I'm seriously about to lose it. It's time to call in reinforcements. He's going to grandma's. This mommy needs a time out and perhaps, lots of rum.


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