We take our maiden pop-up camper voyage in a few days. With two teenagers traveling on a road trip, I've decided to enact Camp Rules. I know, rules and vacation don't exactly go together but I believe it will make everyone happier in the end. At least it'll make Mom happy and you know the saying....
Even though they're teenagers, we're going back to Kindergarten for lessons in how to behave. And yes, even adults have to follow them. My rules are simple - just remember your face.
- Mouth - If using it, SMILE. Simply put, no whining allowed. The words, "I'm bored" are illegal. Complaints are only allowed on comment cards, which will not be read. Attitude is everything so make yours fabulous!
- Eyes - LOOK....What's that?! We are on vacation. Soak up what is around you. Take in the world. If we're in the truck, look out the window. Behold: scenery. If we're outdoors, enjoy nature. Interact with humans, not technology.
- Ears - Have ear buds, will travel. If you don't like what we're listening to, insert ear buds. Remember rule #1? No complaining or whining about whatever old, outdated song these old parents might be reminiscing to on the radio.
- Feet - Everybody JUMP, JUMP! (Ok, now you're laughing because you're envisioning me rapping.) Anyway, back to topic - Get up on them. Explore! But don't get lost.
- Nose - Do you smell that?!. If it smells then I don't want it in our tiny space. Pretend like you're on a date and take all the proper hygiene precautions. Your family will love you for it.
- Hands - Lend one...or two. Help out. Yes, vacations are meant for relaxing but that also requires a little work when we arrive. Camping means everyone pitches in. Insert ear buds, remember #1, use #4 and #6 simultaneously and see what can be accomplished.
(Yes, I realize hands aren't ON your face but I'm the mom and I make the rules. Plus, I talk with my hands so they truly are an extension of it.)
Failure to follow rules 1-6 (and any random rules said parents wishes to add during said trip) could be detrimental to your health, or at the very least, your happiness. Acts of embarrassment will ensue at a surprise public location near you. When you least expect it punishment for broken rules may lead to parental PDAs, pop-up karaoke, or becoming the designated puppy pooper scooper for the trip.
Your expectations - do something besides stare at four walls for spring break. Ours - follow the rules and have a fun, memorable family trip. Consent to this binding and legal contract is assumed by the mere fact you actually took the time to read it.
Your loving parental units