can being 'Too good' be a bad thing?
By loveconquers on August 19, 2014
Even though Gideon was stealing my attention from Billy, Woo was still ever present in my life. However this time, I would lose Gideon if I didn't cut ties completely with Woo. Woo was my first love. It felt like he was a part of me and he was and not in the sense you think. I had to remove that part or else I wouldn't really be able to move on, to give my heart to someone who actually wanted it. Woo had taken my heart and left me empty, just barely existing. To be with Woo I had to shut off part of me, the part that wanted to be loved, deeply and honestly. The part that Woo had no interest in nurturing. I couldn't do it anyone. Even talking/texting him several times in a week felt like I was giving too much of myself to him, not matter how little it supposedly meant to me. Gideon made me feel loved and whole and deserved all my attention. The part that Woo had taken and left hollow, Gideon filled with part of his heart, sharing himself with me, like I always yearned for.
When I said Woo is a part of me I meant being with him help me become who I am today. He unknowingly helped me learn what love was even if he refused to give me the real love I needed. Even though the love in the relationship was one sided aka me loving him, there was still a connection that set a standard and this standard Gideon blew out the water.
Our connection seemed to appear out of no where. We spent, what I feel was the cutest day ever together at work. Gideon got me breakfast and asked to ride along with him to get our lunch. At the end of the day he asked "so, how are we going to do this." Earlier he had asked to make sure we exchanged numbers before I left work. It was his way of asking for my number lol a majority of females at the hospital fawned over Gideon, making me feel pretty awesome that he was afraid of my rejection. I loved it. He was tall, funny, intelligent and insanely sexy (he used to be a model) . I'm still stunned at how good looking he is lol
On our first date he swept me off my feet. It was so cliche and I loved it. We met up for dinner and drinks. I still remember exactly what he wearing; a T-shirt with panda balloons and jeans. He looked so cute. He made me laugh throughout the entire dinner and I could barely stop from staring at him, he has these beautiful snake skin eyes. After dinner we took his truck and went to some area and shot a BB gun. We also laid in the bed of his truck and looked at the stars. Cliche I know, but I was sold. He didn't kiss and god knows I wish he would've. He left me wanting more.
He called to say good night and to make sure i got home safely. He seriously seemed like a miracle. Billy wasn't trying to gain any real traction and was leaving the state anyway for a while. Gideon was doing something that to me, will always prove be true, men will make time for the things they want. He called and texted all the time. I loved it. It seriously seemed too good to be true.
And too good it was. When we started dating he wasn't single but he wasn't exactly taken either. I asked him and the lady co-worker, Sandra, if they liked each other. They both said no. I mean I asked him this before we spent that day at work together. I could see something between them, they could lie all they wanted to. Before that day at work together, I would see Gideon with Sandra all over the hospital together. That abruptly ended for her after Gideon's and my first date. However she didn't realize she lost the war but kept picking battles anyway.
Even though Gideon and I hid our relationship at the hospital, was well aware of what was going on. Gideon wanted to try and remain friends with her, I completely forgot she existed. I was so wrapped up in how well things were going with Gideon. I didn't care that wanted to keep thing platonic with her, we all worked in the same department together.
The female coworker fell off my radar until she tried to drop a bomb on me. One day at work she approached me saying she wanted to talk to me about something and that she would hope a girl would do the same for her. She told her and Gideon went to an art festival together. And the time they saw each other at work he kissed her in the parking garage. My heart stopped. I was out of town when this happened. Gideon didn't work this day, I wasn't going to see him until after I got off work. Hours crawled by, me pretending I knew nothing. I was going to ambush him.
Finally I got home. I had been rehearsing my speech, which only made me angrier. I asked him what he did while I was out of town. He told me about the festival saying he was trying to keep things pleasant for all of us at work, which I understood. What I didn't understand was why he was kissing two of his coworkers. It was time to drop bomb number two. He said she kissed him in the parking lot. He claims he didn't kiss her back. I made him suffer to the best of my ability for the rest of the day. We weren't official, so I decided to let it go. I would never know what really happened and he seemed to truly care about me. He cared about me so much, he shunned the lady coworker. I mean like, she could be standing in front of him and begin to speak and he'll just walk away saying nothing. One would think that would be the end of that situation. Turns out it was just the beginning.
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