Can I Get A Witness?! Maybe Not...

I am not nor have I ever been much of a solo person.  Now I like my independence quite fine as in I do not like being told what is expected or what I should do.  That being said when we are talking about a new, creepy, frightful or possibly disastrous experience I tend to like to share that experience because I like having someone to talk to about it whether that be laughing or venting.  Having a familiar face and a personality I approve of with me makes the experience more enjoyable for me.  Now there are some things that are better experienced solo but for the most part I am all about sharing!  There is a bit of a particular breakdown to this love of sharing experiences though and it general goes as follows:

  • Meeting new people and/or attending a random social event (I have social event phobia) – this is a share with friends or family kind of deal because God forbid I have to actual start up a conversation with people I don’t know
  • Public speaking – this is a solo experience because when I stutter, stammer or look like I might piss myself I would rather do that surrounded by people I will never see again
  • Karaoke night – this is a highly shared experience because it will only be coupled with large amounts of booze which in itself is a “mandatory friends in attendance” kind of experience. *Disclaimer: Only high level friends that have been cleared as amazeballs can share in this experience
  • Trying a new diet of exercise program – this is a highly solo experience.  Since I generally react to exercise as if my body is dying or on fire I tend to prefer not being watched while I perfect my flopping beached whale impersonation.  When dieting becomes a shared experience then that means people know and I am being watched and will be judged when I say “fuck it” and put that cheeseburger and fries down like it’s my last day on earth.  Yea it’ll happen……Solo experience
  • Jumping out of a plane or off a platform – this I have done and it was better as a shared experience because when you scream, laugh, almost piss yourself and throw up in your mouth a little this is an experience best shared with those in your cool circle
  • Childbirth – although this experience generated from a shared concept it is almost best left in the end to a solo kind of experience because that utter hot mess of human form is best kept for those you’ll never see again :)
  • Traveling to a foreign country – not that you will ever see me doing this but if it happens I would prefer to share it….I mean if I get used as a drug mule there’s no way I’m ending up in third world country jail by myself

pic courtesy of thefunnyblog.org 

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