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Sparkle (0)
She wants to move in with me. Of course she does. Who didn't see that request coming from a mile away? The now 21 year-old with the soon to be 2 year-old daughter is being evicted from the apartment she has shared with her unemployed, slacker, pothead, [unkind word] loser of a boyfriend. As of July 1, she will be homeless and has very few options. She had been living with her dad, but she couldn't handle his rules, so she bailed. We're not entirely sure where exactly she was living for a while. Then she moved in with her cousin (my boyfriend's sister) for a while. Cousin has a small, but decent, one-bedroom apartment in her basement. It afforded her a certain measure of privacy. But as a responsible home-owner and older relative of this girl, Cousin still imposed certain rules, mostly relating to house guests. Highly understandable as Cousin has a small child of her own and has some interest in monitoring the people who have access to her home. She blew that rule on the very first night she lived at Cousin's. They butted heads for about a month and a half before she left for boyfriend's apartment. She now claims that Cousin basically kicked her out. No one else believes this is true. Once upon a time, when she first got pregnant, my boyfriend offered her a room in his house, with certain conditions. She had to pay rent (like $50), get a job, and contribute to house-cleaning. Though she didn't say why, she denied the very generous offer. I have always believed she found his proposed "rules" to be too rigid. She thinks that she is an adult who should not have to answer to anyone else's rules. She fails to recognize that she has never proven to any of her family members that she is a responsible adult and that the people paying for the roof over her head really should get to set the house rules.
So she has burned a lot of family bridges. Her dad has now got her sister living with him, so there isn't much room for a rebellious, ungrateful daughter and toddler. Cousin undoubtedly doesn't want her (and her child) being homeless, but I don't think Cousin will be too eager to open her home to her a second time. Her best option right now seems to be the electricity-free camper in her grandmother's back yard. That won't be much fun in the heat of a midwestern summer, now will it?
She called me on Sunday. I knew what was coming before I answered the phone. She took some time to work up to it, explaining her situation and talking through her options. She said she would most likely go to her grandma's. I did not interject. I did not offer any ideas or solutions. Yes, I made her ask. And ask she did.
"Grandma's house would be fine," she said, "but you living in your town would be my preference." Another pause, as if I might offer up my home so she could live in her preferred town. "So, I was thinking, maybe Kid and I could stay in your spare room. It would just be the two of us. Slacker, pothead boyfriend wouldn't be living there. [Well, duh, slacke, pothead boyfriend wouldn't be living in my house!] I would pay you $50 a month. And once I get my food stamps and utilities worked out, I could contribute food and I would absolutely help keep the house clean."
She went on to describe her idea to get her job back, the one that she spontaneously quit at the first hint of difficulty in arranging child-care for her work hours. I lack her optimism on that front. She promised it would be a short-term solution. She would work very hard to be out of my house, back in her ideal living situation: some apartment here in town with slacker, pothead boyfriend.
There are so many things I want to say to her in response, but I don't know if giving her a long explanation of my thoughts will do her any good. First, the rent at my house for a young, irresponsible woman and a toddler would have to be far more than $50. That amount might cover the added utilities of having two extra residents. My mortgage payment is over $1100 a month. I just spent $5,000 repairing and painting the exterior. I did not do all that work just
