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With all the controversy swirling around Ms. magazine's cover picture of Obama wearing a t-shirt reading, "This is what a feminist looks like," under his suit, the important point - that Obama told Eleanor Smeal that he is a feminist - seems to have been lost. (Instead, feminists are spazzing that the cover indicates that once again, a man is here to save the day.) I think it is awesome that Obama identifies publicly as a feminist. You can barely get women to come out in public these days as feminists, so besmirched is the image of feminism. But I digress, as the topic I want to explore is whether men can really be feminists.
Dolly at Dolly Speaks, a fantastic feminist blog written by a very wise young feminist, recently found herself challenged by a male friend, and exploring in depth whether men can be feminists or, at best, pro-feminist. Here's an excerpt:
...even if men are sincere in their efforts to end sexism, they can’t just wipe away male privilege. It exists with them regardless of whether they think they are feminists or not, and that means they will always have blind spots to certain sufferings and experiences women must face. Unless women explain this to them and they open their ears, they will not understand. It locks them in a location where they can sympathize with women, but they can’t empathize. This is why a lot of feminist women believe that men can only be pro-feminist, not purely feminist.
But... [a]s bell hooks has defined it, feminism is a struggle to end sexism and all forms of sexist oppression. While sexism primarily hurts women, patriarchy indeed hurts men in ways too (though the profit off the privilege makes many guys, IMO, blind to these consequences). That means, we need men to address male privilege, and I don’t think being profeminist is enough. You’ve got to dig deep and interact with women and educate yourself... As I think we should have learned from second wave feminism, not all women’s experiences are the same. Even though many of us share an understanding of the way sexism hurts us, can relate to one another’s pain, and often feel more comfortable sharing our stories with other women than men, that does not mean we have to have all the same experiences to be good feminists... Frankly, we talk about a lot of things in feminism that we as women feminists may or may not have experienced.
Men have to work hard at being feminists–they have to be aware they cannot dominate the discourse of the movement as they previously have in the discourse of the world; they must learn to listen to the stories of women who have been used to being silenced. They have to realize it’s not about “picking up chicks,” and it’s not about self-hatred. They have to study and learn and engage, just like we all do when it comes to addressing privilege. But, ultimately… men can be feminists. It just requires honesty, sincerity, dedication, hard work, compassion, respect, and ultimately a love and value for women as equals and human beings.
I'm going to have to agree with Dolly. Merely being a woman, I've noticed, hardly makes one a feminist. Part of the reason I turned into the hard cynic that I am today is that so many women have worked really hard against other women, either out of religious beliefs (see: Phyllis Schlafly and her insane insistence that no women should ever work outside the home even though that's exactly what she does while her husband stays home with the kids) or out of a desire for personal gain (like when women sabotage female co-workers). In fact, I noticed that a lot of the men I met or admired far better represented the goals I had as a feminist than many women I knew.
In response to the Ms. dust up, Kathleen Wilcox at Heartless Doll pointed out that:
... progressive men in general can and should be recruited and commissioned to help us all keep fighting the good fight. Saying women alone can be feminists is as preposterous and ultimately defeatist as saying that only people of color can fight racism. The fact that this needs to be explained speaks volumes about the long way baby we still have to go...
Earlier last year, Cath Elliott at The Guardian in London raised the question of whether
