I hear what you're saying, and this is something I've been thinking about as well. I don't know the answer, but I do have a question......at what point do we (as parents) step back and say "too much"? 

My husband works 12 hour days, but when he is home he is attentive and wonderful with the kids, so I know a person can be both an employee and parent.  At the same time, he was given an opportunity (better position/better pay) that would include long days and regular travel. He turned it down because he thought it would be too much time away from the family. He didn't want to miss the opportunity to see the kids grow up, assist in their parenting, help me stay sane, etc..

I can't speak for Palin, or for her family, but if I had 5 children (1 being a baby), and a pregnate daughter (who would need my support and does not need to be subjected to public scrutiny) I know what I would choose to do. I would pick my family first.

I don't think that makes me anti-feminist or weaker as a woman. I would expect my husband to do the same. I'm all for women "having it all", and I'd love to see more women in powerful positions. I think both parents need to keep in mind that parenting is a job too, and it is a commitment made by choice.

Patricia Wooster

www.projectorganiceating.com

www.lifeintheburb.com

www.projectgreengirl.com

Thank you for leading the way in writing about this topic - I choose not to write about politics, either, but this is a difficult subject. 

I have to agree with Patricia's opening question, "At what point do we step back and say 'too much?'"  This is exactly what I was struggling with.  Bringing five children into the world is a decision.  A big one.  Those children have rights to be responsibly parented and I believe fulfilling those rights comes before any individual pursuit of success, power, etc. 

This is where it gets murky for me, because I am a single mother with a professional career and full charge of my two daughters.  I did not choose my particular profession, which is male-dominated, for personal fulfillment but because it paid well and i needed to provide for my children's present and future.  Truthfully, I would have preferred to leave the breadwinning up to my ex-husband, but he did not seem to have it in him to provide for his family, so i did what needed to be done.  I am fortunate that the women who went before me fought the fight to make it possible for me to do this, but it certainly does not always feel like a privilege. My ex-husband did not handle this arrangement well.  He insinuated, successfully for a while, to MY circle of friends that I had chosen career over family.  Our marriage did not survive.

I was very moved by Sarah Palin's speech last night - I don't have any qualms about her experience anymore.  I do now believe she is qualified for the job.  I believe she is interested in making a difference and not in pursuing power.  But I still am struggling with the "should" part of the equation.

I think that it honestly shows that most people in this country do not truly embrace equal rights for women. We really don't ask the same family questions about men. It is totally insulting to both men and women, implying that men are useless parents other than as breadwinners and women are bad parents if they work.

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants

It's worth noting, too, that Todd Palin is (I believe) planning on being an at-home dad.  That's pretty cool, in my book. 

How do you all respond then, to the events surrounding the birth of her last child?  I respect the woman as a family member and a politician, even if I don't always agree with her or feel comfortable with her policies.  But she went into labor during a speech, got on a plane, and drove around for a few hours to get to a hospital that isn't equipped to handle a high-risk or extremely premature birth.  As a woman and as a premi myself, I was shocked and really uncomfortable that she would risk the life of her own (unborn) child, especially as a prolife candidate.  If she's willing to treat her body and that of her child that way, how is she going to treat other people's children?

I am all for womens rights but I do agree with the first two comments on "At what point to we step back and say, too much!"

My opinion is yes, there should most definitely be equal rights for men and women, however we should never forget that men and women are built differently. Studies have shown that in male dominated industries, women report more stress and to succeed, they have to alter their natural way and take on a more masculine approach. e.g. In Sarah Palin's speech last night, she referred to herself as a pitbull with lipstick. Studies also show that when a woman is under extreme pressure constantly, it reduces her ability to make babies. Not so for men. They are physically stronger but we are stronger in other ways. We're different and it is that way so we complement each other.

I believe children are impressionable. There is a way women nuture children with tenderness and extreme attention to detail that men are incapable of.When a baby is born, it needs to bond with its mum by holding close and so on. Not the dad. This area comes naturally to women. Although both parents are important in the life of a child, I think in the earlier stages, the mum is most important and the father importance increases as the child gets older. There is a reason there is a longer maternity leave than paternity leave.

 If we want to be treated the same as men, perhaps have equal maternity and paternity leave? If I had five kinds, 4 under 18 and one special needs, with one grand child on the way, I wouldn't take up a job that would require the best part of me. I think the presence of a mother during the impressionable years of a child is irreplaceable. Also, if I just had a special needs baby, I wouldn't return to work within 2days, I would love to bond with my child and have him get used to me. Now, this is all just my opinion.

Excellent post, thanks for blogging on this subject. As a stay at home mom, I have wrestled with many of these thoughts.

I strongly support Sarah Palin and her run for VP, I think she will be awesome for our country!

Sue

www.praiseandcoffee.com

I don't know that anyone is disputing the fact that Sarah Palin has the right to accept this position.  We are in a post-women's rights movement era and I think it is generally understood that women have the right to pursue the same professional goals as men.  Thank God that's true, or quite a few women that I know personally would have some serious problems supporting their families. 

Tress

http://tress-aficionada.blogspot.com

We don't ask the same family questions about men. 

I think it's important to understand that this is NOT about responsible parenting. If it was, there would have been a similar public discussion about men in powerful positions.

This is about forcing women to choose and telling them that if they have a successful career, they can't possibly be considered good mothers.

---

I blog at MomGrind

I manage my kids' activities at UpToUs

There is a double standard here, and it's coming from Sarah Palin and the Republican party.

Let's admit what we already know. It is absolutely impossible to be a VP and simultaneously an attentive parent to 5 kids, one of whom is pregnant and another who is 5 months old and has special needs. Clearly she has decided that her focus will be on her career, which will be all-consuming. 

Fine, I am pro-choice and this is her choice.

However, don't get up in front of a national audience and laud yourself as a "hockey mom". Sarah, I would love to know the last time you drove a kid to a hockey game or watched one. And if I have to hear how brave and wonderful she is for having all these kids and choosing not to abort a Down's baby one more time, I will puke. She is not parenting that baby, she merely bore it. Again, her choice but , please, don't insult my intelligence by acting like she is actually holding this kid or feeding this kid or anything. Last night on the RNC platform she held the baby for like 5 seconds before passing him off to some one else.

To act like she is a great parent AND great governor is to defy reality. I would feel better for her kids if her husband was a stay-at-home dad, but alas, he is not. So hired people are raising their kids. Their choice entirely, but spare me "close family' act. 

BTW, I felt the same about Edwards, a dem and a male, after learning that his wife had terminal cancer. I thought that his deciscion to continue his candidacy was wrong and knew that I wouldn't ever vote for him because he should be putting his family and wife first. Of course now I have even less respect for him than before.

We can't "Have it all" much as we would like to. Nearly every mom feels guilty about the choices she has to make in regards to balancing work and career because kid's needs are truly limitless, while our abilities limited. It's a sad reality. I have friends on both sides of the career/baby spectrum and I love and respect them all, but they all admit (on both sides mind you) that in either career or time with family, they were forced to compromise and that the choice is difficult. If I could only hear Sarah admit this I could begin to regain respect for her. 

I just don't think this is area is black and white.  Some women simply have the energy level and resources to balance more than others.  I made a set of choices for my own family, because I knew what I could (and could not) handle.  I think Gov. Palin did the same.  It's simply not for any of the rest of us to say. 

Shannon @ Rocks In My Dryer
www.rocksinmydryer.net
BlogHer Contributing Editor, Mommy and Family

So many times society is concerned about a woman choosing to have a career as well as a family, but rarely do we say something about men and their careers and families.  I choose to work and have a family.  It means being very clear about my schedule and boundaries.  With politicians please show me one who has a totally clean history and I will likely have a heart attack.  Everyone has skeletons in their closets.  The choice Sara has made is not one I would have made.  It is the choice she felt was best for her.  I can not fathom she made this decision lightly.  Tara S. Dickherber, M.Ed, CPC

Diane MacEachern www.biggreenpurse.com Diane@biggreenpurse.com

I'm offended by the Sarah Palin nomination for several reasons:

* Not because she's a mom and a politician, but because she seems to be exploiting her children to advance her political career. She seems to be saying, "I can run the country BECAUSE I have a special needs child; BECAUSE my daughter is pregnant." In the end, I believe the opposite will turn out to be true. (And honestly, I still can't condone the behavior of a woman who exposes her unwed, unemployed high school-age child to the brutal media coverage that's going to attend her every day until she gives birth to that baby).

 * She has resurrected the notion of "supermom" after it seemed like it was finally being laid to rest. Anyone who has kids and juggles a career knows how horrible it is to try to have it all. And in fact, it's been a godsend that over the last few years, the media have finally let up on pushing the whole supermom complex. Now Palin is back, and "supermoms" are going to be in again -- and with a more unrealistic role model than ever before.

*  I'm offended by how Palin contorts her political positions and falsely links them to values Americans truly care about. She claims to love the outdoors, but wants to drill for oil in the most pristine wilderness. She is under a cloud of investigations for unethical conduct in office, yet she's been elevated as an ideal politician. She thinks living in a state close to Russia is adequate when it comes to understanding the implications of American foreign policy, effectively "dumbing down" U.S. expectations for global leadership.

Palin never would have been chosen were she not a woman. In the end, her selection was a clever political ploy masterminded by a cynical politician to shift the debate away from his own political weaknesses.

So maybe this discussion among us will make all of us a little bit more aware of the conundrum a working mother contends with. And after we are more aware, perhaps then we will be motivated to implement policies or act in ways that support structures that allow all  parents (moms,dads,guardians) to raise their families the way they choose. I know my life would be easier - and healthier - if I could work from home part of the week and if I knew my husband wouldn't get a reprimand if he had to take a sick day to take our little one to the doctor. 

I'm looking forward to seeing our discussion work as a catalyst for change. How do you think we can do it together?  

Notions of Identity

If there wasn't, we wouldn't be having this conversation.  I'm an unreconstructed pro-choice feminist and I felt that I had to stand up for Ms. Palin despite the fact that I find her politics repugnant.

http://sandradginzburg.typepad.com/inner_city_mama/

Sandy

Dr. Laura said that she doesn't believe that Sara Palin is a good role model. I disagree. She's showing her daughters how to be strong in the face of opposition, how to pursue their talents and dreams, and how to make a difference in the world, even if others don't support you. Her oldest daughter is pregnant, aren't those the messages she needs to hear and see lived out before her?

Andhonestly, my husband does just as much parenting as I do. His accepting the role of Vice President would impact my daughter just as much as if I did.

Go for it, Sara! 

I think about the Dad thing here a lot - my husband is a much much better "mother" than I am.   So I do feel it is disrespectful to the "first dude" (love that title).

I also think a lot about the fact that I might not have the energy to have 5 kids and do what Sarah is doing, BUT I'm so glad someone does -- because someone who knows juggling can be up there in politics and perhaps address some of the issues that busy families (not just kids, but caring for elder parents, family members, etc) deal with.

Thanks for the post Katherine!