Can we all just collectively agree that life changed when we had children and stop talking about it?
By stephzilla on May 23, 2014
Each night, I walk to my bedroom and look at the inviting bed and prepare to snuggle up with my man and watch some tv. I slip into my boyfriends white tee shirt and slide into those cold silky sheets and close my eyes, when suddenly, my son yells out that he needs water. I've tried everything from leaving a bottle of water by his bed to telling him to get water beforehand. And each night, I think to myself, "Why can't I just sit down for two minutes?"
Here's why I can't... I decided that the world needed to have a smaller version of me walking around. I planned for it, lost countless nights of sleep anticipating it, and shoved it into everyones face when he finally got here. "Look! Everyone tell me what a beautiful baby I have created".
Don't take that the wrong way. I love him to the moon and back. Yes, I personally did not know what unconditional love meant until I had my son. That's not to say that other childless people don't. I personally, did not. Now I do. Having a child has helped me to grow as a person, a friend, a girlfriend, sister and daughter.
But life changed. What was once carefree Saturday afternoons are now spent cleaning, cooking and driving around a little one to various practices or parties. "Lazy" Sundays now consist of endless Pokemon games or playing in the backyard. I now spend the weekends running around with my child and a man who sometimes helps me.
Of all of the joy my child has brought me, I owe him more than to sit around feeling sorry for myself wishing I could get a nap. I brought him here, not to post Facebook photos of the cool stuff that I do for him, not to shame others into being better parents, not to get some sort of affirmation to my parenting skills, not to raise a genius, but to bring a functioning member of society into the world. I wanted to add more to my family.
So yes, life has changed. Nothing will ever be the same. It's a story that has played out for generations and generations. I'm living it out today and so are you. But nobody cares really that you haven't slept in weeks or haven't been able to drink a cup of coffee by yourself for two years. They don't care that all I really want is a quiet dinner out. So could we all agree that yes, life sucks somewhat after children. Could we spend more time nodding in silent agreement and less time publically wishing someone had told us it would be this hard? Is isn't really all that bad is it?
by Rita Arens
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