JCK
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When not madly trying to survive with children less than 10 months apart, JCK can be found on her blog: Motherscribe. There you will find her explorin...
 
 
 
 

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Can We Stop Using the Word Tramp?

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Little GIrl in BikiniOver the last 10 years, the sexualizing of younger and younger girls has become a hot ticket item. Overwhelming in its scope, and fueled by retail sales, business is booming, and like it or not...we are assaulted by little girls “looking hot" on a daily basis.

Perhaps most outrageous of all, has been Abercrombie & Fitch with their marketing of thongs to 10 year old girls several years ago, to introducing The Ashley push-up bikini bra this year. Originally marketed to 7 year old girls, The Ashley was upgraded after public outcry, to the 12 year old girl market. "We've re-categorized the Ashley swimsuit as padded. We agree with those who say it is best 'suited' for girls age 12 and older." Not to be left behind, is Juicy Couture with the word Juicy cutely emblazoned on the derrieres of little girls' pants.

Two years ago, I was compelled to write about this topic when my 4 year old daughter was invited to a Makeover Party.  As a mother of a now 6 year old little girl, I am alarmed for her, and for all of us. Why are we closing our eyes to this subversive continuum, this backlash to The Women's Movement that our mothers, and generations of women before us, worked so bloody hard on? Because it is all connected. Just follow the dots...

What better way of putting girls and young women in their place than telling them their entire worth to our society is in their desirability. And... that they better get started on being sexy NOW. In Elementary school.

Fast becoming a malaise of our media driven culture, telling our young girls that they are the sum of their looks, and that their looks better be sexy, is damaging, and reprehensible. The intensity of peer pressure, and the assault of sexualized images in magazines, movies and television is oppressive. Like all children their age, they want to fit in. And, who can blame them. Which is worse? Young girls being victims of our societal apathy, or young girls emulating us? Because we are responsible here, people.

As if that weren't enough, bring on The Tramp Stamp, a lower back tattoo, used "to emphasize sexual attractiveness." Looking like "a Tramp" is fast becoming a rite of passage for many young women.

Girls dress suggestively, because our society's message is that it gives them POWER. You will have everything if you have the attention of men. But, when girls wrap themselves up in seductive packages, they don't have The Power. They have given it all away.

TRAMP. Whether using the word as an epithet or embracing it (a.k.a., The Tramp Stamp), the word incites an emotional reaction in all of us. Because what we are really saying is that a girl or a woman is only the sum of her ....body parts. Calling another human being "a tramp" puts a label on that person. An otherness. Because, oh no... we are not like her or them. And, if we are asking parents not to dress their children like tramps, aren't we really saying...Parents, don't dress your girls like them?

Perhaps the bigger question is: Can we stop using the word TRAMP? Are we capable of having this conversation without the labels?

Encouraging young women to dress seductively goes much deeper than appearances. We encourage it when we frequent stores that sell these products. And...when we close our own front door, breathing a sigh of relief that our daughter doesn't look like that other girl, the one across the street.

So, what can we do? Yes, we can stop shopping at stores that sell provocative clothing for girls. We can stop purchasing those items for our daughters. But, we have to dig deeper. We have to talk with our daughters. The onus is on us. And, we better buck up...because it isn't going to be easy.

When our children ask us to buy pieces of clothing that perpetuate the sexualizing of girls, we not only have to say NO. We have to explain why. I don't want you to look like a tramp... is a dead-end. There needs to be a deeper conversation.

Imposing an adult sexuality on young girls deprives them of the

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JCK 5 pts

Thanks so much for all the thought provoking comments. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read, and have the conversation. You all raise excellent points.

I love that a few of you have brought up the definition of the word Tramp, and all of its connotations. I originally had that as part of the post, but it just got too long...

Just wanted to clarify a few points on what my meaning is in the post. I absolutely agree that women are sexual beings and should have freedom to express themselves as they wish. They are adults, and can make those decisions.

I am saddened that so many women are embracing the Tramp Stamp, as in my opinion what they are saying is here I am -have sex with me, this is what I'm all about. And, this is the most IMPORTANT thing about me. Putting a large tattoo on one's lower back is a pretty loud message. And, because of messages like this, it makes it too easy for women to not be taken seriously. Which feeds into sexism and a whole host of problems. Boy, could we have a discussion about that!

As far as little girls, it is such a confusing time. Here they are going to pick out a Halloween costume, and the choices are a French Maid or a rock star, both with very little clothing. (Yes, we don't have to buy into it, but just want to point out that it is FRONT & CENTER.) They're invited to Makeover parties at 5, and Girls Life magazine has articles on how to get the boy. Our girls (and parents) are inundated. It is so hard to weed through.

I feel that labels are dangerous, and yet so facile to use, aren't they? If we are to have compassion for ALL women and girls, how do we do that without saying - OK, I don't want my daughter to dress like YOU. To me that speaks of cattiness, and taking the easy way out. I am better than you. You dress like a Tramp. I am you and you are other. (And, Vice-Versa.)

Maybe we need to get to WHY girls and women think that is the way to present themselves.

I think being a prostitute is a very different thing. Someone is choosing that as a business. They go to work and that is what they do. I imagine they spend very little time, other than work, at wearing clothing that presents them as "loose women." (Just using that as a phrase, not my belief.) Somehow, I imagine them in comfy sweats and a t-shirt, when off work. :) I could be very wrong.

At the risk of going on and on, which I have, I want my daughter and all of our girls to grow up in a world of choice. To be able to explore who they are, grow and stretch into their unique gifts. I hope that we will give them those choices, as it seems like the vision is narrowing rather than widening. I do not believe the messages we are sending and buying into are what Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan and Marlo Thomas and Erica Jong and ....all of those who fought for us, envisioned.

Thanks again for the conversation, and well thought out comments.

JCK can be found on Motherscribe ( http://motherscribe.blogspot.com )

theinside_story 5 pts

While I mostly agree with you (I think?), your argument re: the word "tramp" is unclear. You write:

"what we are really saying [when we call someone a tramp] is that a girl or a woman is only the sum of her ....body parts."

A "tramp" is a sexually promiscuous woman, and/or a prostitute. What we are saying when we call someone a tramp is that they are sexually promiscuous/a prostitute, that they appear sexually promiscuous, or that they look like a woman who actively solicits sex for money. The reason this is a bad thing to call someone is primarily because our society insists that women who are sexual *do not have value,* even as it maintains that we must be sexually desirable at all times. This paradox is part and parcel of the idea that women are objects for the gratification of (heterosexual) men, and it appears to me that this is an attitude you are perpetuating when you write:

"But, when girls wrap themselves up in seductive packages, they don't have The Power. They have given it all away."

"Whether in slander or owning it, the meaning is the same. A woman is either being devalued or is devaluing herself."

Women are not commodities. They do not have a set "value" which can be raised or lowered depending on their sexual conduct or dress. Sex and sexual expression do not diminish us as human beings, and this kind of thinking merely reinforces the idea that we only have value if we act the way "Good Girls" ought to. What is this if not an attempt to put women in their place by reducing their value to their bodies?

You might find this link interesting: http://www.blogher.com/madonna-whore-dichotomy-wha... ( http://www.blogher.com/madonna-whore-dichotomy-wha... )

For what it's worth, I agree that the sexualisation of children is wrong - but because they're children, not because "dressing like a tramp" (how the hell do "tramps" dress, anyway?) is in itself a bad thing. If we really want women to be treated like human beings, that means allowing them to be sexual beings too. You may lose respect for a woman who dresses "like a tramp" (or is a "tramp" or acts like a "tramp"), but that does not diminish her worth as a human being, nor should it. Women have both bodies and minds and should not be taught to dismiss the value of either. IMHO, *that* is what I'd like my hypothetical daughter to learn.

beth mg 5 pts

I don't actually have a problem with saying someone looks like a tramp if they, say, look like a tramp. "Tramp" is a description of a set of characteristics. Just like "nerd" or "drama queen" or "passive aggressive sister-in-law." Of course, up until the 1920s, the characteristics of a tramp were more the "wandering about, as a vagabond," and not so much the "flaunting oneself, as a promiscuous woman." Language does have a life of its own.

Nevertheless, there's nothing inherently wrong with using labels; we'd be linguistically challenged without them. It's true that if you say that someone looks "like a tramp," then you are, in fact, saying that someone else (the person who serves as your reference point) IS a tramp. And so? There you have it. You say she's devaluing herself. So, how does it help her if I call it something else instead? It doesn't change the fact that she's devaluing herself.

Perhaps what I derive from your dislike of the word is that we should not give up on those who make such devaluing choices, for sometimes we label something and then dismiss it. I'm all for labeling something and then dealing with it. Which, I think, is what LZ Granderson is doing in his piece, encouraging us to recognize the behaviors that we as parents are modeling or, at least, allowing, and telling us to stop it already!

Brenda M 5 pts

I am still in shock about a make over party at 4... It's a tough world out there, and the more we can give our girls, strength, how to love the skin they are in, be proud of themselves in all their glory, etc., is the best gift we can give them. Great Post.

Brenda

Jane Byers Goodwin 5 pts

"Tramp" has many meanings; "whore" is only one of them. It's funny, albeit also sad, that students often come across the word in the "hobo" context, and can't conceive of it as anyhthing but "whore." This gives stories a unique twist.

They also get confused when someone is described as "tramping down the lane." "Let's all go for a good tramp" had one of my favorite reactions.

These people are generally not readers. Avid readers know context.

My suggestions? People should read more. Look up the word "context" and use it. And don't dress like a tramp.

Now I want to use "tramp" on my next midterm exam, just to get some hilarious reactions.

I am a word person, and a user of context.

P.S. Why is "I don't want you to look like a tramp" not a good answer? I think it's a great answer. Well, unless the parent looks like a tramp, in which case. . . moot point.

As for the tramp stamp tattoo, I just figure that a person who wants the universe to have an up close and personal look at her butt crack art probably IS a tramp, and not the hobo kind.

People of WalMart, indeed.

"Don't be content with being average. Average is as close to the bottom as it is to the top."

Jane blogs as "Mamacita" at Scheiss Weekly, ( http://janegoodwin.net/ )hitting the fan like nobody can.

LorraineDevonWilke 5 pts

There is critical mass going on that starts here, with little girls dressing like hookers and emulating the heightened sexuality of pop and reality stars, leading to pre and teen body issues and eating disorders, coming round to self-esteem challenges when the vacuous contingent of boy disses them for not being hot enough, leading to a teenager getting cosmetic surgery to "freshen up" before appearing on "Glee," to nips and tucks and plumping and distorting every movable body part until we get a woman who looks like a replicant and it utterly terrified of aging because without being "hot" she is...nothing.

And it all starts with thongs for 8 year olds.

I agree, the most powerful tool we have is our parental relationship with these bombarded and beleaguered little girls. TALK. Discuss what is going on in the current culture. Don't be afraid to talk about sex and attractiveness and leave no stone unturned in making them realize they are SO much more than the sum of their body parts.

Great article, Jennifer; succinct and pointed and hopefully it will stir some necessary debate. The only way we can keep our kids grounded to some meaning in this world of reality TV, Facebook, and every other outlet that demands hotness and sexuality, is to stay connected and often remind them of the simpler, more soulful aspects of life.