Can You Hear Me Now?

What is with children and their hearing? Mine cannot hear a word I say. I will be speaking to them 2 feet in front of them and they carry on as if no one has said a word. Seriously. The do not look at me, nod their head or acknowledge me in any way. They just continue doing whatever it is I am telling them not to do.

Such as, jump on the couch; climb up the banister; slide down the stairs; try to kill their sister; write on the walls; yell; scream or throw things. These are their favorite things to do, and clearly against the rules.

My husband and I can speak in a normal, but firm voice, yell, scream, threaten, spank, take things away, give time outs, and bribe, and nothing, I mean NOTHING will get them to stop. They might (because they are forced to acknowledge us and listen) say they understand and they won’t do it again (whatever “it” is), but they always do. Usually 5 minutes later and right in front of us.

And now? They are teaching their evil ways to my precious baby!! Over the weekend, Daddy caught Nita climbing onto Jemima’s toy chest and then onto her dresser and juming off. All the while singing in the tune of “This is the way we wash our hair” “This is the way we climb the dresser, climb the dresser and jump on the ground!” Are you fucking kidding me?! And of course, at nearly 18 months, Jemima imitates us. She climbs on the couch and jumps up and down and jumps off of it.

I can’t take it!!! Why don’t they listen to me? Or their father? Why don’t they have any respect for us? I know damn well they do not behave like this at school. So why at home? Why act as if I am not even speaking?!

Oh and let us not forget the attitude. Are they 5 and 6 or 15 and 16?! Sometimes I do not know. Their tone of voice and their snotty attitudes really have me wondering. I get anything from “Oooo KAY!” to “Whatever!” (again, are you fucking kidding me?) to eye rolls and “I heard you!”

Seriously. It takes a lot to keep me from putting a pillow over their faces until the noise stops. Much less not slapping their rebellious little faces right off!

Is this normal? Is this what happens to kids at this age? WTF am I doing wrong? When will it end?!


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