Can you teach an old cat new tricks?
I really can use some new pointers….
Hi! It is me, Alex! And I need help…..
First, let me fill you in about my week. It hasn’t been too great, let me tell you. It has been very disappointing to say the least….
On Wednesday, my dad was supposed to have a dinner meeting. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t like when he leaves, but if it is only him, I get to have a “date” with my mom. And, that is fun. Especially if she cracks open the tunie and gives me a tunie juice cocktail. I had my heart set on one… But did I get it?
Why you ask?
Because my stupid daddy’s meeting got canceled and what did he do? He went out to dinner with my mom. He had a date with her…. Not me, as planned… BUMMER!
Then Thursday they also went out to dinner.
Then Friday they went out to dinner at their friend’s house. And, if that wasn’t bad enough, I smelt
D-O-G on my mom…. She cheated on me… The NERVE!
But, I am a tough man cat. I handle my disappointment well. Although I do tend to get a case of the munchies when I am a little sad and upset, and that is what happened. I gobbled up my dinner early, and by 2:00 AM I was starved.
I meandered upstairs to my parents’ bedroom and tried to wake them. I pulled out all the stops. I gently tapped their faces. I gently tapped their heads. I slowly walked on their backs. But what did I get in return? Nothing…NADA! ZIP!!!!!!!
I then stepped up my game. I after all…. Desperate times call for desperate measures, don’t they? Gone was Mr. Nice Cat… Slowly but surely my gentle taps replaced by more forceful ones. They did nothing… All that happened was my parents rolled over and fell back to sleep.
I wasn’t going to stand for that, not after everything they’ve done lately. No sir! I was not going to be ignored! So I started scratch… First slowly, sweetly… Again, nothing… What was a man cat to do? I had no choice. I had put all my might into it. And I did. My scratches got stronger more forceful and more deliberate. I’m sure breakfast would be forthcoming… But again I was wrong… Those lazy the parents of mine made me wait, practically starving to death, until the ungodly hour of 7 AM. Seriously people, is this nuts or not?
Obviously, my tactics aren’t working. I need help… I need my parents be better trained; I need them to react quicker to my every wish and desire. Their lackadaisical attitude about when my breakfast is served has to stop. NOW! Making me wait till 7 AM is just ridiculous!
I’m open to suggestions… How can I get my parents on the ball?
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