Candy Crush Is My Sugar Rush: Diary Of An Addict

 

Sugar Crush!!!  I did it...the damned jellies are cleared and all those nasty little ingredients are down.  I've got full lives and am giddy with success! Leaping off the couch proud of my accomplishment, I know that even though my mother, brother and sister- in -law are still ahead of me in levels and in points, they work and I don't, so I'm feeling pretty confident I can catch up.

I've got a cramp in my thumb, and whenever I close my eyes, I see orange ovals, purple flowers, and little red hot dogs or candy canes; I can't decide which.  At night, in my sleep, I swap, I strategize and I watch striped candies crush together to blast through all obstacles. I win and I realize I have a problem.

I've gone to the grocery store and planned dinner.  I've done some laundry and the house is relatively clean.  I've got a great book that I need to finish, but my phone is just sitting there, calling to me, tempting me.  "You are about to enter a new part of the saga, come to me, play, play, play."

It's getting dark and I'm hungry, but I decide that since I am almost out of lives and will get timed out in a minute I can eat then.  Forget Weight Watchers or diet pills; I'm living the Candy Crush diet; no time to eat until the mean game gives you a time out like a badly behaved child.  Or maybe more like a sick junkie.

Unfortunately, it's the end of the day and I've used up all of my lives.  I mourn for the rush I get first thing in the morning when I open my eyes from my candy crush dreams to realize that I'm back to full lives and am being invited to play. My Facebook friends, generous as they are can't keep up with my requests for new lives throughout the day.  It seems they have their own lives to live.  How callous.

My husband arrives home from work.  I can't talk, I can't look up.  This level is timed; my heart is pounding and I'm sweating.  I know I'm about to lose; I'm doomed, but have a few moves left and if I can just swap this one purple candy for the yellow, I will be able to smash two stripes together with a big speckled ball and wipe out the screen.

He's talking; I'm trying to feign attention all while my fingers are swapping candies.  No, no, no....I'm out of moves!  Not with three striped candies left; it can't be, it's so unfair, it's tragic really.  I'm visibly shaken and really, really mad.  If not for his untimely interruption, I would've crushed it, I'm sure.  I'm denied my "Sugar Crush!" victory and the sweet joy of watching the screen blow up colorful candies.  Instead, I get, "you've failed.  You did not remove all the jelly." I put my phone down in shame and turn my attention to my husband wondering, "what could possibly so interesting?"

I know I need help and I know I'm wasting valuable time.  But how bad can it really be?  It's not like it's online poker or 3 vodka tonics every night....right?  I've got to get a grip, but my mom, brother and sister- in- law just sent me lives.  Gotta go.

Are you a Candy Crush addict???

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