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People say that love is blind, that it makes you go weak in your knees, that when you are in love you can’t sleep, you lose your appetite. And some say that love fades with time, that you take it for granted and it is simply lost after a while. But none of these hurt like an unrequited love. All this because I’m in love with a man who will not love me back. And yet I willingly love him.
I can not sleep because every time I close my eyes I see his face, I think about the way he made me feel. I can not sleep because I spend every second hoping that he would think about me and leave me a message or call me, even if it is just to ask me if I am alright. But of course he doesn’t and I wonder if I don’t deserve even that amount of courtesy, for all the days I spent listening to his every word and doing everything he asked me to.
Then I go over every little detail and wonder what I did wrong. He asks me to move on and be happy, but now that I have given everything I have, I feel so empty and I don’t know if I could love any one any more. I love him so much that I feel somehow it’s my fault, it’s my misunderstanding,and I can’t be mad at him, so I sit here punishing myself.
Worst part of this, I still have to smile, I still have to pretend I am happy, for him, for the world and it’s taking so much out of me that I don’t know how much longer I can go on…
"A mighty pain to love it is,
And 'tis a pain that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love, but love in vain."
- Abraham Cowley
