Car Dancing - A Dazzling Way to Embarrass Your Child
I love to drive. I love to dance. I love to embarrass my children. What could be better in life than combining three of my loves in one activity? Welcome to car dancing!
The first ingredient you need is a child in the car, preferably two with one in the front seat. It is harder to hide when you are in the front. Next you need very loud, happy music with a beat that is easy to dance to. The finally ingredient, a wacky mother that is not afraid that the people in the next car thinks she is crazy. A bonus ingredient is heavy traffic with lots of stoplights. It’s no fun if you are in the country and the only thing that can see you is the herd of cattle across the road.
Like most people, if I hear a fun song on the radio I will either sing along, or tap my foot or drum the beat out on my steering wheel. But having children has raised the level of my enjoyment to listening to music in the car. If you are going to engage in car dancing that will result in the embarrassment of your children, you can’t just tap your fingers or nod your head to the beat of the music. The music must transform you back to the days when you were a clubbing queen.
The more body parts involved the higher the embarrassment level. Bunny sits in the back seat buckled into her booster seat. As Latin as she is, I can’t coax her into participating. I have to keep turning around to see if she is still in the car. She sits mute just staring at her wacky mommy. Elle is 11 now and is much more fun to embarrass. When I start warming up to the music, I can tell she just wants to slither under the dashboard. When I break into full song at the top of my voice, with my hips swaying in my seat, my hands waving above the top of the steering wheel, my shoulders rolling and my head bouncing back and forth…I have reached maximum embarrassment level!
Both children just want the song to be over, or for mommy to get tired or for the light to turn green. It doesn’t matter but it just needs to happen quickly. My ultimate goal is not to humiliate them so much as to have them join me in my mini Studio 54, but if they won’t join me I guess I will just have to be content in their humiliation.
I think I might try grocery store dancing next. I wonder if that will have a higher embarrassment factor than car dancing?
What are your best examples of embarrassing your children?
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