Why Women Need Permission to Fall to Pieces

A dear friend of mine is having a rough time. Maybe not going into the witness protection program to avoid the Russian mafia (which does NOT exist by the way) kind of rough time, but as rough as us non-made-for-t.v.-movie type people can have. She is in the processing of saying goodbye to a beloved pet who has been failing for quite some time. Unfun. Not a day at the beach, not even the beach located next to a nuclear waste spill. But here she was, doing her best to sound brave and strong and apologizing for coming unglued.  I let that sink in for a moment....more

Coping with the Stresses of Elder Care: Speaking Up for Yourself

In my previous post about elder care issues, I came up with 10 ideas for managing the stresses of being a caregiver or care manager for elderly or ill parents. Here's the first one from the list: Learn how to speak up for what you need and what you want. Why is this even important? Whether it's leaving a doctor's office with a clear understanding of a medical issue, or knowing for certain that your parent's laundry will be done regularly, knowing what you want and asking for it is the best way to clean up your To Do list. ...more
Thank you Randy. I aprpreciate your comment. : )more

Stressed from Caregiving an Elderly Parent? 10 Tips for Coping.

  Stress is the constant companion of those who care for their aging parent(s). I know.  I've been there.  So, I'm not going to repeat all that's been written.  Instead, I want to go beyond the usual advice. I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but even so I think telling someone "be sure to take care of yourself" is a bit glib....more

Felix Takes a Trip to the Hospital

I looked out the window and smiled as I watched Felix, my 94 year old Father-in-law sitting in our front yard, head stretched back to bask in the sun.  His right hand was busy petting our dog Cookie's soft ears. He was smiling too and seemed to be soaking in the warmth of the sun.  I brought him out a glass of water and he sighed, "Do you have any idea how long it's been since I sat in the sun?" he asked....more

Perfection? Pffft!

The holidays make it worse, don't they? By October, it seems you can't turn a corner without running into a magazine or television show boasting headlines such as: "How to make the perfect holiday dinner for the gluten-free diabetic in your life!" "Get the perfect gift for that hard-to-shop for person!" "Host a perfect cookie swap in 30 minutes or less!"Perfect. Perfection. Please....more

Giving Women The Power to Hit Pause


What are we doing here, anyway?

What are we doing here, anyway? The ER doctor sat with his back to me, facing my aunt, speaking softly and slowly.  My heart sank as he first walked through the door...he looked to be about 16 years old...hair neatly pulled back into a long ponytail and he spoke with a slow, twangy West Virginia drawl...my only thought was that he looked like a 2011 version of Doogie Houser, MD...What on earth could this kid possibly know about geriatrics, Alzheimer's and what it's like to try ...more

She talks to angels...

Am I terrible for being just a little sad that my grandmother is no longer coming to "visit" my aunt now that the doctor's have started her on meds to help with the hallucinations? ...more

Mummy and the Jam Jar: Keep Your Sense of Humor When Dealing With Elderly Parents

Keep your sense of humor. It's become my new "pep talk" mantra to myself. After all, I'm a menopausal, single parent, soon to be empty-nester who is trying to restart a career and I have a mom who is in the moderate stages of dementia. That's a mouthful if there ever was one....more
@Ashleigh Burroughs Hi, This is SO true! Thanks for reading and come back again! Nancymore

15 Wishes

Fifteen years ago today, I sat in the corner of my bedroom in my parents’ house and bought the domain name, Caregiving.com. (You can read more about the story of Caregiving.com here .)In honor of Caregiving.com’s 15th anniversary, I’m sending you 15 wishes:1. I wish you love in your heart for your life, even when it seems this life can’t possibly be yours.2. I wish you forgiveness in your heart for your life, which might be neither what you wanted or expected....more