Carrots, Literal and Otherwise

In my quest to lead my extra poundage into the forest and leave it hopelessly lost, never to find me again, I have gone astray.

To start, I have mistaken several boxes of chocolate-covered cherries for wholesome vegetables.

And I've stretched the definition of exercise so far, it's given up and gone into hibernation.

What I need are carrots.

The literal kind are waiting for me at the super--they're easy. It's the
other kind, you know, the kind that make me stick with some reasonable
form of exercise, that are slim pickings.

So good old Saint Nick is buying me an exercise bike.

Now, I hear you saying, where's the carrot in that?
In itself, the exercise bike is rather an anti-carrot, I agree. But it
has several attractive features missing from other forms of
health-inducing movement:

  • Our living room is only seconds away from where I am.
  • I needn't bike through wind, rain, or dark spooky evenings to get to our living room.
  • I can visit our living room at three in the morning if I like.

I know, I know; so far no carrots, just fewer obstacles to health. Here's the carrot:

  • Our living room has a TV, a DVD player, and a huge stack of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine DVDs just waiting for me.
  • And Coupling DVDs. All four seasons.

Here's the clincher: I'm not allowed to have this carrot unless I'm on the bike, see?

Will report back on progress.


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