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What Do You Mean Vacations Don't Make You Happier? A Case for the Family Summer Vacation

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We’re a family-vacation-loving bunch. My husband and I take multiple trips during the summer with our two sons, as I did with my family when I was growing up. We just spent ten days doing the camping thing in mid-July and are preparing for our annual multi-generational family vacation to Emerald Isle, North Carolina at the end of August. We look forward to these trips all year, so when I heard that summer vacation won’t make you happier, I tried my hardest not to laugh out loud. But I failed.

I do agree that the return from vacation-land involves a bit of an emotional drop. It’s hard to get back into a routine with the kids. It’s hard to deal with the fact that the beach is not glimmering right outside our windows. It’s hard to get caught up on the sleep that we lost while staying up late exchanging old stories with family members or waking up early to catch the sunrise on the Atlantic. But the dip in mood soon passes, and life goes on.

What I don’t agree with is the pessimistic view of vacations in general. This article in Newsweek concentrated too hard on the things that can go wrong on vacation.

“For one thing, holiday trips are not 24/7 bliss. There are missed flight connections, disappointing hotels, bad food, and illness. Looking back on all that, once we’re back home, can understandably put a dent in our happiness.”

Or, you know, you could not be such a Negative Nancy about the fact that you just went on vacation, a thing not everyone is privy to on a regular basis.

Things do go wrong on vacation. Last year on our way home from the beach, we got stuck in a massive traffic jam at the bottle-neck of 77 near Wytheville, Virginia. (Why on Earth is that only one lane? Can’t anyone fix it? Before late August?) We got kind of grumpy. Earlier in the trip, I had an argument with my mother. But we worked it out, much like we eventually got through the traffic. When I think of last year’s vacation, those negatives aren’t what come to mind. Not at all.

I remember watching my youngest son dip his toes into the ocean for the very first time. I remember taking walks with my husband ... alone. I remember a meal that I made for the whole family that got rave reviews. I remember my husband buying me a pink fishing pole that lights up. I remember my oldest son giggling with glee as he jumped over the waves, his little beach shoes making that slopping-wet-beachy sound. I remember the smell. And the breeze. And the laughter. I could have focused on things gone wrong, but that’s not how my family rolls. Or vacations.

Vacation 2009

Another anti-summer-vacation argument recently covered in Time, is that the time off hurts kids’ progress in school. Perhaps. I understand that our family is privileged in the fact that we can make time and spend the money on these vacations. But our kids have earned their vacation time, as my husband and I have, by working hard at whatever they’re doing and learning during the year. Just because our oldest son isn’t actively in a classroom during the summer doesn’t mean that we’re not working with him on various aspects of his educational growth. But, to be honest, we don’t bring the workbooks on vacation. We might draw some letters in the sand, discuss why the sun “comes up earlier” at the beach (causing our oldest to rise earlier, too) or talk about tides, but we’re not doing science projects. Vacations are for relaxing (even if parents sometimes have to work during them). Kids deserve some relaxation, too.

So, while my kids may come out dumber and we may have a case of the Post-Vacation Grumpies come the first of September, we're still going on our family vacation. I'd be willing to bet money that we won't think, "Gee, I wish we would have spent that time drilling our sons on math." Or even, "I'm so upset we went on vacation and experienced all of those fun moments." Instead, I bet we'll be glad that we took the time for us, for our family.

Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom), from Stop, Drop and Blog and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land, is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

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Moose In My Yard 5 pts

As a kid who grew up without a lot of vacations, all I can say to the Negative Nancies is cry me a river. I have a really hard time feeling sorry for people who have the means to spend quality time with their families while traveling and experiencing new things. Of course things go wrong on vacations. Things go wrong sitting at home too. One of my best memories was a spring break trip to NYC with a group from my high school. We got stuck overnight in our van on the highway because of a snowstorm in the Poconos.
Vacations are what you make of them. If you want to focus on all the bad things, well, you get what you expect. If you go in expecting to have a great time, then you can have a great time too.
And for those really stressful days on vacation? That's why God made wine. Put the kids in bed and pour a glass ;)

http://mooseinmyyard.blogspot.com/

Katastrophes 5 pts

Summer vacations are very good educational experiences, and I'm not talking about hitting the books and getting them to work on summer projects here.
Take for example your stuck in traffic dilemma, or the example from Newsweek about missing flight connections, disappointing hotels, bad food and illness. All of these are way for our children to learn coping mechanisms, how to deal with negative experiences in a way that won't make them Negative Nancys.
Visits with relatives are a way for children to be exposed to different generations and glean some of the life experience from them.
Socialization is an important skill that children need to practice in order to become good at it. In this fast paced world of rigidly scheduled, fast paced and hectic routines, do children get a chance to just hang with their friends and learn how to socialize without an adult present to take their cues from?
As a child, summer was where I got to do most of my relaxed socialization. I didn't have to keep my eye fixed on my watch in fear of being late for dinner or curfew. I didn't have the worry of unfinished homework hanging over my head. And so I got to just kick back and relax with my friends, and I learned a lot about the ebb and flow of a conversation. I learned how to make great friends and even more importantly, how to keep them.
Is our society so hung up on our children's book learning that we're raising a generation of socially delayed people who will feel more comfortable conversing with others through Facebook, Twitter and texting than with a face to face, honest to goodness person?

Kathy333 5 pts

In my opinion, our life is one big crazy vacation! We love taking trips with our two daughters, and while someone inevitably gets into a fight/winds up sick/throws up all over the car (that would be our cross country trip - yes, five days of vomit - a few years ago), we still have a great time. I wouldn't trade our vacations for the world! (And we always have something funny to talk about!)

Kathy

Allbusiness:Working Mothers ( http://www.allbusiness.com/bio/kathy-murdock/29846... )

Mama Marathoner ( http://www.mamamarathoner.com )

&am

mcwhclan 5 pts

I think it also depends on your family. I have had some NIGHTMARES of family vacations involving vomitting in tents, angry fights and turning that car right around and going home. No, really. I have also had summers off and just planned local trips with my family. That was lovely.

We have one child with special needs and travelling with her can be a nightmare. She is out of her comfort zone, her sense of security is gone, and there is no place for her to escape to. Throw in in-laws (both his and mine) into that mix, and it can be a recipe for disaster.

Ug, still thinking about the vomit and camping... not cool.

blogging about life stuff at http://mcwhclan.wordpress.com

moonstruckcrab 5 pts

Times really said that? It slows down a kid's progress? I am utterly shocked. Who is making all this news worthy. If anything children only get smarter if you have a fun filled vacations with parents who love them, it broadens one's horizon, children meet new people, learn different things that are impossible to imbibe when sitting inside brick walls! Cheers to you for taking those vacations... I think it is a very important thing in a kid's life.

TheBlackTortoise 5 pts

Vacations are great memory makers. Sometimes those memories are nightmares that turn into funny stories.

From my experience, if you look at the vacation as an adventure, all will be fine; even the traffic jam and occasional fights. However, if everything has to be 'just so', look out. That's a recipe for disaster.

I think it's wise to have enough time to slip into a new groove, too. Move from scheduled, informed and motivated to available, open, and free-spirited.

Adela

Blogging at:

www.oncealittlegirl.wordpress.com ( http://www.oncealittlegirl.wordpress.com )

and

www.theblacktortoise.com ( http://www.theblacktortoise.com )