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I'm a child of God, wife to my husband, mom to my 4 kids (ages 10, 9, 6, and 4), photography, baking, and money-saving nut, and piano player, among o...
 
 
 
 

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Not That Frugal? Don't Worry, You Don't Have To Make Yogurt to Read Me

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You know, something odd happens when word gets out about your frugality. (I think it's safe to say that word has gotten out about mine!) Even though it's not my intention at all, as a result of my incessant frugal blogging, other people are feeling guilty for spending more on groceries than I do, for not making yogurt, for not baking bread, for using their dryer exclusively, and for a multitude of other things.

This reaction, I think, may be a result of the "more-frugal-than-thou" attitude that has a tendency to pervade the frugal blogosphere, but I want no part of that, thank you very much.

I do want to say, right here and right now, that no one has an obligation to live their lives just the way I live mine, nor do I think it would be a good idea for everyone to be just like me. When I post on The Frugal Girl, I'm not trying to convert everyone to my way of living. I simply want to share my life with you in the hope that you might find some helpful information or inspiration.

For example, if you want to make yogurt, I want to help you do it well. If you don't want to make yogurt, I'm not going to try to guilt you into doing it. Your life is different than mine, which means that yogurt-making may not be the best way to spend your time each week. I'm certainly not in a place to judge that.

The same goes for your grocery budget. You shouldn't feel bad if you need to spend more than $100 a week to feed your family. Maybe your family has larger appetites than mine do (that's quite likely, actually! Though we don't starve ourselves at all, none of us here at Chez Frugal Girl has the appetite or build of a football player). Maybe you have teenagers instead of gradeschoolers, maybe you buy all organic, maybe you work full-time and can't cook from scratch as much as I do, maybe you buy healthier food than I do, or maybe you live in an area where food is more expensive.

If you want help in reducing your grocery budget, I'm happy to be of assistance, but I would never want someone to feel discouraged or hopeless because they couldn't manage with the $100/week budget that works for me. Heck, Money Saving Mom feeds her family of five (two parents, two little girls, and a baby) on $40 a week, and I don't think I need to stress out about that. She's got a different set of circumstances than I do (smaller kids, slightly smaller family, midwest prices, and a diet different from ours), and $40 meets their needs currently. I don't think I could make it work for us, but that's ok.

The bottom line is that you need to do what works for you and your family, not what works for me and my family.

And contrary to what people sometimes think, I don't spend a lot of time stressing about the way that other people spend their money. I know that my frugal ways are quite a ways toward the over-the-top end of the spectrum, and I don't expect everyone else to be inspired enough to maintain the level of frugality I do. Everyone has their own set of strength and weaknesses, and while one of my strengths is frugality, some not-so-frugal people out there have strengths in areas that are weaknesses for me.

Really, the only time I think much about other people's spending habits is when they complain about not having enough money but continue to spend like there's no tomorrow. In cases such as those, I admit to occasionally thinking things like, "What in the world is wrong with you??" but as a general rule, I have a very live-and-let-live approach to other people's money.

So, when you read my blog and find something helpful, great! I'm glad to have been able to serve you. But if you read something that's not at all helpful or possible for you, just ignore it and carry on. ;) I want my blog posts to leave you not feeling discouraged, hopeless and condemned, but encouraged, inspired and equipped to do a good job of managing your money, your family, and your home in your own unique way.

Which will, of course, be a little different than my way.

And that's just fine.

____________________________________

Kristen

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MauiFarmlet.com 5 pts

Aloha from Maui! There have been months and years that I have read blogs like yours - not always to necessarily do all the wonderful things you write about, but to 'experience' new interests and live vicariously. But it's been amazing how so many of those activities and projects that many months ago I would have thought impossible for me to do now seem very possible. You never know how you'll be inspired. I truly believe that blogs like yours and others on the BlogHer network helped give me that extra support to do my 'next big thing' - follow my dream to leave the corporate world and sustainably farm in my hometown of Hawaii - bringing back community and village-model agriculture, where folks trade and share, and care for the land and each other. Going from software and board meetings to pigs and papayas seemed plausible when there are so many inspiring folks sharing their stories online, proving that all things are possible if you set your mind to it!

ynnej 5 pts

I am glad you said that...cause I admit I do feel guilty sometimes that I can't seem to shave more off the budget. But you're right, I do work full time in addition to taking care of a baby, and we do buy mostly organic and live in one of the higher-cost grocery areas. I had never thought of it that way.

Along the same lines, that's how I feel about the "green" aspect of my main blog. I don't expect everyone to cloth diaper or to search obsessively for items that don't contain phthalates or foods without PHO's...I just know that I often search for information on avoiding those things and if I find some way to do it, I post it so that anyone else who might be looking can find it too. I don't mind if other people don't feel the need for all that info :-)

http://www.ConscientiousConfusion.com

http://www.afamilyis.us

thedofca 5 pts

Dee

One tries not to judge but sometimes it's too difficult not to. My husband and I left a restaurant the other evening. We both noticed the couple across from us had ordered two molten lava cake desserts. Each had eaten half of their dessert and left the rest. Both my husband and I could not help commenting that it might have made more sense to order one dessert and have it split. However, perhaps they were on a first date or something. I will try not to judge.

CherylK 5 pts

What a good post! That's a terrific philosophy for life in general, actually. So now I'm going to go check out your blog...I think I'll like it :-)

"If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere"

Lake Mary Musings ( http://www.lakemarymusings.com )

Condo Blues 5 pts

I feel the same way when I blog too, not just about saving money but frugal living too. Some that works for me may not for you and what works for you may not work for me - we don't eat that much yogurt so I buy it :)

I think we can all learn from our similarities and differences. That's the great thing about reading blogs that aren't quite in your chosen niche!

Condo Blues Green living and money saving tips http://condo-blues.blogspot.com/

The Bake-Off Flunkie 5 pts

I think you're awesome. You can't take responsibility for how some people feel after reading your posts. They feel how they choose to feel. I'm sure you're inspiring to many more people than people you hear complaints from. Keep up all the awesome stuff you do! :)

Tiffiny

JennaHatfield 10 pts

You have some good points for blogging in general, not just frugal blogging. I see it in the adoption blogosphere all too frequently: someone feels judged or put out by someone else's journey. Trolling happens. Things get nasty and messy. Meanwhile the truth is that we all have our own stories and it's a-okay.

That said, I'm way too scared to make my own yogurt. I am. If I ever get over that fear, I'll hit you up. ;)

@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom ) from Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and
The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com )