By Andrea Chmelik on October 31, 2012
A friend of mine sent me a link to a blog post with cats' resumes recently. I couldn't help but make one myself. Instead of writing one for each of our cats, I have decided to do one that would fit the stereotypical idea of a feline. Hopefully our cats won't read it. The last thing you ever want to do is to offend a cat's ego.
Here it is:
An accomplished individual with superior purring, attention demanding, fur shedding and hairball releasing skills. A detail oriented multi-tasker with the confidence to use claws and teeth. Seeking to be a part of an attentive environment that enforces excessive petting and demands exceptional focus to achieve complete feline satisfaction.
- Successful in destroying valuable objects by proven method of urinating on them
- Reliable in covering work clothes in fur shortly before departure, even when no notice given
- Expert in feline posterior licking, not limited to one's own
- Adept in scratching furniture, without discriminating
- Proficient in chasing invisible objects
- Accomplished in aimless jumping into the wall
- Unprecedented hunter killer reflexes that allow to selectively ignore masters' requests for spider elimination
- Ability to hide and effectively ignore calling of masters
- Excellent hissing skills
- The Best Nap Award recipient (years 2002 - 2012)
- The Most Self Groomed Animal Award recipient (years 2002 - 2012)
If you feel worthy of my services, please send me a catnip plant and I will send you a request for an interview in return.
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