Catty Girls Become Catty Women

In every high school, there was an "in" crowd, roaming the halls, casting snide looks, dishing out even snottier comments, essentially causing terror for all.  Oh yeah and they occasionally attended classes.  Of course I did not escape these girls, I am the rule, not the exception.  I was your average, in no crowd, type of girl.  Your basic easy prey.  I remember standing in front of my closet for hours wondering how on earth I would come up with a "cool" ensemble suitable for 7:30am the following morning.  Something to allow me to blend in, or if to stand out, for good reasons, not bad ones!  A difficult feat when your algebra homework is also demanding your attention.  Sigh. 

To me, it seemed unfair that these girls hadn't heard of the word budget, as they paraded around every day with a new, expensive outfit.  Haircuts and hi-lights to boot!  My mom was NOT the kind of mom who pulled their kid out of class to get their hair done.  But those were the "it" girls, skipping eighth period to get that perfect golden hue on their tresses.  Can you imagine?

I did, however, have the kind of mom who assured me that these material things were both meaningless and frivolous.  She also promised me that this would all evaporate sometime after graduation.  Well, mom, you got that one wrong.  Sorry!  But I don't blame her.  I think my mom's generation saw the catty woman turn into the normal human being post-high school (for the most part).  However, our generation is different.

I blame reality television (I mean really, that's the fantastic part of reality tv, you can blame it for everything!).  But seriously, we have this ridiculous picture of how moms "should be" on television.  They walk around in bikinis, botox-ed, and clad in super high-heels all the time.  And why not?  We forget that they are getting paid to do that and we trick ourselves into feeling inadequate.  And at the heart of it, inadequacy breeds the catty woman species.  

And so with the growth of reality television (I'm still hoping and praying for its inevitable implosion to hurry up and happen already.), so grows the species of bitchy, catty women.  These women convince other women that natural childbirth is ludicrous and unnecessary.  "When will you feel good enough to put on your makeup? You will have hospital visitors," one woman said to me.  Makeup in the hospital?  Now that's unnecessary!  

Once we got over that little hurdle, I thought I was finished with that breed of lady.  After all, baby girl has received many clothes from many generous people.  I can happily dress her up in the cutest, most fashion forward ensembles each and every day (several times in fact, thanks to all the spit up).  

But these women still find their ways to make digs at the ordinary woman's choices.  This time with breastfeeding.  Some remark to me that they can't imagine "finding the time" to nurse their child.  What?  You can't find time for your child?  Priorities anyone?  Others say that it's gross.  To me, it is the most beautiful thing in the world.  It is a bond between mother and child that no other pair can have.  

I know that nursing my baby is the best thing for her.  I know it to be a certainty and it makes me realize something.  Something that I wish I could go back and tell my fifteen year old self, " know what you're doing! You have great instincts and you're a good person!  Ignore 'em!" I may not know what I'm doing all the time, but I'm trying my best.  I'm happy.  

I feel that my happiness is what keeps me from being catty myself.  I wish more happiness for others so that we could stop putting each other down and we could start picking each other up instead.  We have enough to deal with in life, we don't need to add each other to the list!  

Do you still encounter a 'catty woman' in your life?  How do you deal with her?


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