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Liz Rizzo lives in Los Angeles, works in entertainment, and aims to direct film & television. Dreamer since 1971, Angelino since 2002, blogger si...
 
 
 
 

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Celebrating Single on Valentine's Day

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There was a Valentine's Day, not too long ago, when I was miserable. I was new to a big city, I was lonely, and I didn't want to be single. I vividly remember glowering in an elevator as my current crush - who wasn't remotely interested in me - got on and rode up 11 floors with me. I was a hurricane of anger and frustration inside that I tried desperately to keep to myself.

Part of me wishes I could go back and shake that girl out of it, but you know what? No. Because sometimes - single or coupled - life sucks. And sometimes the suck hits Valentine's Day. And if it's that bad for you, you what? Just feel it. Be miserable. Maybe this is that year for you. It's OK. It happens. And it will pass.

Since then, I've had Valentine's Days with dates, Valentine's Days with breakups, Valentine's Days with friends, and Valentine's Days with just me. Mostly, and usually, I am all about having some fun on Valentine's Day. And yes, you can have a happy Valentine's Day when you're single. You can celebrate a day that's all about love.

Yes, you can.

Love yourself, love your friends, love life - no matter how you're feeling about it right now. Hang up some hearts, wear some red, give some flowers (to someone else or yourself!), eat a treat. Not everyone enjoys the same things, but think about what you love, and then see if you can have a little of that on Valentine's Day. Let it be easy and casual.

There are some great ideas in this eHow article from ReuseItAll, How to Celebrate Valentine's Day if You are a Single Woman:

Valentine's Day is a day that we celebrate love! If you are a single woman you can still celebrate Valentine's Day! Why not think of fun ways to show LOVE to YOURSELF and to the people around you? Valentine's Day does not have to be JUST for couples!! Here are some terrific ways to celebrate Valentine's Day if you are a single woman!!

And I love this post from Denise Nilan on Mustang Daily, Valentine's Day: A love-hate relationship. She points to one of my major pet peeves:

Reason No. 2 Valentine's Day sucks: All of a sudden, everyone who is single decides they want to complain about it. I know that glittered hearts patronize everyone at every store, but that doesn't give anyone the right to be grumpy. The day is intended to celebrate love, and not just the romantic kind. There is nothing wrong with being single because you're not the only one. Someone loves you, even if it is only your mom. So you want to wear black to make some grand point about how upset you are that you're single and how you hate the idea of Valentine's Day? Original. That's attractive and uplifting. I wonder why you are single when you are beaming with such positivity?

And then she shares this key bit of wisdom: "What makes a good Valentine's Day is doing what you want to do, not what you are expected to do." EXACTLY!

So, I will leave you with this: Five Reasons Why I love Valentines Day by wideeyedeggplant on BBQ Chicken Robot. Check it!

And Have a Happy Valentine's Day.

~

Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess.

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SheTaxi 5 pts

Too many times people make valentine's day a bigger deal than it should be. You do not bottle u your love for one thing for a single day. So rather than putting Valentine's day on a pedistal, you should celebrate it as you would any other day because your love for anything or anyone lasts longer than a single day. Love yourself each and every day.

Liz Rizzo 5 pts

Laurie - "Life is what you make it" Ain't that the truth!

Mom101 - What a fun idea that is! Love it.

A. L. Venable - That is awesome.

Delaine - It's true, I completely ignore the commercial V-day BS as much as possible. It can get annoying if you're around it too much.

Liz Rizzo ( http://blogher.org/blog/liz-rizzo )

I blog at Everyday Goddess ( http://everydaygoddess.typepad.com/ ).

Delaine Moore 5 pts

Wow, love that quote from  Denise Nilan!  She's right - single people, myself included, often do use this day to roll their eyes and be grumpy.

I think one of the reason's Valentine's Day irks me though is that so much of the marketing is around 'couples.'  You know - cupid, two heads kissing in a heart, yadda yadda yadda.  Companies would make a hell of a lot of money if they rethought their marketing plans to include the broader picture of love. 

Delaine Moore

www.iamdivorcednotdead.com ( http://www.iamdivorcednotdead.com/ )

Because a woman's body never lies...

alvenable 5 pts

For Valentine's Day 2009, I'm attending a CPR for Singles event at the Oregon Red Cross. 

If nothing else (and I really don't expect much else), I'll spend a few hours learning something that will last beyond February 14.

A. L. Venable is a Random Citizen. She primarily writes at Dimple and a Smirk (dot) com ( http://www.dimpleandasmirk.com/ ) and Our PDX Network ( http://ourpdx.net/ ).

Mom101 5 pts

I wrote a single girl's guide to surviving valentine's day (complete with bitter haikus) and tried to pitch it for so long, by the time I gave up I was in a relationship. 

 But my favorite advice, if I recall, was to spend the night with your bff in a gay-friendly restaurant. My friend and I used to do this and not only did we get the champagne toast, they gave us each the complimentary roses. 

To be honest, I remember those Valentine's Days more than a lot of the ones since I've been paired up. 

Mom-101 ( http://mom-101.blogspot.com )
( http://coolmompicks.com )

Cool Mom Picks.com ( http://coolmompicks.com )

lauriewrites 6 pts

Was the Valentine's Day I lived with my ex-boyfriend in Ohio. We had vastly different expectations of everything, including a just-for-fun holiday like this, and it was miserable.

Just sayin'. Life is what you make it no matter what the calendar or grocery store displays or partnered status insist should be happening. Sometimes I do feel sad that I don't have romantic love in my life but that's on any random day, not just Valentine's Day.

My mom just called to tell me she bought me Nerds Valentines to give to my students and could I come by and pick them up, and while that might make me for real the big dork that I am, whatever. ;) I'm going to an Irish festival on Saturday so I'll probably be wearing green and drinking beer this year, but I'll probably wear red tomorrow to make up for it. :)

Laurie

LaurieWrites ( http://lauriewrites.typepad.com )