By inevertoldher on December 13, 2013
The weekend her daughter died,
We were not thinking about the angry caretaker.
We were not thinking about the provincial government’s promise.
Life had gone on since Mom had passed away.
We started having family night once a week.
Those shared meals with the kids became cherished memories.
Her babe deteriorated as her degenerative disease dictated.
Exhaustion became the most difficult hurdle.
She was just too tired to be a kid and do kid things.
The time had come.
Five years after burying our Mom...twice,
She had to bury her daughter.
We were totally unprepared for the message we received.
The angry caretaker refused to allow her daughter to be buried with our Mom as planned.
The angry caretaker was back to cause us grief.
The government had promised to take care of it...
A CHILD HAS DIED!
Five years had passed.
I HAD DEALT WITH IT.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE REMOVED FROM THE ROLE OF CARETAKER.
I lost it.
It was my cherry.
That angry caretaker’s message birthed a rage from deep within me.
I just let it all out.
I had no inclination of holding anything back.
I yelled, swore and cried.
I scared my kids.
I didn’t once consider her feelings.
I heard her calling my name.
The calmness in her voice is what caught my attention.
My temper tantrum ceased.
I had to calm down so I could hear her.
She was speaking so quietly.
She was taking charge.
With a tone of finality, she announced a different cemetery would be used.
She calmed me.
She had the solution.
She. Calmed. Me.
She promised she was ok with her daughter being alone.
I AM SO SORRY!
She promised she was ok with her daughter not being with Mom.
BUT YOU WANTED YOUR BABE WITH MOM!
She gave me permission to stop.
I thought it was taken care of.
She gave me permission to NOT be the family advocate.
I can’t fight anymore.
I called the municipal government folks to tell them.
They were very sorry to hear we were being treated this way.
They asked for a letter of complaint.
I reminded them of the file dated five years prior.
I directed them to utilize that information as promised before.
They asked me to contact the provincial government.
I directed them to go ahead without me.
I was done advocating.
Both Mom and her daughter had left this world.
They took my need to advocate with them.
We all needed some peace.
After her daughter’s funeral,
We reburied Mom...again.
Mom now rests, beside her granddaughter, as it was meant to be.
The gravestone marks her plot eloquently.
(The angry caretaker died the next year. The government never followed through with my complaint.)
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