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After 37 years, I have finally figured out or perhaps finally accepted, that change is really hard for me. Last week I started a new job, regular school days are back in full swing, I joined the gym after an eight year hiatus and have to go Friday through Sunday to get my three days a week in, soccer season has started and will monopolize the next ten weeks with four games per weekend AND I have my period. So yeah, a little stressed over here.
I wrote a post at the beginning of the summer about how my world tilts slightly off its axis when the girls change schedules, whether its camp to school or school to camp. Whatever it is, transition stresses me out. I now have hard evidence that camp to school is the much tougher transition and school to camp seems like a freaking cake walk.
During the summer, our biggest stress is applying sunblock to the girls every morning and getting them to camp before the 8:30am start time, and thankfully that responsibility falls solely on Drew as he is the morning drop off guy. That is like the ONE annoying thing that I actually get to miss out on because I am already at work.
School and everything about it on the other hand, legitimately calls for stress. Belle does part of her homework in after-school and still has about sixty more minutes when we get home at 5:30pm. And people, she is only in the third grade for goodness sakes. Lily gets about 20 minutes in Kindergarten, which seems to be the perfect amount considering she was chomping at the bit waiting for it, waiting to be more like her big sister.
Without fail, when I pick the girls up from school at 5pm, I get the big, blue puppy eyes for either coming too early or perhaps too late. If Lily has just gone down to play in the gym, she is VERY upset when I show up to retrieve her. The procession to the car is a switch off between melodious cries and high pitched whines, consisting of how she didn't even get to play in the gym "hardly at all." I do feel her pain though as I firmly believe that every kid has an innate need to just run wild for at least thirty minutes a day. However, I have pressure to get home to begin our night, which includes such a series of events that I tire even thinking of it now and will spare you the details.
For someone who is such a big promoter and true believer in the benefits of change, I am a little pissed at its power to throw me for such a loop. I guess this change element, could be more accurately described as, my discomfort at being outside my comfort zone.
My friend said it best when she said, as Moms we live by our schedules. We are comfortable with those schedules and so are our children and when that breaks down, so do we. I know by the end of the week I will be fine and hopefully back in the swing of things. But moving through that space is so uncomfortable, and even more challenging when you have your god forsaken period.
To all my fellow Moms and Dads out there that are dealing with the change between the carefree days of summer to the 'must get this done by tomorrow' school year beginning, you will always have an understanding ear here at heyMamas.
