GLBT
From Chastity to Chaz
by Denise

I was born in 1963, which makes me 45 years old (for just a few more months.) This is important because it means that I grew up watching The Sonny & Cher show. I LOVED The Sonny & Cher show. I mean you didn't see women like Cher walking through the Piggly Wiggly and you certainly didn't see women talk to their husbands the way Cher talked to hers. And then there was Chastity. The best shows were the ones where Chastity appeared, usually singing "I Got You Babe" along with her parents. I loved that.



And then I grew up, and Chastity grew up and we both came out (or sort of came out) at about the same time. Ah, someone I recognized and was comfortable with was queer and while she wasn't just like me, she was someone I could relate to just a little bit. After all, we had grown up together. She on TV and me watching her every week.

So there was the grown up Chastity making her way as a lesbian in a straight world, doing the whole activist bit and getting butchier and butchier by the minute. I saw her talking more and more about gender roles.

At some point, watching her from afar, I began to wonder if her shift was not so much about being a butch lesbian but about a deeper gender shift.

Outfest 2005 Awards Night - Arrivals

So when we heard the news yesterday that Chastity announced the transition to Chaz, I wasn't at all surprised. My honest first response was "It's about time." (And I'm not the only one who felt that way.)

TMZ broke the story with Chastity Bono -- Becoming a Man.

Chastity Bono, civil rights advocate, journalist, author and musician,
is in the early stages of changing his gender -- transitioning from female to male, TMZ has learned.

Bono, the child of legendary entertainers Sonny & Cher, began the process earlier this year, shortly after his 40th birthday.

From here on, I will only use the name Chaz because that's who we're talking about. That's who this person is, and has always been.

What does it mean for a person who was born a gendered female to transition to a male? That's a little complicated because it's really up to the individual.

Transition can mean everything from sex reassignment surgery to simply living in the opposite gender, without any significant body modifications at all.

We don't actually know whether Chaz will have reassignment surgery. His transition may be social or it may be surgical.

As in the case of Thomas Beattie, the transgendered F2M who just gave birth to his second child - you can be one gender but retain the genitalia of another.

Gender is complicated.

If there's one thing I'd really like people to take away from this it's that we're talking about gender and not necessarily sexuality.

And that's what Dan Savage gets wrong in his piece, Becoming a Man about Chaz.

This just doesn't happen to my gay male friends. This has never happened to a gay man that I've know personally. And I can only think of a single gay man in the public eye—one of the Arquettes—who has ever announced that, after years of consideration, he realized he wasn't honoring his true identity—e.g. he'd really been a woman all along—and was transitioning from male to female.

Chaz was never a lesbian woman. Chaz was transgendered. Chaz isn't becoming a man, he's always been one. Actually, F2M's tend to be far more invisible and discreet than M2Fs.

If Dan doesn't know any gay men who have transitioned, then it's because he doesn't know any transgendered men. This doesn't have a single thing to do with gay sexuality or lesbian sexuality, this is about gender.

And, Dan also didn't stop to consider the possibility that some of those men who he thought were gay men, were really trans and could not or chose not to transition.

Transition is not an easy thing to do, even if you know it's the right thing for you to do.

Trans people have families and friends who they don't want to disappoint or let down. They don't want to disrupt the lives of those they love. They don't want to be killed or have someone who loves them be killed. Have you ever heard of Calpernia Adams?

Coming out gay isn't easy and coming out trans isn't any easier.

More folks weigh in on Chaz. Read the comments.

  • After Ellen
  • Women Born Transsexual
  • GLAAD Blog

    • Are you wondering Cher has responded? (I don't blame you since she is honest about saying she had a difficult time the first time Chaz came out.)

    "Cher is very supportive and has known about Chastity wanting to do this for a very long time," a source tells PEOPLE. "This will be a long process but it's something Chastity has wanted to do for many years."

    Chaz has been a wonderful advocate for lesbians and will now be an even better advocate for the transgender community.

    ~~Denise
    Flamingo House Happenings

    Submitted by Denise (view blog) on Fri, 06/12/2009 - 6:19pm

    Comments

     

    Good for Chaz.

    I just finished reading Middlesex and I've been thinking a lot about the experience folks go through who don't feel right in their "gender-assigned" body, and the many different ways it plays out. If he wants to make this shift and it leads to a (hopefully) better life, good for him. it doesn't affect my life one bit, except I know I live in a world where people can better express and become who they are, even though the horrible discrimination and, in some cases, baseless retaliation, still exist. 

    Savage's comments were all about him and his world - kind of irrelevant to Chaz's story. Not that he's ever short on ego, which can either be part of his charm, or not. ;) I was glad some of the commenters responded the way they did. 

    Laurie

    LaurieWrites

    Submitted by lauriewrites on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 06:47
     

    Ah Middlesex

    I have such a love/hate relationship with Middlesex and people bring it up so darn often. ;-) I really should re-read it so I can come to terms with my issues around it. I'm sure a second reading would help. I love Eugenides so much, generally speaking.

    But, beyond my love/hate issues surrounding this book, it's a really nice introduction to the issue of intersex and transgender. I'm very glad that so many people have read it, and responded positively to the story.

    As for Savage, hah. You nailed it. It's all about him and he isn't very good at putting his life and experiences aside. But then again, most of us struggle with that at times. I'll be honest and say I've had some struggles with Beattie and his pregnancies. (Whose name I realize I typoed above will have to fix that.) My issues are very much like Dan's... I don't know anyone who would do this, so... it must be ... shrug. I've come to terms. Sort of. :-)

    ~Denise
    BlogHer Community Manager

    Flamingo House Happenings

    Submitted by Denise on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 08:19
     

    This is really interesting to me...

    ...because it brought on an entirely new discussion I didnt even consider.

    I had a very, how do I put this...a very anti-gay friend say "so why can't all gays just have the surgery?"

    And I have to admit it stopped me dead in my tracks. I didn't feel qualified enough to explain transgendered and the differences there in, but I realized that Chaz had a unique opportunity to educate a great many people.

    I hope he continues to be as open and vocal about these issues as we've seen in the past.

    Politics & News Contributing Editor
    Queen of Spain

    Submitted by Erin Kotecki Vest on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 07:15
     

    Quick answer is because not all gay folks are
    also trans but...

    This is why I told some friends that when I was writing this post, it felt like I needed to do a three part series! Gender and sexual orientation are darn complicated.

    The easy answer makes the most sense but, it's been interesting to me personally to hear M2Fs I've known who were attracted to women before transitioning or during most phases of transition suddenly find themselves attracted to men. It hasn't happened with every F2M I've known, but it has happened to a large number. Why is that?

    Is it that those F2Ms were always attracted to men but couldn't handle that because of their gender dysmorphia? Or is it that the female hormones somehow changed their sexual orientation (if this is true than how come the female hormones I have don't over-ride my attraction to women?) Or is it because as women, men treat them differently and this opens up new avenues of attraction that had been closed to them before? Or is it something else entirely?

    See, a whole new blog post right there.

    ~Denise
    BlogHer Community Manager

    Flamingo House Happenings

    Submitted by Denise on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 08:36
     

    fabulous post

     I have a friend who writes about raising her "gender fluid child"at her blog: http://genderfluidkid.blogspot.com/

    I also had a co-worker transition from male to female. I have learned a lot from all these folks who have been very open and generous with others.

    Laurie

    I blog at www.notjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com. My book is called (Not Done Yet: Living Through Breast Cancer)

    p.s.: I also loved Middlesex. And Sonny and Cher.

    Submitted by laurie on Sat, 06/13/2009 - 10:22
     

    Gender Fluid Kids

    I read that blog! And again, this was part of that whole "this needs to be a three part series!"

    But talking about what happens in the workplace to those who transition is a completely new series of posts. I have heard some horror stories, to put it mildly. I've also heard some really great stories that restore your faith in people.

    ~Denise
    BlogHer Community Manager

    Flamingo House Happenings

    Submitted by Denise on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 08:39
     

    Attack on Trans Woman in the news today...

    I'll be back to reply individually to your comments. Until then, check out the news from Seattle:

    http://www.upi.com/Top_News/2009/06/11/Transgender-woman-victim-of-hate-...

    ~Denise
    BlogHer Community Manager

    Flamingo House Happenings

    Submitted by Denise on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 07:49
     

    Experiencing Transgenderism

    Is something I do on a daily basis, even though I don't necessarily think of myself as being in transition.  I'm just me, and me is Kate.  ; )  I don't put effort into it either way, but I sure do put effort into understanding myself, since it gets a little jumbled in here sometimes, lol!

    It's extremely important that we understand the differences as well as the connections between gender expression (both internal and external), biological sex (as in biological male and/or female physiology), sexuality (gay/straight/bi/etc.) and orientation (where's your heart and who/how do you attach and express/experience intimacy).  All four are deeply intertwined, yet all four are simultaneously very separate aspects of who we are on the whole.  There simply is no foretelling how these facets will grow and change and develop as a person transitions. 

    Loren Cameron, a transsexual photogropher who first identified as a lesbian, then achieved an absolutely beautiful FTM transition, and now finds that he prefers "sameness" in his intimate relationships.  While many would consider that a change in sexuality, what it means to me is that Loren Cameron is now and always has been homo-sexual and/or like-oriented. 

    There are just sooooo many layers to this stuff, it is very difficult to wrap the brain around it.  : )

    Chaz will need a lot of support and will endure a lot of very public ridicule. 

    Pioneers never have it easy. 

    Submitted by KWest on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 10:56
     

    Openess really works

    Pioneers never have it easy, as Kate says and yet they are the ones who open doors for our closed minds and advance life.

    I keep being amazed how much opinion we have about things we actually know nothing about. Instead of keeping our mouth shut until we have a bit more information, we go ahead and make up our mind and dare to declare the nonsens we come up with shamelessly. Totally unaware we kill off opportunities to get to understand our fellow human being.
    I guess we don't have time to figure out who we have in front of us, quickly let me put you in the stereotypical box so I can get on with my life and know if I can fit you in my life easily or not.

    I admire people like Chaz, who can publicly make a stand for who they are becoming, so I can get educated and less opinionated without knowing what I am talking about.

    We live to advance, don't we not and does that also not mean to understand differences so we can all eventually have more choices and live a life that really suits us and makes us happy fulfilled people.

    Yes, differences are taking getting used to, for Chaz as well as Cher for example and are uncomfortable at times, but what are we denying when we keep the status quo at all cost.

    I love that this site allows caring dialogue about fundamental human rights, which is becoming who you want to become.

    Wilma Ham

    www.wilmasblog.com

    Submitted by Wilma Ham on Sun, 06/14/2009 - 13:42
     

    By Any Other Name...

    Frankly, I'm really glad that Chastity is becoming Chaz.  The lesbian community just doesn't need another bull for a spokesman.

    The gay community applauded when she came out awhile ago as a
    lesbian. Now she’s coming out as a man and they are still applauding. 
    Anything for a party, I guess.

    I have to ask: If she’s a transgendered straight man is he still
    part of the gay community? And, how come hermaphrodites aren’t part of
    the gay community?  What?  Is that too queer?

    I am so hoping that Chaz won’t feel compelled to release any
    statements about the penis implants.  I mean face it - she was a big
    woman, he will be a big guy with a tiny - well, you get what I’m saying.

    Do you think this is just her way of reinventing himself?  You know
    like Cher reinventing herself from that quiet beatnik-ish girl
    singing I Got You Babe to being a gay icon when she came out with
    Believe?  And what’s next for her? Gypsies, Trannies and Thieves?

    Chastity/Chaz is not part of my food group.

    Submitted by AndreaC on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 05:21
     

    Part of the gay community?

    If Chaz wants to continue to be part of the gay community, then of course he will be accepted.

    Many trans people who transition do move away from the community once they've completed transition. It's an individual thing.

    As for "hermaphrodites" -- those are are born Intersexed are definitely included in the GLBT community, except by those who don't include the Trans community. Transphobia rears its head far too often in all communities.

    ~Denise
    BlogHer Community Manager

    Flamingo House Happenings

    Submitted by Denise on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 05:26
     

    I can't really envision Chaz

    I can't really envision Chaz leaving the GLBT community after transitioning, can you?  But I guess it does happen.

    Sexual identity vs sexuality vs gender expression vs...could easily take up way more than a few posts.  I wish someone would tackle it here. 

    Submitted by no_I_am_zoe on Tue, 06/16/2009 - 19:52