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Susan Mernit is a consultant with a practice focused on hyperlocal news, community & civic engsagement and the future of news (see houseoflocal.o...
 
 
 
 

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The Cheap Date and 15 Ways to Have Fun Ones (without feeling like a cheapskate)

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Since I’ve spent the past week watching the stock market plummet and looking for a place for me and the boyfriend to move into, I have money on the brain. And it occurred to me that just because we were all worried the banks might fail (what do you think?), that didn’t mean people were going to stop going out, dating, or meeting strangers for coffee—it just meant that there was a greater need for things to do that wouldn’t cost as much money.

Hence, this guide. While typically it’s the man who pays for those early first dates (or seems like a total cad if he doesn’t), few women I know want to have the guy pay all the time when they’re in the early stages. Once the relationship is ongoing, finding things to do that are fun but affordable is even more important, since you’re probably paying some of the time. That said, here are some ways to spend time together that shouldn’t break the bank.

1. Take a hike. Walking and talking while looking at nature is something most people enjoy; make it a habit to seek out interesting local hikes and walks and do them together. Every city has areas you can get to, often on public transportation, that are both beautiful and easy enough for people preferred method of going up a mountain would be to be carried by a Sherpa. In New York, the Palisades are memorable; in San Francisco, it’s that walk north past Chrissie Field up to the Golden Gate; In Columbus, Ohio, it’s the footpaths along the Olentangy.

2. Cook a meal with a movie. Turn food preparation into a fun activity. Even if your usual routine is to stick a frozen dinner in the microwave, there’s no reason picking out something to make and then enjoy can’t be a pleasure. Go easy and make Croque Monsieurs, French-style sandwiches that involve eggs, ham, cheese, and butter, then settle in front of the TV with a great rented action flick or a drama like Minority Report.

3. Crash a scene. Maybe you don’t want to be a swing dancer, your passion for slam poetry abated once you passed 30, and those pagan full moon ceremonies your former roommate practiced left you cold, but scene-surfing is a great way to try new things and see if doing them together makes them better. Meetup and Upcoming.org offer invaluable access into low cost events and communities, take advantage.

4. Savor weekend wine tastings. The cost of a good bottle of wine at a restaurant can be steep, but doing a tasting at a local wine shop or distributor is often fun and affordable. Many wine shops have weekend scheduled events, where, for $10-$15, you can listen to a brief talk from a winemaker or importer/distributor, then sample the wines. Comparing notes on what you each liked and why is fun, and if you’re really close, you can save even more money by sharing just one flight.

5. Watch a high school or college football game. A small one. Tickets for Stanford games can be a big deal, but watching the play between less accomplished schools—or the early games in a Big School series before demand goes up—is amazingly fun and affordable, and sometimes free. And the athletes are just as passionate—they just don’t throw as far.

6. Visit a museum or arboretum, yep, on the free day. We all love having those museums and other bastions of culture nearby, but how often do you go there? Yep, that’s what I thought. Plan a visit to your local arts center or great museum on a night when it’s free and have a snack in the café if there’s time. Make it an occasion to people watch as well as experience the art.

7. Borrow a great car and go for a drive. One of my friends has a friend who belongs to a car club; once a year her buddy arranges that she and her husband can take a Maserati or some other collector car out for the day (she’s the speed demon, but she lets hubby drive). If you don’t have a friend with access to lots of vehicles, consider whether you have a friend who will swap your heap for her Miata for the afternoon; if the top goes down, so much the better.

8. Read the Kama Sutra, the Joy of Sex, or the Good Vibrations web site and talk about, then act out, the stuff you like. (That's right people, sex is freeee!) If you’re adventurous, google

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kazari 5 pts

Check out community newspapers and websites... I can always find half a dozen free/cheap things to do on a given weekend.  last weekend there was a community environment rally (with face painting), a vegetarian food festival at a buddhist temple and two local bands I could see for free.  We didn't end up doing any of these things, but it's always good to have choices.

SINgleGIRL 5 pts

Here in New York we can go kayaking for free along the Hudson.  I've done it for a few second or third dates and it's always been a great experience.  It's fun and messy and silly and little uncomfortable and the kind of thing that let's you learn a lot about a guy really quickly.  I also love going on really long walks (again, a long walk can tell me a lot about a guy).  

SINgleGIRL

Sex, Lies and Dating in the City
http://sex-lies-dating.blogspot.com/

alissakriteman 5 pts

Susan,

As the host of a weekly podcast show for women ( http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts/229-just-for... ), I am always looking for ways to empower women.  I really like and appreciate this post on creative as well as FUN ways to get to know the opposite sex!

With Love and Gratitude,

Alissa Kriteman

Author, Coach and Host of Just for Women: Dating, Relationships and Sex