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I am a teacher, a writer and a very busy mother of three. I graduated from University of Oregon with a degree in Journalism, and then from San Diego...
 
 
 
 

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What Not to Wear (and to Wear): Kindergarten Edition

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Girl's legs with striped socks

I’ve enjoyed these twenty years of teaching –- and have heard and seen it all. I’ve seen a six-year-old girl teetering into the classroom in her mother’s high heel shoes. I’ve seen a six-year-old boy wearing his grandfather’s old coke-bottle lens glasses, claiming that the doctor JUST gave them to him because he needed them. I’ve seen the ten-year-old boy wearing his camouflage pants and army shirt to school every day. I’ve seen the five-year-old boy come to school in his grandmother’s sky blue cat-woman eyeglasses, complete with studded rhinestones on the corners, claiming the doctor made him wear them after replacing his real eyes with bionic ones.

But one of my most memorable moments happened last year. It was pajama day in kindergarten, and the children could either wear PJ’s to school or bring them in their backpacks. They took turns heading into the tiny bathroom to change, smiling and singing all the way. I noticed Janie had a tiny bundle under her arm and a huge smile on her face.

As I gathered the children on the carpet, she burst out of the bathroom and pranced across the room in her mother’s tiny black negligee and what appeared to be a gorgeous black garter belt secured around her head. My mouth dropped to the floor. I am sure I laughed out loud, thanked her for modeling for us and scooted her back into the bathroom to put BACK on the Little Mermaid nightgown she had originally been wearing. I was convinced that her mother had no idea what she had smuggled into the room, but I often think of sending her a thank you note for unknowingly participating in such a wonderful memory.

I was reminded of that story this summer in summer reading camp. I heard several children barreling into the classroom laughing and giggling one morning, and looked up to see that Frank had decided to come to school in his Spiderman pajamas. And no, it was not pajama day. I smiled ear to ear as I saw him, and he was on top of the world that whole morning.

As I shared this story with a friend of mine, she looked at me intently, and said this, “I wish that I had been that mother -- the parent who let my kid go to school wearing whatever she wanted. Instead, I was the one who insisted on perfect pigtails. I remember dropping her off at school in the morning after fighting to get her hair in those perfect pigtails, and I always said that I was sorry we had a horrible morning but at least her hair looked good.”

When I look back on the years I’ve spent with the little ones, I remember fondly the children who follow their own hearts. The ones who come to school with their Dorothy slippers, wearing their grandfather’s glasses; their mother’s shoes smuggled into school in their backpacks and their polka dot shirts and striped skirts put together nicely with floral leggings. These are the children that I remember with a smile and a chuckle.

Sure, there are some rules that should be followed when sending kids to school. First, make sure they have sneakers on gym day! Some will try to avoid this, if running and breaking a sweat is not something they enjoy. Also, make sure they have snow boots in their backpacks when snow covers the ground; teachers go outside unless there’s a tornado looming or the skies have opened up. You do NOT want to be with a group of five-year-olds who have NOT had recess. Don’t send them in their Sunday best, because they surely will be playing with Play-Doh, painting, and sitting on the carpet. And last but not least, try to convince them to leave the flip-flops at home. If I had a dollar for every scraped toe, twisted ankle and tear spilled after a flip-flop accident, I would be basking in the sun at the Bahamas right now.

But perhaps the best rule of all for parents of kindergartners is this: Try to muster up the courage to let them choose what to wear, to be who they are and to wear those Dorothy slippers to school. After all, quick as a wink, they’ll be wearing nothing but Abercrombie, and you’ll be wishing for those days

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pinkiefae 5 pts

I need to relax and follow this advice. A few months back, we were going to meet some old friends at a local restaurant and my daughter wanted to wear one of her Halloween costumes to the restaurant. It was a gnome outfit. She looked darling in it but I wouldn't let her wear it. I was too worried about what people would think about me or her. I need to let it go. People will think what they want no matter what. But I'll never get that day back with my daughter and because of my worries, I took away some of her joy. Thanks for posting this.

Pinkie

Calisha 5 pts

I loved reading this. I realized long ago that the battle over what I want my daughters to wear in the moring verses what they want, are not worth the sad faces and feeling of guilt I have after they have left. I want them to learn to express themselves and as long as the clothes they choose are clean and not too revealing, I let them wear what they want....I have wondered a few times what their teachers thought. I hope they are like you and realize I'm not nuts, my kids are just creative.:)

multiainjo 5 pts

I loved this article, mostly because, as a parent sometimes I wonder what my daughter's teacher must think of me.

Letting my daughter go to school in gold fuzzy boots she got from grandma, along with striped tights and a floral dress and her hair crazy.

And it's nice to know that they understand and appreciate my daughter's sense of expressing herself. I guess I decided it wasn't worth fighting over. I have such a limited time with her, whether or not her outfit 'matches' every day is relatively miniscule.

Thanks for reminding me of that as she heads back to school.

Also, I have now locked up my 'personal' pajamas for all eternity. lol :-)

You can find me at http://accidentalreflections.blogspot.com/ 

kyooty 5 pts

Boots "in" the school bag? From November-April here the child must WEAR the boots to school, and have their indoor shoes (sneakers only) at school.

I give my boys some freedom on what they wear but I know for sure that one of mine? Would be in the same gym pants every single day of the year if I didn't pay attention.

My youngest is starting school this fall and I can't wait to see what ideas he comes up with. One thing I'd love though is if the schools would leave PJ day off the list. I've never let my boys participate because it gives me an unsettled feeling.

TheBlackTortoise 5 pts

Let them pick out their own outfit for picture day, too. Now you have their sweet style captured for an eternity. What memories those pictures capture!

Adela

Blogging at:

www.oncealittlegirl.wordpress.com ( http://www.oncealittlegirl.wordpress.com )

and

www.theblacktortoise.com ( http://www.theblacktortoise.com )

thepsychobabble 5 pts

Too cute:) We have a few rules, but for the most part, as long as it's not a special event or picture day, she gets to dress herself.

Jen ThePsychobabble runs her mouth over at http://thepsychobabble.net/blog, and is co-hosting this years @blogherathome party over at http://blogherathome.com

She can also be found on twitter as @thepsychobabble

JennaHatfield 9 pts

My kids wear their firefighter rainboots just about everywhere. And sometimes fire helmets. And occasionally full firefighter (costume) gear. So, yeah, I'm down with letting them be themselves. (But my genetically klutzy kids don't even own flip flops yet. No worries there!)

Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )), from Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ), is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

Just_Margaret 5 pts

Didn't see this before I posted my comment--I'm that mom too! :)

~Margaret

Just Margaret ( http://maurhoffbarney.blogspot.com )

Just_Margaret 5 pts

My daughter came up with some doozies in kindergarten. My approach is if it's clean and appropriate for school (no bathing suits, for example) it's fair game and she can wear what she likes. The clashing patterns and crazy tights! The odd hairclip placement! Of course, I'm also the mom who, when they were littler, let the kids wear Halloween costumes to the grocery store year round...

~Margaret

Just Margaret ( http://maurhoffbarney.blogspot.com )

Melissa Ford 5 pts

I laughed so hard with this post. I am the mum who lets her daughter get dressed in a costume to go to the store, so I'm assuming I'll let her do in next year in school too.

Melissa writes Stirrup Queens ( http://stirrup-queens.com ) and Lost and Found ( http://lostandfoundandconnectionsabound.blogspot.c... ). Her book is Navigating the Land of If ( http://thelandofif.blogspot.com/ ).

queenofallthis 5 pts

This is a cute story! My oldest was in love with Madonna and Cindy lauper (the 80's) So she decided to cute her hair on the sides to the scalp only days before school pictures, and she insisted she would wear her paint spattered looking dress with a net over top a Michael Jackson glove and blues jeans. She was four and a half. The picture is cute but not the fluffy dress I would have picked. My son would fight daily with me to wear his Ninja Turtle slippers to kindergarten. I would bring them with me when I picked him up to change into on days I could get him out of them. Looking back it makes me giggle.

BeckiHRH-Queen of all this!

midnightbliss 5 pts

my 5-year old niece loves dressing up. when its free day in school, it takes a lot of convincing to dress properly for school but its fun to watch them dress up themselves.

Expat Mum 5 pts

I decided 17 years ago that I would pick my battles and clothing wasn't going to be one of them. Surprisingly, my 17 year old girl wears jeans and t-shirts most of the time. It's the 14 year old boy who is currently threatening blue hair just in time for school.
I can't really argue with him since I encouraged his individuality, but be warned - it sometimes doesn't end with the Spider man PJs.

texasebeth 6 pts

I love when you post pics of the shoes your kids wear. Charlie definitely has his own taste in clothing but thankfully almost everything matches khaki, jeans, navy & black bottoms.

Elizabeth

@texasebeth ( http://twitter.com/texasebeth )  and My Life, such as it is.... ( http://texasebeth.blogspot.com )

SCanon 5 pts

This post is just bursting with bubbles and cuteness! (Seriously)
I was the kid who had to go to school looking immaculate all the time. Now that I've read this, I think I'll be a bit more lenient on my boys when they are in their early elementary years.
Somer blogs at Merry Wife of Canon ( http://www.merrywifeofcanon.com ) as well as Smell My Plate ( http://www.smellmyplate.com ).