Child Care Problems

So, I am faced with the possibility of finding another job.  My current place of employment keeps jerking everyone around, taking away vacation, laying people off, making the ones that are left take call, the usual bull crap when they want to lessen the load of employees.  I really dread this because I know that my three 12 hour shifts will be a thing of the past.  I might even have to work second or third shift.  I was able to do this before my daughter was born but now I really just want to stay home with her!  I know that’s not very modern or career minded but I really would love to be a stay at home mom.  Does that make me weak or lacking?  Do I really have to be a career woman to find fulfillment in my life?  I don’t think so but I do have to work to pay the bills.  Why couldn’t I just win the lottery or been born wealthy??? 

Anyhow, my worry is that I will have to find daycare.  My daughter will be three in February.  I have been so lucky/blessed that my mom and aunt have babysat on their days off for her.  I cannot bear the thought of putting her in daycare.  I remember when she was younger before my mom went to a flex schedule and my aunt was working different hours searching for a daycare for my daughter.  I felt so guilty over having to put her in daycare that I couldn’t stand myself.  I visited every daycare in Richmond Kentucky.  I toured them, talked to the teachers, took Bella and even sat in on a couple of days.  I hated the daycares!!!  It seemed like little assembly lines of children.  They are fed, changed, sat in the floor, read to, nap, and home.  One person can have so many children with them, I believe at the time it was 6 per person for children under two.  How can a child be given any individual attention with that many children to care for?  I left my daughter at two different daycares and ended up going and getting her after only a couple of hours because she cried uncontrollably.  The daycares called me to come get her.  Now, here I am again faced with finding a full time babysitter, or at least someone that can watch her three of the five days.  I don’t know what to do or where to turn?  How does one find good, affordable daycare? 

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