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Child Free Flights and Restaurants

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Even as a single woman, I’ve never had much of a problem with children on airplanes. I have, however, seen a man so drunk he vomited all over his seat (and the one in front of him) and listened to him insult the staff around him with slurred speech. He was handcuffed to the seat behind us and we had to put up with that smell for the remaining four hours of the flight.

I’ve also seen a few people who ordered the airplane staff around as if they were waiters and waitresses. Maybe I’ve been lucky, but being stuck with children running around and screaming has never happened to me and I’ve flown a lot. We all hear about the odd baby crying (especially during take-off and landing) and the child who won’t stop kicking the chair in front of her (that drives everyone nuts on a plane, no matter their age or parental status!) but in general, flights with kids aren’t really as bad as we think.

Now that I have three young kids of my own who started taking long distance flights within weeks of being born, I see both sides.  Our children love to travel, they enjoy watching a movie on the plane and love the whole excitement of it--stocking their backpacks, settling into their seats and the fun of ordering their own drinks when the cart comes around. They also know to only get up to go to the bathroom and stretch their legs every couple of hours. And yelling or screaming just doesn’t cut it with us nor most of the other families we see on planes. As for not kicking the seat in front of them? I’ll admit it took about two years for it finally to sink in that the chair in front belonged to someone else. Even still, they need quick reminders on the plane not to kick seats and then they are good to go. The kids are great but they’re not perfect!

It’s fair to say that adults who are paying to eat and relax in upscale restaurants should be allowed to do so without misbehaving children who might ruin the atmosphere. As an adult, I think adult-only restaurants or restaurants that don’t admit children after a certain time are a great idea. There are many child friendly restaurants and eat-and-play places like Chuck E. Cheese where kids can eat, play and run around without upsetting others. One North Carolina restaurant placed a sign that read “Screaming Children Will Not Be Tolerated!” to the cheers of many. While some parents didn’t like it, the restaurant brought in more customers who wanted to be able to enjoy a meal without disruptive children.

But some people are calling for child-free flights or sections on airplanes that are for adults only.  For parents with well-behaved children, this may not go down well. Why should their children be assumed as disruptive and be forced to sit with actual disruptive children that may ruin their flight? The assumption that all families are nightmares-in-waiting is wrong. Many agree but other commentators on various blogs have said they’d welcome a family section where they would feel less pressure to make sure their children behave perfectly.

There’s certainly merit to having adult only flights, if people truly don’t want to be around children in any capacity. Some are even willing to pay more for this option. If enough people who have the extra money sign up for this, then it could be a new way of flying that meets the needs of adults who travel without children. If there is both demand and supply, it could be a really good thing.

As for mandatory family sections – I’ll take a pass. Families who pay good money to fly should be able to sit anywhere on a plane.  Children don’t fly for free; their tickets are fully paid for. As long as children are well-behaved (and most are, despite angry commentators acting like every child is a monster) then they should be able to sit where they wish.

Generally, misbehaving children have parents who don’t take the time to teach their kids good manners and etiquette. For the vast majority of us, the days of flying being a luxury (where people dressed up for the occasion!) are long gone. Flying is routine, mundane and cramped. We all have to put up with each other, no matter what our ages are. This is life and we live it as best we can. Parents need to step up

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Pink Bears 5 pts

It does seem like a form of discrimination, doesn't it?  Although there are certainly some children who are allowed by their parents to behave monstrously, there are also some adults who do the same.  Instead of an age thing, could we not simply have behavioral expectations - regardless of age - and be done with it?

NerdMom 6 pts

Maybe those adults who want an adult only flight will pay more and the rest of us who don't care can get cheaper flights.

The other wins for me? Maybe there won't be loud drunks on the kid friendly flight. And maybe then the adults on those flights won't just pass dirty looks at every kid they see: quiet or not.

CandaceApril 8 pts

If private businesses feel that they can gain more customers, whatever--their call.

But it will be a sad, sad day when I go to Chuck E. Cheese.

There is an entire universe of options between Chuck E. Cheese and a restaurant so upscale I would hesitate to bring my kids.

In general, I find "ethnic" places, even very chic ones, to be very child friendly. The atmosphere is usually a little more fun and the waitstaff is usually very happy to see and acommodate children.

Candace Lindemann is an educational consultant and writer who blogs at Naturally Educational ( http://naturallyeducational.com ), Army Wives' Lives ( http://ArmyWivesLives.com ), and Mamanista ( http://mamanista.com ).

Susan Cody 5 pts

some children with special needs cannot help certain behaviors in public (my comment was meant "generally" as I wrote) and I would certainly hope that parents who are working hard to help their children with special needs would not be given a hard time! Even children with no particular needs can have bad days - just like adults.
Thanks for commenting!

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Amaryllis 5 pts

It may be extra work on a parent to have a special needs child, but it is not up to society to put up with screaming from the behaviorally challenged, doesn't matter if they are a child or an adult. Regardless of the reason, if you don't know how to behave in public you shouldn't go to public venues.

MarfMom 8 pts

I agree with lesasgoods. Part of living on this earth is dealing with situations (& people) that you don't like. Why should children be singled out? Maybe we should have a section for people on the plane who are going to fart the whole time, so everyone else doesn't have to smell it? Or for people who snore, so we don't have to hear them?

Also, I wouldn't be so quick to assume that all misbehaving kids have parents who aren't teaching them good manners. What about kids with special needs? My son has autism. I do everything I can to help him behave in public, and I'm working closely with his therapists to get him read for an upcoming cross-country plane ride but I can't promise a perfectly behaved child. It doesn't mean I'm a lazy parent, that I have a bratty child, or that we're less deserving of being able to fly as we choose (i.e. - choosing our seats).

As you wrote, flying is cramped. We all just need to be a little more patient with each other.

lesasgoods 5 pts

Ok, here is my problem with this: we pay the same amount as everyone else. Not all parents let their children run amok and be disruptive. My children have always behaved in a restaurant because they know if they don't, they will not be visiting one again any time soon. As for airplanes, I took my son on his first flight at age 2, and he was great.
I have not had problems with children on planes, but I have had problems on planes with disruptive, loud mouthed, drunk people who should have been cut off at some point and weren't. I am so sick of this whole backlash against people who have kids. I have kids. I am not shoving them in anyone's face. I take full responsibility for them. Most of the adults I have met who are anti-child, also act like they have a stick shoved up their butts and are pretty rude. Can I have restaurants and plane rides without them? Highly doubtful.

Alexandra Bartologimignano 6 pts

If all of the children, and children wanna-bes, would just grow up, the world would be a better place. We have four (well-behaved kids). The other day, the husband and I ventured out solo while the kids were in day camp. We went to a restaurant where the hostess tried to seat us... right next to a young boy that we know, along with his grandmother. Not our idea of getting away! I think I'll have to blog about this....