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Sparkle (3)
Did I commit sexual abuse when I took this picture of Lilly? Is this "child pornography"?
In 2008, an Arizona couple was accused of sexual abuse after taking bath-time photos of their children -- then ages 1 1/2, 4 and 5 -- and then trying to have them developed at Walmart. The parents were not allowed to see their children for several days and didn't regain custody for a month while the state investigated. Ultimately, neither parent was charged with sexual abuse and they regained custody of their children.
Lilly (at almost 3)
Imagine the lasting harm this inflicted on the children and their parents. Then imagine it happening to you.
With sexting and nude photos of minors causing a growing cultural panic, as addressed in a recent article by professor emeritus Paul Rapoport, it is not too unlikely. Stated a Canadian police officer recently after an eruption in the media's talk about sexting in Cape Breton, N.S.: "Taking naked photographs of anyone under the age of 18 -- even themselves -- constitutes making child pornography.” Comments Dr. Rapoport: "Really? Forget about teens; it’s time to destroy those cute photos of your baby in the bath."
The media thrives on sensationalist, fear-inducing stories, including on the most shocking outcomes of sexting, but a new survey found that teens aren't the rampant sexting maniacs we thought:
Just 1 percent of teens say they've created sexually explicit images and shared them, according to a new survey of 1,560 teenagers by the Crimes Against Children Research Center (CCRC) at the University of New Hampshire in Durham. About 2.5 percent of teens said they'd appeared in or created nude or nearly nude photos or videos. That's a far cry from the "20 percent of all teens are sexting" data that's been tossed around in the past few years.
Nevertheless, a number of US states have at this point criminalized the sending and sharing of nude photos, hitting teenagers with child pornography and sex offender charges. In her book Dirty Little Secrets, practicing psychotherapist Kerry Cohen further discusses the mistaken approach of penalizing youth for sexting. Exposing the sensationalist stories blown up by the media for what they are, without glossing over some real concerns, e.g. about older men soliciting teenage girls via Facebook, Cohen forces us to consider what the real problem is, which "is not necessarily that girls are victims of predatory males. It's that they are victims of very narrow definitions of sexual desirability, and in many ways, sexting is one more way girls wind up viewing sexual behavior as completely removed from their own desire."
The issue is that many girls -- you guessed it, loose girls -- use sexting and cybersex to try to feel wanted, and just like when they use male attention and sex in similar ways in real life, they don't get what they're after. When I asked the girls I interviewed why they sexted, their answers all pointed to a desire for connection. Amelia said, "It makes what is basically impossible to me possible, which is a hot guy liking me and wanting me in all ways." "All ways?" I asked. "Well, sexually, I guess," she said.
When the thing is that girls post nude pictures of themselves as "sexy" and "fun" girls as a way to gain the attention of boys, it means that girls are already victims. They are victims of our culture's warped ideas about sex and gender that tell girls to be "sexy but not sexual." Further penalizing them is not the place to begin. Again, I would urge that the we penalize the predator, not the victim. Which begs the question: when the predator cannot be identified as "the predatory male," but a cultural set of ideas that shapes the behavior of girls (and boys), then what? The issue is hugely complex. For now, Cohen implores parents not to let "their fears turn into what teenagers perceive as violations of privacy."
Blocking their Internet usage, checking up on their computers, and wrangling passwords from their teens will only lead teenagers to tell even less, and the more open the lines of communication are between teenagers and adults concerning sex-related issues, the better.
She also reminds us that online resources and positive communities can be a good place for youth to turn for real, frank information when conversations with parents can be embarrassing. And the potential of sexting as a safe way
