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It must be a rite of passage into adulthood, the knowledge that clean and orderly surroundings lead to peace of mind. Of course not all adults make it to cleanly bliss, but one thing is true, no children are born that way.
My husband and I are both relatively neat people. Our house can get a bit cluttered, but on the whole, it is organized and clean. When our son was born, we instinctively cleaned up after him and taught him early on that he could not play with a new toy until the first one was put away. He was a relatively neat toddler, and as most toys never wandered far, it was easy to show him how to put things away. Then came my daughter. To say that she is a tornado is an understatement. Not only does she make a mess in one room, she likes to bring things from one room to another, making clean up a nightmare. Having two children also meant that we were no longer in control of our house. We were too exhausted to constantly remind them to pick up after themselves and point out the messes that they apparently cannot see under their noses. Soon my son also got into the habit of making a mess of his room as well. His favorite floor covering is a mixture of Lego's, Bakugan and ninjas on motorcycles scattered with books, playing cards and Nerf darts.
Whenever we asked the kids to clean up their rooms, histrionics ensue as though we are asking for the ultimate sacrifice. My daughter is often overwhelmed and would rather spend an hour crying hysterically instead of cleaning up her room. When that happens we have to break down the task for her so that she can handle it. Pick up all the dress-up jewelry and put them in the box, gather up all the dolls and put them in the dollhouse, put the books in the bookcase, etc. It is often more work to direct her than to do it yourself, but hopefully it is sinking into her chaotic brain.
I asked my son recently if having a neat room felt good. He said no. Do you feel happy when your room is messy? Yes. How about when you need to find something? I'll just throw things around until I find it. What if you need to find it in a hurry? I'll just throw things faster. Organized bliss is obviously a lost cause on him!
In the meantime, we still need to get our kids to clean their rooms even though entropy rules their lives. So how do we cope? Here are some tips that we've used in the past:
- Bribery - The promise of a cookie can work wonders. Magically, tears disappear and rooms get cleaned up in minutes. Of course, this approach must be used sparingly as not to add obesity to list of ways we are ruining our kids.
- Taking away privileges - This is our general approach to discipline. Video games, computer time and play dates disappear when they don't listen. This is not as effective as bribery when it comes to cleaning rooms as they often get more upset and feel persecuted.
- Donating old toys and books - This is also a great way to teach charity. The biggest problem when it comes to cleaning up the kids' rooms is finding a place for all their stuff. The less stuff they have, the less they have to clean up. We always let them choose which items they want to keep or donate, with parental line-item veto of course.
I don't remember when I first turned around and got the urge to clean and organize on a semi-regular basis. All I know is that my kids at age 8 and 5 are a long way off from that point. And hopefully they will someday appreciate all our efforts to get them to clean their rooms.
Contributing editor Angela blogs about her kids' exploits in entropy at mommy bytes.
